Maybe...

“Maybe you could sit beside me? Listen...It has taken me a long time to hear it. If you listen closely, maybe you will hear it too...”


“Maybe in the beginning, I bowed to it, and then with amusement, begun to dance with a dramatic spring in my step, an exaggerated dose-do.”

“Maybe it promenaded me with its notes. It cajoled me and seduced, captured my attention and made me want to chase after it. I never felt fear – only fascination. It held my hand like a familiar partner, our fingers entwined and I allowed it to lead me from experience to experience. Learning all the while…”

“Maybe I’d become so comfortable; I’d taken it for granted, expected it to repeat itself over and over again. Like a person who has worn a perfume or cologne for a number of years, and become de-sensitized to the scent, it became part of the fabric of my life. The verses consisted of “routine, habit, and comfort.” Lulled me and became repetitive to the point where maybe I felt entitled.”

“Maybe that is when it happened… Just when I felt entitled, the tune changed. To one I didn’t recognize. The tempo changed and the steps became too fast. The partner holding my hand was a strange one, harsh and cruel. Spinning me around and around till all that was familiar was a blur.”

“Maybe the hand that spun me gripped my fingers in an icy grip so tight it hurt. And I just wanted it to stop. Just TO STOP. But the rhythm had become one I didn’t recognize and at times was so loud I thought my ears would never stop ringing. And I didn’t recognize the steps. And I stumbled over and over again. Feeling lost. Feeling afraid. Feeling alone.”

“Maybe, when the spinning stopped, I no longer recognized my surroundings. I no longer recognized myself… Maybe that is when I began taking pictures… Of myself. To prove to me who “me” was. That I was still “me. The “me” I had always been… The “Me” I am still…”

“Maybe, that is when I felt a new partner take my hand, with a sisterly kind of touch, matching me step by step. Gentle soothing fingers held mine; the notes became lullaby - Taking away the sting of those preceding it and allowing me to work through the steps, responding to every stumble with a firm reassuring grip. Not allowing me to falter. Each step giving me renewed confidence that assured me I was not alone.”

“Maybe, the scenery has changed. But it’s okay. I’m okay…Can you hear it? Listen…. The notes are different now or perhaps they are not… Perhaps it is ME who has changed. I recognize the melody, it's my life song.  It's far from over and if you've listened carefully you've heard the high points and the lows... But there are so many more "highs" then lows.  It has been written by the greatest composer of all.  And while I don't know the ending He does.  He is the conductor of my soul. The Author and Finisher of my faith - the Alpha and the Omega. This song, it was written just for me and while I may not know the next verse - I know the Author of the song and maybe - JUST maybe that is good enough."

What's Cooking? Do You Feel Like it's You?

Have you ever heard the story of Shadrach, Meshack & Abednego? Three very BRAVE men who found themselves in one extremely HOT situation; (not of their own choosing)… How many of us have felt the heat of a situation similar (perhaps in a smaller measure) as that below, and managed to keep our calm and wits about us? The story is taken from the book of Daniel, Chapter 3. There truly is nothing new under the sun that presents itself to us in life. The circumstances may be different, but the pressure of the “cooking pot” of life is STILL the same. Our deliverance, salvation, hope, stability, love – all come from God. When our eyes are focused upon Him, He is the balm that can keep us when otherwise “our goose would be cooked.” We can be confident that although things continuously surprise us – that NOTHING surprises HIM.


Don’t allow the heat of a situation to make you be the main ingredient in a simmering pot. We have to remind ourselves that the victory HAS ALREADY BEEN WON.

He didn’t promise life would be easy…. But He did promise He would never leave nor forsake us through it. Sometimes that’s the only thing we can hold on to. But it shouldn’t be considered an “only” it is what we need. And who knows that any better than “our Creator?” Read Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego’s story as told in Daniel Chapter three below – and think about your own life and let God minister to you right where you are at. His word is the same today, as it was yesterday, as it will be tomorrow.

