I always tend to
get a bit sentimental with the ending of a year… I look back at all that has
occurred, the things that I have learned and try to decide what it is I’m going
to take with me into the New Year and what it is I’m going to discard. I find myself feeling a bit anxious of the
unexpected, knowing fully well that I have no control over the future, but that
God tells me in His Word, “The number of
my days He will fulfill.” (Exodus 23:26)
Sometimes I get
this this “Alice in Wonderland” feeling – the sense that I have fallen down an
unexpected hole and entered into a world that I am uncertain and unfamiliar of…
Our world has changed so much. Common
sense and common courtesy are things of the past. Maybe it’s just that I’m getting older… Naaaaah
that’s not it, I truly believe we are living in the last days; right has become
wrong, wrong has become right, anything goes.
I think if it wasn’t for my faith and dependence on God that I would
probably have lost my absolute mind. I
don’t know those who don’t know Christ as their Lord and Savior are keeping
their sanity; the world has become such a scary place to live.
Sometimes I feel
like life has become like the game, “musical chairs” do you remember playing
that as a kid? Where you walk around and around as the music of your life is
playing and you quickly have to grab a chair before all the chairs are occupied
and you are left standing… Or like the game “The Wonder ball” do you remember
that? The song went:
“The wonder ball goes round and round, to
pass it quickly you are bound, if you’re the one to hold it last the game for
you has quickly passed and you are out – O-U-T out!”
I suppose those
are the times when we should be praying more diligently for direction, as that
clearly shows worry and anxiety which is not of God, yet in this day and age I
think many people would truly admit that life often feels like one of those
games. What do you do when you feel
anxious? When you feel totally out of control?
When up seems down and down seems up? How do you pull yourself together?
What are you planning on taking with you into the New Year and discarding from
this year? And you have to be careful here, especially if you are an
ex-prodigal because we tend to be our own worst critics. We’ve become super overly sensitive to what
needs to be worked upon within our own lives.
Remember to give yourself credit for the things that you have changed
and grown upon, I believe that as long as we have breath in our bodies we will
always be learning and changing (hopefully for the better).
What have I
learned from 2015? I’m going to be real
transparent here, because it’s important that we be honest with ourselves. We
cannot hide from God – He sees it ALL. I
truly never understood why Adam and Eve tried to hide from a God who is
omnipotent. I choose not to fool myself
and do the same, I am honest with God about my short comings because I know He
knows them anyways! No point in trying to hide them!
For myself – I have
discovered that with surviving cancer, I
have developed a fear for living… A fear of the unexpected, a fear that I will
miss ALL that God has for me because I tend to hesitate and question each step
I take. I guess in being an ex-prodigal
I’m afraid to make mistakes. I’ve become less confident with my own
choices. I question myself more. There are still parts of me that feel
rebellious, that need healing. What does
this indicate if I am to be completely honest about it? It indicates that I have a lack of trust in
God (ouch). There is clearly some
spiritual healing that needs to occur in my life. I can be honest and admit that. I have to allow myself to be open to it. I need to trust God more. I need to believe that God has my best
interests at heart. There are things that have happened in my life that make
this difficult for me. It is an area of
growth that I need to examine and pray more fully about. It’s even hard for me
to type those words on paper, but it is the truth and it is something that God
and I need to work together on in the year to come.
Now take a hard
good look at yourself… You don’t have to admit it to anyone else – only to
yourself. What do YOU need to work on
within you??? I’m not talking “New Year’s
resolution” those tend to peeter out three weeks into the New Year. I’m talking, in looking back at this past
year – what have you learned? And what are you going to do about it?
What has God
shown me in 2015? He has shown me that His best for me is better than anything
I could have picked out for myself. That
truly sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone to find what we are
looking for – and what God has for us.
In venturing beyond my own back yard, stepping out in faith I have
walked into a love I never knew could exist.
One that is beyond my wildest imagination; One that could only come from God. Is it scary? Of course! Anything that makes you vulnerable is scary,
especially when your heart is on the line – but here is the thing, you’ve heard
the saying, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained?” If you live a life behind walls
and full of fear at the many uncertainties of life, you miss out on some of the
BEST parts of life. God’s word says:
“That
He came so that you could live life ABUNDANTLY.” (John 10:10).
But here is the thing – unless you step out
and receive that abundancy, you won’t have it.
It is a gift. A gift that is only
good IF you receive it. Are you
receiving it??? Maybe one of the things you need to work on in the New Year is
receiving… Believing that God has GOOD things in store for you, the Bible also
says:
“If you then though you are evil, know
how to give good things to your children, how MUCH more so will your Father in
Heaven give good gifts to those that ask Him?” (Matthew 7:11)
Often times we
don’t believe that God wants to bless us.
We believe He blesses others – but when it comes to our own selves, we
have trouble believing.
God has a plan
for our lives, what we need to do is discover what that plan is (through
prayer) and then step out in faith and walk in it! But here is the thing – we have to take a
step! He’s not going to make you – He is
going to direct you, He is going to encourage you but YOU have to step out and
actually take that step to walk in it.
It is scary, but at the same time there is no greater feeling than being
in the center of God’s will. Sometimes
we are our own road blocks in being there.
We need to push our OWN selves out of the way! Sometimes we are the ones
who are blocking our own blessings because of uncertainty, because of fear,
because we don’t know how to receive.
Are these things you need to work on in the New Year?
As we end this
year and begin another, I pray that you (and I) will look back on the previous
year, thank God for it and also consider what God is doing in your life. This will take a quietness of your spirit to
be still and consider all the good lessons and bad that you have experienced. Spiritual growing pains never go away – and that
is a good thing because it means that we are sensitive to the Holy Spirit and
working towards whatever it is that God wants you to become. And you can bet that the plan He has for your
life is better than anything you could plan yourself. Trust Him.
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