Are You at The Point of No Return?

What are you running away from?  Or headed towards?  Have you even really thought about it - or do you just find yourself running and you don't even know to where?

There are several different ways of escape.  If you are looking for one, you will surely find it, but before you open that door - whatever it maybe, perhaps you should stop for a moment and collect your thoughts and think.  Just quiet your mind and try to gather up your thoughts.

Try and think about what has brought you to the point you are at in the first place. Is it a traumatic event?  Is it a family upset?  Do you feel lost and like you just "want to run away from it all?"  Do you feel as though God let you down?  Or perhaps you thought you had heard the voice of God and things didn't turn out so well and now you are confused.  Maybe someone has disappointed you and you are hurting and all you want to do is run away from the situation.  Everything inside of you is screaming out, "ESCAPE! RUN!!!" And you know you are in flight mode.

Stop in your tracks. Calm down. Breathe.  This is when you are at your most vulnerable. This is the point where most Christians become prodigals.  Instead of running towards God, they run away and become disoriented, confused, angry, sad, frusturated and lost.

Watch out! You are headed right towards one of ol slewfoot's traps and you are getting ready to step right in it! And once you step in it you'll become all tangled up.

How do I know? Because it happened to me.  Sometimes unexpected situations occur in our lives that we didn't see coming.  They are outside of our comfort zone or realm of understanding.  No matter how much we try, we can't seem to make heads or tails of it. "Why Lord? How? I followed Your rules, I did what you asked - WHY did this happen to me??!!"  We lose faith in God and be it in anger or confusion or sadness we step away from Him instead of towards.

What has been your escape?  Perhaps you entered into it and you weren't even aware that you were taking that first step into the unknown.  You didn't see the "Beware" or "Danger" sign - maybe it was your own ignorance or maybe you were so tuned into your own emotions that you didn't even see it as you passed it by.  You entered a realm that was not meant for you to venture into.  Perhaps at first it felt soothing.  It took your mind off your situation or your problems.  It seduced you and made you walk deeper still into its escape.  There are so many different kinds - one for every personality.  Was it drugs? Sex? TV? Alcohol? Work? A pretend world? The Internet? These are just to name a few.  Like entering a spider's web, did you get stuck in it?  Did it disorient you and give you a eurphoric sensation?  Did you feel accepted? Loved? Did you feel as though you were able to escape who you were? Or where you came from? Like you entered an oasis.  Maybe the farther you entered into the escape the less you wanted to return to reality.  You were cajooled, enticed.  Usually a form of escape has some appeal to it - it just depends upon your personality, your likes and your dislikes.  Deeper you walked into it until even if you looked over your shoulder, you couldn't see your way back.  The way you once knew was gone.

Maybe it didn't happen to you but someone you love.  Maybe you saw them become less and less who they were and right before your eyes they were disappearing and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't reach them.  The fact is - they couldn't see you anymore and they didn't want to be reached... Sometimes the only one who can reach them - is meant to reach them is the One who created them. Not YOU.  But here is the thing, God has given us free will.  He has given us the ability to make choices.  Good choices and bad and sometimes He sits back and watches us and allows us to make mistakes.  It is not the path He chose for us but He allows us to walk it.  Knowing fully well it will bring us pain and regret and sorrow but hopefully more importantly it will bring us growth.

It couldn't have been easy for God to watch Adam and Eve make the worst decision of their lives.  How much sorrow and pain it must have brought to God, knowing fully well that the choice they made would not only affect the two of them but everyone throughout the course of history.  He made them out of love and they turned their back on Him.  We could get mad at Adam and Eve for what they did - but the truth is we all turn our back on God at one point or another in our own walks.  (Ouch - that one hurt to write...)

Yet all all the while God had another plan in place.  He knew what was going to happen and while I'm sure it pained Him, He already had a plan in mind of how He would unite us once again to Him. This time for all eternity.

Adam and Eve when they sinned tried to hide from God.  We try to hide from God.  We try to hide from situations we create.  The truth is - we can't.  It's (pardon the pun) "fruitless" to even try.  Whatever escape you are trying or have walked into - it is only temporary.  You can't run from or escape from God.  The consequences are not those that He intended you to experience. Guilt, sadness, regret, confusion, embarrassment - to name just a few. How many times along the pathway home did the prodigal hesitate and want to turn around and not face his father?  Yet he knew that there was no going back the way he had come.  He also knew that he was a different person than the person who had left his father's house with his inheritance at hand.  Hopefully he was wiser.  I'm quite sure he was humbled beyond words.  Every step back home must have felt heavy.  How many times did he play what he thought would be the reception he would receive in his head?  (And more than likely it was not the one he ended up receiving!)  I'm quite sure he did not expect to see His father running down the pathway to meet him halfway!  I'm quite sure he did not expect his home coming to be celebrated!  He probably wanted to just disappear into the woodwork of the house due to shame and embarrassment.  How shocked was he at his Father's joyous embrace?  How long did it take him to be able to receive the forgiveness and acceptance his Father so freely, graciously gave him?  And how many things that his brother said to his father about him had he himself not thought?

