And So Another Chapter Nears its End... The Chapter NOT the Story...

Have you ever had a "wow" moment? You know - one of those unexpected times in your life where you are really touched? Let me explain...

I'm nearing the end of radiation treatment. Started out with having 33 and am now down to 4. Four more to go and I'm finally done with treatment. Wow. It's been a long stretch...

My life changed late last June... Having been diagnosed with Early Stage Triple Negative breast cancer I had no idea I was in for the ride of my life... Thankfully I caught it early - but it was the start of a journey I never dreamed I would be a part of. (But then again who does?)

I attended a "Look Good Feel Beautiful" Class held by the American Cancer Association (one I highly recommend).  I went the day before my lumpectomy surgery was scheduled.  There I was, one of only three women attending a session on how you could make yourself look good - hence, feel good while undergoing treatment.  I was the youngest woman there, there was a woman from England (Dana-Farber is world wide reknown with women from all walks of life coming for treatment).  There was a woman from China there and then there was me.  These women had obviously gone through surgery, and chemotherapy as they were completely bald and without eyelashes.  I felt a little awkward being the only one there who hadn't begun.  But they were so kind.  Looking at me compassionately and encouraging ME. Telling me I was going to do fine!  There I sat with my curls down my shoulders, everything on me intact and THEY were encouraging ME.  One of the leaders of the Class reached into her purse and handed me an embroidered cross that someone had made. Encouraging me and letting me know that God was with me. (The picture is below):

An embroidered cross given to me at the start of my breast cancer journey...

I've carried it around with me for the last 7 months in my purse. Looking at it as a reminder of Who I belong to. Who is the Author and Finisher of my faith - no matter what spiritual stage I am at in my life.

Seven months later, I'm at the end of my treatment journey. Only four more radiation treatments to go.  There I am in my hospital gown, sitting in the waiting room with four other women also waiting to go through their daily radiation treatment. We've gotten to know each other a bit. There are those that are there for different types of cancer treatment - not all are there for breast cancer.  An older woman sits with her daughter - I've seen them coming in for about two weeks now.  They are Cape Verdean (Portuguese) like me. Only my family is American Cape Verdean.  The mother must be in her eighties.  Doesn't speak any english.  Her neck is all red from radiation.  She smiles warmly at each of us every time she comes in.  Her daughter, grown obviously taking her there each day does speak English.  Her mother is there for esophageal cancer.  She is undergoing radiation.  Today is her last day.  We all rejoice with her mom.  There is a bond that only those of us who know what she has been through share.  I get choked up.  I congratulate her and in true  Portuguese fashion give her a warm and gentle hug.  Her daughter and I exchange contact information and then her daughter reaches into her purse, and hands me something so precious and beautiful it brought tears to my eyes.  You see, she lives in Oklahoma. She hands me this beautiful detailed rock that is in the shape of a rose. I look at it astonished. It's beautiful. She hands me a little card with the rose shaped rock that reads like this:

Barite Rose

Official State Rock of Oklahoma

"The rose-like appearance is due to the intergrowth of barite crystals (barium sulfate) formed during the Permian Age of geologic history (250 million years ago).  The rose-like concretions incorporate the iron-stained quartz sand grains giving the "roses" a reddish hue."

This is what she gave me (I took the picture with my cell phone - notice the intricate details on the rock).

Barite Rose Rock
Official State Rock of Oklahoma

Look how beautiful it is? Look at the detail etched into it - not by man but by God!  If God cares so much about the detail of a little stone - how much more so does he care about the details of our lives? I don't feel as though the gesture of her giving this to me, was of her but of God.  I needed to feel special again. I needed to know that I know that I know that God loves me. That He cares. It seems real appropriate that in ending my journey - I'm reminded of what I've already known.  That the steps of the righteous are ordained by God.  That It rains on the just and the unjust.  That God is the Author and Finisher of my faith - and that while I am ending treatment - I am not ending learning.  I look back on these 7 months and I see all the changes that I have undergone.  I had begun to take life for granted.  I had been sad and depressed for the last three years of my life.  And in some way - perhaps I had become "full of myself."  The woman I am today - knows what I THOUGHT I had known already - but really hadn't - how precious life is.  That each and every day is a gift.  That I'm stronger than I thought I was. That I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.  That even when I feel like I am alone - I'm NOT.

So this journey - this chapter in my life is almost over. It has changed me. It has made me a better person. It has brought people into my life that I never would have had a chance to meet - had I not gone through breast cancer. But a new one is getting ready to begin... I don't know what it holds for me but I know who it is WHO is holding ME.  And that to me - is the most wonderous thing of all.  Just as I held this precious tiny little rose rock in my hand, I realize that my Father holds ME in the palm of His hands.  Ready Father? Here we goooo...