Daniel Chapter Three

3 King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, sixty cubits high and six cubits wide,[a] and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. 2 He then summoned the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials to come to the dedication of the image he had set up. 3 So the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials assembled for the dedication of the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up, and they stood before it.

4 Then the herald loudly proclaimed, “Nations and peoples of every language, this is what you are commanded to do: 5 As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. 6 Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace.”

7 Therefore, as soon as they heard the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp and all kinds of music, all the nations and peoples of every language fell down and worshiped the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.

8 At this time some astrologers[b] came forward and denounced the Jews. 9 They said to King Nebuchadnezzar, “May the king live forever! 10 Your Majesty has issued a decree that everyone who hears the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music must fall down and worship the image of gold, 11 and that whoever does not fall down and worship will be thrown into a blazing furnace. 12 But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, Your Majesty. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up.”

13 Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, 14 and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15 Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?”

16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us[c] from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

19 Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual 20 and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. 21 So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. 22 The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, 23 and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.

24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?”

They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.”

25 He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.”

26 Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!”

So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. 29 Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way.”

30 Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the province of Babylon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I think of the above story, I think about my own life situations.  How "well" or "not so well" I have handled them.  What I learned from them.  As long as we have breath in our bodies we will continue to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.  There is no shame in that... I think we us to call them - "growing pains."

Know to WHOM You Belong...

Feel like You are Fighting a Losing Battle? Just remember Who it is who wrote the rules of the game. That is when you have the authority and power to confidently yell out, "Checkmate!"

If someone were to ask me to sum up what I think would be the most important piece of wisdom I could give, all in one sentence, I would say, "Know to Whom you belong..."

When you Know that you belong to HIM then even in the midst of a battle - you can rest assured that He's got your back.

Sometimes that may be the only peace you have.  Know who has your back.

How did David do it? He knew who had his back.  He knew that he could not fight Goliath on his own strength.  He trusted NOT in himself. But in God. One small man, one big situation.  I'm quite sure he was shaking in his boots - but when he refocused on his situation - he realized that GOD WAS IN CONTROL.  That the battle wasn't his...  

We still have "Goliath moments in our lives."  What should we do with them? Know to Whom you belong...

When God told Noah to build a boat - society laughed at him.  They called him insane.  They mocked him and called him crazy.  I'm sure that had to be a hard thing for Noah to live through.  These were people that had been around him all the days of his life.  But still in the midst of the criticism and in the mocking and I'm quite sure the ostracizing.  Noah stood his ground and DID what it was God told him to do.  He knew WHO he belonged to.

Esther had to go before her husband, the king without having being bidden to do so - the lives and the fate of her people, the Jews rested upon her shoulders. And STILL she went forward.  Why? SHE KNEW WHO SHE BELONGED TO.

Jesus Himself was mocked and falsely accused and falsely judged by the very people He had come to love, to heal, to save.  And YET even HE who could have called down legions upon legions of angels to smite his accusers stayed focused.  Because He knew WHO He was.

All of the above are Biblical examples that prove that things haven't changed AT ALL. So when we find ourselves in situations where we are falsely accused, judged or bullied. We need to bring it to the Father and we need to remember to Whom we belong.

Situations happen that may knock us to the ground.  And there may be times when we feel down for the count.  Where we think - "I can't take it anymore Father. This time I'm down for the count."  Perhaps that is when we feel His arms picking us up from the floor.  Setting us on our feet. Helping us to recognize that the battle is NOT ours - but HIS.  And EVEN if YOU are in a PRODIGAL STATE - and perhaps you are thinking, "maybe on some level I deserve this."  You should know and remember that it is nothing BUT God's grace, His mercy and His love - and THAT alone which saves us.  It is nothing you earn, or do or makes you "good enough" - it is totally by the shed blood of Jesus Christ that has made a way.  You don't "earn" salvation.  

Isaiah 64:6 says, "Our righteous are like filthy rags."

So don't let the enemy beat you down with "you deserve this, look at you - you are not good enough and God has forsaken you."  Isn't that what he tried to tell Jesus when Jesus was having a desert experience? (in Luke  4:1-13). He combated it with the Word of God and that is what WE need to do. Know to Whom you belong.