Making your way back home is harder than any words I can write.  But for every prodigal I say, keep trodding.  Keep stepping.  Keep walking.  Keep praying.  Keep looking ahead and not behind.  The journey back home includes having to walk in forgiving yourself for your own transgression.  There may be things along the pathway that would try to tempt you and pull you back - but they will have no hold on you, for you know that their escape is really not one of escape, but pain, regret and falsehood and entrapment.  In order to go forward in life you have to walk through the pain.  Pain caused to you or pain you have caused.  In order to walk forward to where God wants you to be you have to realize that there is ONE reality and no matter how hard you've tried to hide from the reality, the reality has always been the same.  It has never truly gone away.  Instead of trying to escape a situation - face it! Head on!  Has someone disappointed or hurt you? Forgive them!  Communicate with them, they may not even realize that they have hurt you or made you feel rejected.  If they DO know that they have done it and don't care - then know that you are not responsible for someone else's actions - only your own.  This is where we learn to walk in forgiveness.  When you release someone - you also release yourself. Sometimes the only thing we can do is release them into God's good and capable hands.  Its not easy to do - but sometimes its the only thing we can do.

Here is another thing... God can turn things around.  Use our mistakes and bad decisions for His glory.  Through my prodigal period I have learned that it is truly nothing but God's love, His grace and His mercy and His forgiveness that has saved me.  The truth is - I was NEVER good enough to earn redemption or Heaven.  It is totally by His grace and love.  I think on some level, I felt as though I had "never done anything bad enough." But the truth of the matter is there is no degree of sin.  Sin IS sin.  The prodigal in the Bible found himself eating pig slop.  I'm sure in his eyes it wasn't possible to get any lower than that.  God can take your lowest moments and be glorified through them and when it happens, you will realize that it is TOTALLY God and not anything YOU.  I think God allows us to make our "bad" choices because He knows that we will grow from the experience and will be able to extend the right hand of fellowship once we have arrived back home from that journey and help someone else or have compassion and not judgement upon someone else who is going through a similar experience.  So what ol' slewfoot meant for trouble - God uses to for His glory and to draw men closer to Him.

Next time I feel like running - I will run towards God and not away, like a child who is afraid and runs into his/her parents arms for protection, I will run towards my God because the only TRUE escape one can find, is in Him. Isn't it time you stopped running? Stopped trying to make an escape? And ran to the One who can give you what you truly need? Who knows what you truly need? He is a balm and will provide you with the peace that passes ALL understanding - just run towards the LIGHT - the light is HIM.

Bloom Wherever You Are Planted...

It's Mother's Day and I'm at work... Now that is not a complaint, I'm very thankful for the overtime that has opened up.  It is God's provision for me and I'm only here a few hours before I head back to spend the day with my mom and children at my childhood home.  I'm writing this because when I left the house, the whole rest of the world was still asleep, I opened up the front door and the first thing I saw was the pink cherry tree had blossomed - as in overnight!  Stunningly beautiful pink blossoms hanging off each limb. I stopped in my tracks because of its sheer breathtaking beauty.  Honestly, it made me think, how can ANYONE not believe there is a God?  His presence and glory is ALL around us!  I felt as if He was giving me flowers! Wishing me a "Happy Mother's Day."

"For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God." (Romans 1:20)

I found myself thinking about the seasons, how God woo's us with his love through nature. He gives us bouquets of flowers, flowering trees, wonderfully distinctive plants!  He sings love songs to us through the birds! He caresses our cheeks with the wind!  So many of us are so busy that we don't notice the obvious ALL around us!  He wants our attention and lovingly surrounds us by His creation and glory.  I thought - my goodness!!!  I'm blown away by the beauty in this cherry tree - can you imagine the beauties we will see in Heaven?  What an amazing, creative, loving, wonderful God we have and ALL He wants is our love!  It is so easy to love Him, if you allow yourself to.  You can't "out love" God.

