Don't Put Your Muck in My Backyard...

There is a song that we use to sing as campers, at my Camp - Camp Foss. The words of the song went like this:
"Don't put your muck in my backyard, my back yard, my back yard, Don't put your muck in my back yard, my back yard's full..."


It was just a fun song that we use to sing - how strange is it that that seems to be the mentality of today? Everyone is concerned with themselves more than they are concerned with their neighbors?  What would happen to the world if everyone had that "Me! Me! Me!" mentality?

I had an eye opening conversation with a 21 year old boy this weekend - and I say "boy" because that was the mentality he had.  It was my father's birthday, I should mention that my father passed away 9 years ago... However, I have this tradition of honoring the memory of him by buying flowers, and a balloon and taking them to the cemetery.   Now I know my dad is in a "better place" but it makes ME feel good to be able to honor him this way.  I know this may be a bit childlike - but I like to walk over to his stone, talk to him a bit about life and what's going on and then, kiss the balloon, hold it close for a moment - sing Happy Birthday and then - release it, off into the air.  Here is the childlike faith part -part of me believes that God allows this balloon right into Heaven where my father is.  I watch it take off and go as far as it can possibly go until its out of sight....

Well, there I was in Stop & Shop, I had the balloon picked out and was waiting for the sales guy (him) to blow it up with helium for me.  As he was unpacking the mylar from its wrapping he noticed the balloon said, "Happy Birthday Dad" and he asked me if I was going to a birthday party for my father.  I told him that the balloon was in memory of my father, that I was honoring him and how.  He blinked, looked at me and said, "Don't."

Raising an eyebrow, I looked back at him and said, "I beg your pardon?"

He looked at me and said, "Why are you doing that? How long has your father been gone?"

I met his look with a stern one of my own, trying to hold back my temper.  "He's been gone for nine years now, but it still feels like yesterday."

He looked at me surprised and said, "You should just forget about him."

I was now offended.  I looked down my nose at him, feeling "old" for the first time.  "That is simply ridiculous.  You don't just "forget" your parents.  I'll never forget my father.  How old are you?" I asked him.

He looked surprised.  "I'm 21," He said.

"Well that is still awfully young." I said condescendingly.  "One day you'll understand.  If your parents passed away you would know how terribly hard it would be to just "forget them."

"No it wouldn't." He said.  "I always remember my mother."

"Probably when you want something..." I said under my breath.  He must of heard me...

"Yes, that is exactly when I remember her." He said.

I looked back at him surprised by his audacity.  He really meant what he said.

Now I don't know what his life "situation" has been with his parents, but from the calm manner he presented he came off as a brat.

"One day your parents aren't going to be here and you will miss them - even if right now you think you won't." I said to him with an air of someone who is "ohhh so much older and wiser than he. You don't realize it now because you haven't gone through it yourself.  I suggest when you get off work and go home you hug your mother tightly because not one of us is promised tomorrow."

"When my mother passes away," He said looking me straight in the eye. "As close as we are, I will forget about her."

I threw him a look of genuine disgust and pity.  "Thank you for blowing up the balloon for me." I said, and I walked away.

I felt extremely bad for his mother. For his parents.  I think about all I try to do (and have done) for my children and I hope at the very, very least if I should pass away that they would never choose to forget me.  To me that would be the ultimate heart breaker.

I also could not help but think about the scripture that talks about the "sign of times." It almost made the hair on my arms rise up with the matter of fact manner he seemed to be able to say, "when they are gone - forget them."

2nd Timothy 3:2 describes it this way:  "People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,"


Is that what we have come down to? Not a day goes by that I do not miss my father.  We had an imperfect relationship, but I loved him, there were times I did not like him - but I always, always loved him.  You do not realize how short life is until you have faced it yourself.  Until you have lost a parent and you would give your "right arm" just to be able to hug them one more time and say thank you.

Being a breast cancer survivor, one who caught it early - I've been given a second chance at life.  It changes your perspective.  When you are young, you don't realize that it doesn't necessarily mean that bad things are going to wait until you are old to happen.  Guess what? They happen to young people too.  I should know - I'm not that old.  Compassion, love and respect are things that should happen TODAY.  We've all heard the saying "Don't put off tomorrow what you could do today?" (I think that is right... but if not, you know what I mean.)  Don't wait to say your "I love you's" now.  You may regret it tomorrow....

And there aren't enough balloons in the whole world to make that sorrow go away...