In 1 Peter 4:12  Peter writes, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you, but rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."

In other words, Know to Whom you belong.

Sometimes that may feel as that is the ONLY thing you can cling on to.  But it is the MOST important thing. I think when we realize that the battle is not ours. That perhaps that is when we see the true power of God come forth.  Because He knows who YOU belong to. And even MORE than that the price that was paid was the highest price that COULD be paid.  And it wasn't even one that YOU paid yourself.

Thank you Father for Your grace, Your forgiveness, Your mercy, Your love.  Help me to remember WHO I belong to for I know I am not my own. I know that when I feel as if life is out of control, when I have run out of answers I can remember Who it is I belong to and I can turn to You.  And I can trust that as you have promised me, "All things work for the good of those who love the Lord." (Romans 8:28). As was the case with David, Noah, Esther and so many others - including and most importantly Jesus, I can rest assured that YOU are in control.  So for that I will praise and thank you and I will pick myself, dust myself off, step out of the way and allow you to step into the situation and show that the battle is YOURS.  Thank you Lord that in you I stand victorious.  Because I recognize to Whom it is I belong.

In Jesus precious name I thank YOU.

AMEN

Are You Becoming Contagious?

Wherever you are in life - don't let the weeds of worry choke out the joy. Rise above it and allow yourself to bloom and be a blessing. Roses have their thorns but they are NOT their thorns. Lift your face up to the SON and allow yourself to blossom in the manner He created you to. Once you do, you will experience in the midst of whatever storm you are in what it means to have "the peace that passes ALL understanding." It is a daily doing - one that we must practice until it becomes a habit. I'm ready, are you?

Worry, WoRrY, W O R  R Y, WORRY!  Ever notice how worries reproduce themselves in your head?  Maybe you start out with just one teeny weeny concern that leads to another and another and another until they begin to drown out all the good things in your life.  Until they consume you.  Until you can't think about anything else except your next concern.

It can become habitual!  Worries spread!  Worries are contagious!  They can infest your head until they become so big that they are no longer little "nitpick" thoughts but big ol' anxieties that make it difficult for you to even see past them anymore.

For the last few weeks, I have found myself waking up early in the morning with a worry in my head. Believe me when I say it is *not* a fun way to start the day.  This morning, I woke up with a worry - and I decided. NO MORE.  I am not waking up like this ANYMORE.  The best way I know to combat things that I feel I have no control over and am "worried" about is to PRAY.  So today I woke up declaring the Lord's Prayer.

 "This is the day the Lord has made I WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!!!"

When I said it - it was more like I was commanding myself.  I WILL!  If I have to wrestle a worry to the ground and roll around and straddle it and contain it - I WILL!  As I lay there having this wrestling match with this worry - I got to thinking about Jesus.  The thing I love so much about the Bible is that it is the "living" word.  It may have been written in the past - but it is very much present and useful for today.  The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 1:9  "There is nothing new under the sun."

I'm quite sure the things I worry about are things that other people worry about. And here is the thing about worry - sometimes we spend so much time worrying we spend less time concentrating on what we can do to alleviate the worry.  We give "glory" to the worry!  Have you ever noticed that most of the things that we "worry" about don't even come to pass? Worrying can become an addiction! -And I decided, that that is one club I refuse to become a member of!
Problems are real.  Situations are real. Concerns are real.  I am not "belittling" them- they are all parts of life.  We acknowledge them for what they are, we do our best to work through them and we PRAY about them (put each one into God's more than capable hand) and we learn to release them.  We recognize that there are things that are out of our control. We work on the things we can resolve, we seek help over the things we cannot figure out how to resolve on our own - and we try to have the wisdom to recognize the difference between to the two.  There is a very well known prayer called "The Serenity Prayer."  It goes like this:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

the courage to change the things I can;

and the wisdom to know the difference."

