Maybe...

“Maybe you could sit beside me? Listen...It has taken me a long time to hear it. If you listen closely, maybe you will hear it too...”


“Maybe in the beginning, I bowed to it, and then with amusement, begun to dance with a dramatic spring in my step, an exaggerated dose-do.”

“Maybe it promenaded me with its notes. It cajoled me and seduced, captured my attention and made me want to chase after it. I never felt fear – only fascination. It held my hand like a familiar partner, our fingers entwined and I allowed it to lead me from experience to experience. Learning all the while…”

“Maybe I’d become so comfortable; I’d taken it for granted, expected it to repeat itself over and over again. Like a person who has worn a perfume or cologne for a number of years, and become de-sensitized to the scent, it became part of the fabric of my life. The verses consisted of “routine, habit, and comfort.” Lulled me and became repetitive to the point where maybe I felt entitled.”

“Maybe that is when it happened… Just when I felt entitled, the tune changed. To one I didn’t recognize. The tempo changed and the steps became too fast. The partner holding my hand was a strange one, harsh and cruel. Spinning me around and around till all that was familiar was a blur.”

“Maybe the hand that spun me gripped my fingers in an icy grip so tight it hurt. And I just wanted it to stop. Just TO STOP. But the rhythm had become one I didn’t recognize and at times was so loud I thought my ears would never stop ringing. And I didn’t recognize the steps. And I stumbled over and over again. Feeling lost. Feeling afraid. Feeling alone.”

“Maybe, when the spinning stopped, I no longer recognized my surroundings. I no longer recognized myself… Maybe that is when I began taking pictures… Of myself. To prove to me who “me” was. That I was still “me. The “me” I had always been… The “Me” I am still…”

“Maybe, that is when I felt a new partner take my hand, with a sisterly kind of touch, matching me step by step. Gentle soothing fingers held mine; the notes became lullaby - Taking away the sting of those preceding it and allowing me to work through the steps, responding to every stumble with a firm reassuring grip. Not allowing me to falter. Each step giving me renewed confidence that assured me I was not alone.”

“Maybe, the scenery has changed. But it’s okay. I’m okay…Can you hear it? Listen…. The notes are different now or perhaps they are not… Perhaps it is ME who has changed. I recognize the melody, it's my life song.  It's far from over and if you've listened carefully you've heard the high points and the lows... But there are so many more "highs" then lows.  It has been written by the greatest composer of all.  And while I don't know the ending He does.  He is the conductor of my soul. The Author and Finisher of my faith - the Alpha and the Omega. This song, it was written just for me and while I may not know the next verse - I know the Author of the song and maybe - JUST maybe that is good enough."