As I walked to my car, I was greeted by Mrs. Turkey.  It felt like she and I were the only ones awake in the whole world.  "Happy Mother's Day Mrs. Turkey," I giggled at her as I climbed into my car.  No wonder morning time is one of the best times to seek God and meditate on His many wonders.  Everything is just waking up and coming to life.  As I drove to my office, I started thinking about that tree.  How it only blooms for a couple of weeks before those pink petals will fall to the ground.  But OH how glorious it is when it blossoms!  I started thinking about how we are like that tree.  If you looked at that tree other times of the year, you might not notice it.  It isn't very striking.  In fact it is rather plain and thin, nothing outwardly extraordinary about it... But on the inside, work is going on behind the bark and at just the right time God has it bloom...

Perhaps we are like that tree?  You were made for a purpose.  It is up to you to prayerfully figure out what that purpose is for your life.  To discover it.  But you have to want to.  You can needlessly go through life, not meeting the full potential that God has for you.  He never "makes" anyone do something.  You have to want to.  You can go through life merely "existing."  But God has so much MORE in store for you.  When we "merely exist" we are just going through the motions of life.  There is something lacking.  There is a place within us that is going unfulfilled.  I know you know what I mean - even if you don't admit it to yourself.  There is a void.  Maybe you are feeling like there is something MORE - you just don't know what it is.  Maybe you are trying to fill that void with other things - but the truth is; the VERY truth is that void was meant to be filled by your God given purpose.  Something God had in mind for YOU to do from the very time He created you and until you choose to seek what that thing is you will never live life to the full potential God intended you to.  How do you find out what that is? PRAY.  Communicate with Him as you would someone you loved very much and wanted to know better.  He is there!  Silently waiting for you to give Him your undivided attention.  There is nothing about you that will surprise Him.  So if you are going through a prodigal time in your walk, admit it - bring your concerns, faults, sins and all before Him.  You can't hide from God and He knows it anyhow.  So come to Him as you are.  He desires to show you the purpose He has made you for.  Now I'm not saying it will be easy, or that that purpose will be fulfilled overnight - it is a life time effort and a life time calling - whatever He has called you to do.  Part of it is discovering what it is.

I remember when I was in my 20's prayerfully talking to God.  I had been on the stage since I was 3 years old and just knew that my life's passion was to become an actress.  I studied theatre, I went to auditions, I did a few independent commercials.  I just knew I was going to become a famous actress, but as I talked to God and prayed and asked Him what my purpose in life was to be, just waiting for Him to say back to me "why silly girl, it is acting of course..."  He surprised me.  These are the exact words He quitely said, and I say quietly because God has never yelled at me.  His voice is always quiet and gentle.

"It is as plain as the nose on your face."

 

"How is that Lord?" I responded puzzled.

 

"I've called you to write."

 

"To write? But Lord, that is something that I have always done." I said incredulous, brushing it off.

 

"I know." He responded.

 

"But I've always written... That's nothing... I've kept a journal since 3rd grade.  I've written stories and poetry for as long as I could write."

 

"Yes..." He reiterated what He had said.

It all began to make sense to me.  He had not called me to act (although that is a fine profession).  He had called me to write - and it was so obvious I hadn't even seen it.  Is God calling you to do or become something that is so obvious YOU may have missed it? Maybe something YOU have done all of your life?  Sometimes it can be so obvious you don't see it.  Hence the reason He said to me, "it is as plain as the nose on your face..."  Sometimes we are looking so hard - we miss it.

With a calling, once you have discovered what it is - there is a responsibility to walk in it.  True fullfillment comes only when you know what that calling is and then obeying God by walking in it.  This may mean honing your talent.  Learning your trade so to speak.  I write well, but make a lot of gramatical errors.  (LOL) Still once God gives me inspiration, I have to write.  It comes from the Holy Spirit, through my heart and out of my fingers!  I believe it is the reason God has made it so that I type 95 wpm!  I truly believe I am a "finger" in the body of Christ. (Grinning).  There are times when I get caught up in the things of the world that I don't take time to fulfill my calling by "applying the seat of my pants to the seat of my chair."  It is during those times when I feel at my lowest because I am not doing what I was made to do.  When I am obedient to my calling and I take the time out of my busy day to do what I'm suppose to be doing, I feel fulfilled.  I pray that the writings in my blog can be used far and wide to glorify God.  That it will move, encourage or help someone in some way (whatever God sees fit) to help someone grow closer to Him.  This is my calling, this is my purpose.