We all have weaknesses and strengths.  Certain "worries" may  be the results of areas that God is trying to strengthen or teach us.  Skills we need to learn (for instance for me - it is the area of finance). Things we need to work on to better ourselves.  Those things take time.  In a microwave society - such as we live in, we can be impatient especially with ourselves.  Our impatience can expand our worries like someone blowing up a balloon.  Think about it... The worry is a tiny little balloon, but as we put more worry and thought and energy into it, as we get anxious that little flat balloon gathers air in it and gets bigger and bigger and BIGGER and BIGGER!  Until it fills every corner of our life - pushing out all the good things that are there.  There becomes no more room for anything other than that "worry."

I don't want to live like that - do you? I don't want to look back on my life and think, "yep - I lived from worry to worry..." Because guess what??? Problems ARE a part of life.  But they SHOULDN'T BE the main dish!  When I woke up this morning, I realized I've been living worry to worry!  Crossing off worries from my list and moving on to the next one!  Are you doing the same?  It's time to stop.  It's time to take the power back from your worries. And contrary to popular belief a person who is an optimist CAN still be a worrier!

I got to thinking about Jesus' life.  He is suppose to be our example, right? So maybe His life is a good thing to examine.  Here is someone who was born with a calling like NO OTHER.  From day ONE. If anyone had caused to worry - Jesus did.  People were trying to kill Him from the day He was born! Yet from what my Bible tells me - He was filled with peace. He is referred to in the Bible as the ""Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6)  If anyone had cause to worry - Jesus did!  But time and time again He would look at people (with wonder it seems) and ask them:

"Why do you worry? Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life. What you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food? And the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they? Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" (Matthew 6:25-34)

What did Jesus do when He was concerned? His concerns were unselfish - they were about others and not about Himself.  Yet, when He came to the garden of Gethsemane and the worry of the cross weighed Him down - He didn't "sit there worrying." HE PRAYED.  Jesus knew that regardless of what He faced, His Father's will would be done. He was born for a reason. WE were BORN for a reason. As I thought about Jesus, I thought about how He had a purpose.  His life had real concerns. But I can almost bet that Jesus took pleasure and joy in the things in His life too.  He went to weddings, He ate at people's houses.  He played with children. I can bet you that Jesus found enjoyment in life. He never lost focus He kept His eyes on the path before Him. 
He walked in grace, mercy and love. Maybe He's telling US we need to do the same.
This day I am *choosing* not to walk my life in a thick mire of problems and worries - I'm not going to give them any more power than I already have.  I will acknowledge them, and do the best I can to work through them  - but I will NOT allow them to rise up like weeds, wrap their cords around me and choke the enjoyment of life out of me.  I won't let them be my focus on living anymore.

How about YOU?  Will you look back on your life and see it in terms of what you worried about? Or will you look back at your life and see all the sweetness of the things that made life worth living? And all the lessons that you learned because of it?

Don't sit there worrying about - give it to God. Release it. Pray about it. Realize that you are only ONE person. You are human.  There is very little that we have control over in our lives. A lot of our worries are over those that we love. Recognize that as much as YOU love that person - that God loves them more. He created them!  He really does! Give that child that husband that wife that situation to GOD.  He is much more capable of taking care of it than YOU are.  Trust Him.  He has your best interest at heart (and also their's. Here is something for you to remember - you can't out love God!)  Also, remember that sometimes God allows situations to come into our lives to mold us into what He wants us to become.  It's not meant to destroy us.  It's meant to help us grow.  Sometimes our problem is that we fight Him every step of the way.  Like a child dragging their feet as they go. Maybe our situation is one that He is telling us to trust more in Him.  He is our Heavenly Father - remember that we only see in part - but HE sees in full.  He knows SO much more than our little minds do.  We need to trust Him. As those worries come to our minds we need to recognize them, acknowledge them and give them to the One who knows.

He didn't give us life to live "worry to worry."  Life is suppose to be a gift - not a burden.  It's time to live it as such, don't you think? 

The complexity of YOU

YOU.  Three little letters that make up the most complicated word I know.  YOU.
When I put YOU together with ME it creates the most beautiful song ever. It drowns out my worries, my fears the whole rest of the world fades away. All I see is YOU.

