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| It's right there in black and white - the best love story ever.... |
I posted a question on my FB that really made me think this morning... The question was "If you became stranded on an island, what would you bring?" And why is it that no one ever thinks of saying - "A boat?" (LOL) How obvious an answer is that? Yet I've not heard that answer before... Its as plain as the nose on a face. Then I started thinking about why? Maybe its because we don't "want" to get off that island? Maybe its because we don't "think" we deserve to get off that island? Maybe its because we are "hiding" from everyone else or we isolate ourselves? It got me thinking... What if there is something "better" than that Island - yet we don't consider that?? Hmmmmmm....
I'm going in a direction I never saw myself going. Although my life has changed so drastically, I'm in a total foreign circumstance. Learning as I go. Putting things behind me and trying my best to move forward. There is one thing that I DO know, and that is that God has called me to write. It's something that he told me 20 years ago but I never believed in myself (or in Him using me?) enough to be obedient enough to do it... Imagine if the Apostles had done that? Not allowed God to use them? Where would we be now? Hmmmm....
I've also been thinking about how we don't see the "full' picture. Maybe sometimes God has to do things to capture our attention? We don't always listen or perhaps "hear" Him. Maybe He is at a point in some of our lives where He's now waving his hands over His head, or taking two fingers into his mouth whistling "Hey Kelly! Over here!!!" Did you ever think about that? I have to believe that the things that happen to us in this life - happen for reasons we don't know, or can't fully understand. I have to believe that in the long run - it works out to God's good. Even when we are having a "Huh? Are you kidding me?!!" moment.
There are times in my life (especially recently) where I haven't felt God's arms around me. Holding me tight. Now I know we are not "suppose" to go by "feelings." But that is a meter like a thermometer of what we are thinking... I've been so wrapped up in the situation(s) or problems, or trying to figure it out on my own not realizing that perhaps I don't have the "knowledge" or the "tools" to do it myself, no matter how hard I try. Somethings we just have to "Let go and Let God." And I think maybe, that is what He wants us to do. I'm not saying that this can't be painful. It's hard to release things to Him. Fully let go. Fully trust. I don't know about you, but sometimes for me - its that I don't "believe" God will love me enough to help me through it. (How ridiculous is THAT when He sent His son to die on the cross for forgiveness of my sins??!) My little petty problems that are so big to me are NOTHING to our Creator.
Here is an example - I was hoping and praying for something this week. I wanted it soooo badly. I was depending on it. I even had my sisters and brothers in Christ praying about it for me. I never got an answer - even at the due date that had been the deadline. I was majorly disappointed. But then I got a call from someone about something else. Something so huge it was better than I ever imagined. And it got me thinking - maybe what we think is our "best" is not our best at all. Maybe God wants to bless us MORE abundantly than we can imagine?! Imagine that?!!! I have a pretty big imagination. So that is hard to fathom! (LOL). I think we often forget how MUCH He loves us. He came so that we could have life and have it MORE abundantly! (Ephesians 4:20) Why don't we believe that?
If you are a parent - don't you want to bless YOUR child more abundantly than you had as a kid? You do your best to provide and give them every privilege they can have. What makes us think that our Heavenly Father is any different? I think sometimes we are not open to receive. We think we are "unworthy" (and we are) but the fact is - It is not by power, not by might but by HIS Spirit. (Zech 4:6)
For the first time in a long time - I feel God's presence moving me, gently - like he is touching my shoulder and turning me around. Is that happening to you? Are you aware of it if it is? Like He is gently saying, "This way my daughter, its time to turn around. I've watched you struggle, I've stood back and watched you get lost going your own way. But YOU belong to ME. I have called you by name. YOU are MINE." That is what I'm hearing and even in my Prodigal state - His turning my shoulder is that of a parent who will not take no for an answer. How does He do that? He changes the desires of your heart. What was once appealing - is no longer. I think in the 23 years I've been saved the most powerful times. The times that I have truly known that a relationship with God is a personal one-on-one thing is the times where He has made me "change my mind." Like when you once liked something, and all of a sudden you don't have a taste for it anymore. Or maybe He shows you - you wanted this. Are you SURE about that? Let me give you a wake up call so that you can see that perhaps what you thought you wanted, isn't what you think it is." And then He takes the scales off your eyes and you see.... "Wow... That isn't what I thought I wanted." How could I not see it?? And then you start praising Him because He is full of grace and patience and love to see you through whatever the situation is and then gently turns your shoulder to make you go down the pathway He has for you.
I'm not saying this is an easy thing. I'm not saying its not one that doesn't take time. But maybe what God has for us, is so much greater than what WE had planned for OURSELVES??? And maybe - just maybe we need to trust Him a little more to believe that He has our best interests in mind? Even when we don't think He loves us enough (because perhaps we haven't loved ourselves enough?). How can we not trust a God who says "He holds us in the palm of His hands??" (John 20:24-48). How gentle is that? Isn't that the best place to be? That's where I long to be. How about you? Maybe there is SOOO much more then we can imagine there is for us. Maybe we should give Him a chance to reveal it. I'm going to. How 'bout you?
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