I am a divorced mother, a cancer survivor someone who's life has changed dramatically over the last 4 years, but while my life has surprised ME, it hasn't surprised God.  I work a full-time job because I have to provide for my children.  Remember, the Bible tells us Jesus was also a carpenter... I may work a full time job - but that is a means to an end, it is not my purpose.  It is not my calling.  (And this does not mean you should not work any position as if you weren't working for the Lord - because everything IS for His glory, and remember people are watching you closely, especially if they know you are a Christian...)  I moan and complain to God (every morning) asking Him why I could not have been "born rich. I express to Him how my dream is to own a small simple cottage off the ocean, where I can spend my days with someone I love and with my children, spending my days writing for His glory..."  (I'm still believing Him for that, by the way...)  He smiles at me indulgently, as He is use to my rantings and just like that child who has a temper trantrum on the floor of the grocery store because his mother won't buy him that piece of candy, He lets me have my daily morning temper trantrum, waits for me to finish and then asks me calmy:

 "Are you done now?"

"Yes Lord," I say wiping my eyes and hiccuping.

The truth of the matter is - we make time for what we want to make time for.  God is not always our priority, nor is the calling once we know what it is.  The Bible says:

"To much is given, much is required." (Luke 12:48)

Once you know what your special calling is, you have a responsibility to walk in that calling.  God is only asking you to plant or to water.  Providing the increase is His responsibility  - not yours.  I don't write for my "own glory."  I write because I am called to.  I NEED to.  There is someone, somewhere who God is using the Holy Spirit to minister to - and this word will drift over there way and hopefully encourage them in whatever means God deems it.  My responsibility is only to do what God has asked.  The rest is up to Him.  I may not know how many people the words God has given me through my walk, through my writings will or has encouraged until I am perhaps on "the other side."  I am okay with that because like that cherry blossom tree.  When I utilize the skills God has given me and walk in my calling - I blossom in His love.  There is no greater feeling than to know that you are being used by God, for His purpose.

It's time for you to blossom.  Just like that cherry tree - there are undercurrents occurring and changes that are taking place in you below the surface of your outward self... Let God allow you to come in season.  To blossom in His love. To fulfill your calling.  It is why He created you.  He has a purpose for your life that only YOU can fulfill.  Don't merely exist from day to day - walk in the fullness of His love.  Blossom like only YOU can.  The time is now.
 

The Struggle is REAL...

Some of the most beautiful things in life come out of struggling...

My teenage daughter has come up with a teen saying that makes me shake my head in amusement; one of the things I have always loved about my daughter is her creativity.  She is talented and expressive and her latest passionate saying that I hear at least once every two days is:

  “The struggle is REAL...”

She is all of almost 15 years old.  It’s hard for me to think back to 15 and think about how “real” the “struggle” was and exactly what was the struggle at that age?  I must be getting old… 15 was 32 years ago for me…  But I can totally relate to the saying.  Although I’m quite sure my struggles at 47, being a divorced single mother and 4 year breast cancer survivor differ from hers, not making her struggles (whatever they may be at 15) any less significant. 

As we journey through life on our own unique individual journeys, our struggles to us are REAL.  I’m learning not to be led by my struggles.  Not to give them more space than they deserve to have.  The truth is that as long as we have breath in our body, we will experience different struggles.  Quite often those “struggles” are growing pains and yes, they even happen to someone like me – in their forties.  They are simply life’s lessons.  How you respond to them is up to you.  Like a multiple choice question you have the ability to choose how you will respond to those “struggles” that come up in your life. You can choose to become “bitter” or “better.”  When I find myself becoming bitter about something, I have to stop and cut off that bitterness much as one would cut the ends of a bouquet of freshly cut flowers to keep them from wilting and holding on to their beauty in the vase just a little bit longer. Sometimes it is a matter of re-evaluating and determining what is important and what is simply something I should shrug off.  Sometimes it’s the realization that I have made a tiny little struggle magnified just by my feelings or my frame of mind at the moment.  During those times I have needed to “step back” and see if this is a tiny little struggle or one that is big enough to consume me.  We have all heard the saying “making a mountain out of a mole hill.”

Sometimes the only one standing in my way is ME. Have you ever felt that way?  We think too much, we analyze too much, we critique ourselves too much.  Sometimes the struggle is REALLY – us! Step aside! Get out of your own way! Stop beating yourself up! Stop over thinking! Stop over doing! Stop comparing yourself to someone else! Stop coveting!    Stop! Stop! Stop!

Life can be a struggle.  But when you really think about it - nothing worth anything was ever easy. Maybe there is a certain satisfaction in looking back at certain struggles and knowing that you made it through (with the Grace of God).  Maybe we go through some of those struggles to be able to stretch out our hand behind us later on and help someone else who is “struggling.”  How can we affectively and compassionately understand people if we can’t identify with them?