Y

O

U

I've been looking for YOU all my life and I didn't even know it and some how YOU found ME.  The recognition, the satisfaction in just knowing YOU is one that I can continuously marvel at.  The complexity of YOU. The magnificience of YOU.  YOU are my favorite book - the one I keep close to my bed and re-read over and over. Delighting in the story of YOU. The shear pleasure of turning the next page learning more about YOU and anticipating the ending. 

YOU are my favorite work of art.  I can stare at YOU for hours with eyes that never tire. I know YOU by heart.  I can visualize YOU with my eyes closed.  To everyone else YOU may just be an "old"throw away picture. But to me YOU are a work of art.  I know every inch of YOU and stand in awe that in my eyes YOU are the mere essence of perfection - faults and all.

YOU are my favorite song - YOU are a symphony of complicated notes that bring me to the edge and push me over.  A well worn album that I play over and over again and find myself humming in the course of a day. YOU are the song that gets stuck in my head.

YOU are North meets South. YOU  are Tony to my Maria. YOU are Rhett to my Scarlet. YOU are Jake to my Elwood. YOU are Belmont to my Casey. YOU are Wyatt to my Josephine. YOU are Romeo to my Juliet... YOU  are my hero AND my villain all in one. YOU are Chicago to my Boston. YOU are the stars, the moon the sky.

YOU are my favorite well worn Teddy Bear that is missing patches of fur, a left buttoned eye and yet still  sits upon my bed. Full of memories of yester-year.

YOU are my favorite recipe - YOU stir up passion and delight and curiosity and satisfaction all within the same dish.

YOU are a thunderstorm that drives me to the brink of crazy! A stubborn mix of thunder and lightening and blinding rain which brings me to the edges of insanity.

I love YOU.
I want YOU.
 I need YOU. 

When YOU and me come together we become "WE."  Which is even more magnificent than "YOU."

Everyone should have a YOU. But in the complexity of WE. I'm glad its ME.

Do YOU Babel? (Yes I Know - I spelled it incorrectly)

Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
 (Proverbs 25:15)

Did you ever play the game “Telephone” as a child? I remember playing this at camp with friends. We’d form a line, and the leader of the line would turn and whisper into the ear of the person beside her a secret and then that person would whisper it into the ear of the person beside her, and so on and so on until it reached the very last person at the end of the line. The person at the end would then turn to everyone and repeat what she had heard. How interesting it was to see that what had been the original “secret” had become distorted into something that the leader had never said – I always was astonished whenever I was at the beginning of the line to hear what the end results were, and then to clarify what the actual secret had been. It was funny as a child playing a game – as a grown up, not so funny.

Can you imagine what the world was like before the saga with the Tower of Babel? (Genesis 11:1-9). If I recall correctly, the people were trying to build a tower that would reach the Heavens. God did not want this to happen, so He confused their language. Can you imagine the chaos? The shock? The surprise? The confusion? And most of all – the astonishment?! Imagine being next to your life-long friend, “Ida” and all of a sudden you can’t understand a WORD she says???? And the results are misunderstandings, hurt feelings, anger - when perhaps what was said was meant in love?

I think that we have “Babel” moments continue to happen even in this day and age. You can’t perceive how someone else will receive what you say (or write), because people receive out of their own experience, values and even sometimes – pain. Not everyone thinks the same. You have no idea when you say something how it will be “filtered out” into the mind of someone else, no matter how it is said (and the same goes visa versa). So how do we limit our “Babel” moments? I suppose that is a continuous life lesson. I think sensitivity is key, being non-judgmental as each person’s story is different. God looks at the heart. Man can only look at the “outward appearance.” Sometimes listening is sufficient.