If a caterpillar doesn’t struggle to get out of his cocoon, he dies.  If a chick doesn’t struggle to peck through its shell it won’t be born. Maybe some of the most beautiful parts of life come because of the struggle?  Maybe even though we don’t feel it at the time – there is a purpose that we can’t see because of the struggles we go through. Perhaps it gives us a finer appreciation and maybe in some instances a sense of accomplishment and pride. Maybe the struggle isn’t for US but for those we love that come AFTER us.

Yes, the struggle IS real, but it is only part of the journey - maybe we should think about concentrating on the outcome of the struggle instead of the struggle itself? And to remember that we have a God who has already won the biggest struggle of all for us. Perhaps we should concentrate on the rainbow that is sure to follow the storm - instead of the storm itself... Makes you think, doesn't it?  The struggle is real, but the outcome is worth it.

Are You Feeling Blown Away?

Has something blown you away? Time to go to the One who controls the wind - and get your life back on track...

There are days when I feel just like the last scene in the movie "Forrest Gump" you know the scene - when you see the leaf just drifting aimlessly along with the wind.  Those are days when I just want to cry out to God.  Just cry out to Him in frusturation and confusion and aggravation.  I want to say, "God! I have made a mess of things and I don't know how to fix it!! HELP ME!"  Or I want to say, "Father! I am doing ALL I know HOW to do - I can't think anymore! HELP ME!" Or I want to say, "Life wasn't suppose to be like this Lord, what can I do to get back on track?!"  Have you ever felt that way?

I've just gone through a major life change.  One that I saw coming, had been in the works for years - but I didn't realize all I would feel when it actually occurred.  When it was all said and done.  I thought I was ready for it.  I thought I would be fine with it.  I thought I wouldn't feel a thing.  I was wrong.  While my reaction and feelings surprised me, they didn't surprise God. 

"What has been will be again,what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9)

That is true, yet it feels SO different when "you" are the person "it" is happening to...   It's okay not to have "all the answers."  I don't think God expects us to.  In fact, I think He might raise an eyebrow at you if you acted as if you did.  HE is the great I AM.  HE is the Alpha and the Omega.  HE is our beginning and our end.  HE is the one we should turn to when we have hit rock bottom - or are on our way down...

God knows I don't have all the answers, but I think that is why Jesus says to us:

"Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."(Matthew 11:28)

He is our rest.  He wants us to come to Him.  Just go to Him in prayer and trust that He hears you because He does.  There are many situations in life that we get in to albeit our own doing, or just life happens.  There are burdens that are too heavy for us to carry.  We weren't meant to carry them and when we do they sometimes double us over from the load.  Bring it to the cross.  Talk to Jesus.  He wants you to.  Pour out your heart and when you do, you will feel lighter. 

We aren't that floating leaf randomly blowing with the wind. We have a purpose and a reason for being here.  We can't go backwards and sometimes forward feels like we are walking in heavy muck. But if we pray from our hearts - sincere conversations with God, we can trust that as it says:

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." (Psalms 30:5)

God allows certain situations to occur in our lives to draw us closer to Him and help us to realize that we need Him.  We do.  So lean on the Lord.

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5)

Isn't it about time you stopped trying to work things out on your own? You have someone who cares about you.  He's waiting... Just try it and see.  Try it and you'll see. Open up your mouth and talk to Him as if He was just sitting right there before you (because He is). Pour out your heart - your concerns, your thoughts, your frusturations, the things that you are anxious over. He's listening.  He cares.  If He didn't care He would not have allowed them to put Him up on that cross and crucify Him for your sins - and mine.  He did it because He LOVES you.  He cares.  Believe it and take the time to go some place quiet and have a discussion with Him.  It won't be a one sided conversation.  If you pour out your heart to Him, He will respond.  One way will be that you will feel the removal of that burden from your shoulders just by taking the time to talk to Him.  To pour out your heart.  It may feel silly at first - but once you open your mouth and speak the words will pour out and afterwards, you will feel a peace like a healing balm that will come upon you. (That is the Holy Spirit).  He will minister to you.  He will soothe you.  You will feel what the Bible says is "the peace that passes ALL understanding." (Psalms 4:7).  He loves you, He cares, He wants to have a relationship with you.  A relationship requires communication.  Communication requires allowing Him to see what is in your heart and mind.  The truth is He already knows - but He'd like to hear it from you JUST the same.  TRY IT.  He's waiting, He wants you to - and the truth is - You need to.  I need to, too.