Through my experience being a cancer survivor, my insight upon things has drastically changed from bc (before cancer). I have become more compassionate and less judgmental. I have learned to listen more and speak less. When I talk with other pink survivors (breast cancer survivors), I realize, as I listen, that I am not looking at a mirror image of myself. Each survivor has their own story, their own journey and their own place from which they’ve come. Their experience or the way they cope with the aftermath of their “storm” is no less significant than mine. We are as different in our experiences (and backgrounds) as fingerprints on fingers. Yet we share one thing in common - We’ve all come face to face with a life threatening disease that has changed us in many different ways and in many different aspects of our lives. That is what unites us. Strangers turned into Sisters.

What makes me embrace my fellow pink sister is the fact that we allow each other to feel – whatever we are feeling. There is no right or wrong way. We allow each other to “express” our circumstances however the need is - to rant or rave, to pray, to vent or cry, to laugh or act ridiculously silly. These are a few of the qualities that endear us to each other. There is “NO WRONG OR RIGHT WAY.” We allow each other to FEEL. I think that is something that perhaps others can learn. Our stories are diverse – and yes, there are those “Babel” moments. Where you learn what the scripture means when it says, “To guard your heart.” (Proverbs 4:23) Understanding, compassion, forgiveness, patience and looking outside one’s self is something I think we would all do well to walk in. If I stub my toe, I may “hop around on one foot.” That does not make my pain any less relevant than yours if you’re not a “foot hopper” when you stub your toe. And while I can’t promise that I won’t laugh at how you express your pain ( if you are a friend of mine) I can promise that I will be there to help you through it and make you smile through your tears and certainly try to make you feel better than worse for stubbing your toe in the first place. Smiles and bad moods are contagious. You determine which one you’d rather spread. A smile goes a long, long way…

The Call...

How is it we take so much for granted - until we don't?

Did you see it? The day the world changed?  I saw it! I never believed in "dimensions in time" before that day.  But I remember it so clearly... It happened with just one call.

What is one suppose to do when they get that call.  There is nothing in my repertoire that prepared me for how I should act.  What is the proper etiquette?

I had stepped off the pages of my familiar life into a vortex. 

Can you still see me? 

I am moving in slow motion... Feeling invisible while you go on with your every day life - unscathed.

How can YOU go on like that? Like nothing has changed?  Going about your usual duties... Thinking of your plans, your tasks, your work. How DARE you! Stop! Right NOW!  You are moving so fast - while I am moving in sloooooow motion...

"Helloooooo!!! Can you see me????"  A strong desire to wave my hand in front of your face.  I'm quite sure I've become invisible.  WHY do I FEEL like I am NO LONGER a part of the HUMAN RACE???

I feel ALONE. So ALONE.

You can't SHARE this with me.  It's not something you can SHARE because it is happening to ME.

I can't even FATHOM WHAT it is that has happened. 

My mind is outside of my body.... Incredulous.  Unaccepting.  Astonished....

I want to shake you!  I want to cry out to you - "Help me! Help me!!! Please wake me up from this horrible, horrible dream!!! This CAN'T BE!" But you don't see the changes.  Maybe you don't even see me? Because you walk right by caught up in your thoughts, in your agenda, in your plans... I HAD plans TOO!

As hard as I try to go about my normal daily duties - I can't.  I keep thinking, "We are not the same anymore..."  You can't understand. You can't experience this from the same place as I.  Its as if there is a chasm between us.  I once was where you are - but you have never been where I am. 

"Where am I?"

Even if you wanted to - you can't.

"What happened? What is going on? How did this happen? Why did this happen? Did this even happen?" 

I want to scream! I want to shout! I want to cry!  -  But I can't because I'm on the outside looking in...

This is NOT happening.  Not to ME.  I'm YOUNG. I'm not old yet! This can't happen - not to ME. No! No! No!!!!!

Who is that lying on that hospital bed with the backless hospital gown on, going through all those tests? Staring up at the drop down ceiling in the basement of the Radiology department of some hospital.

What did you say?

"Blah Blahh Blahhh... Cancer. Blah blah blahhh surgery... Blah blah blahhh chemo..."

Why can't I understand your words?  Why do you sound like Charlie Brown's teacher?  I see your lips moving - but I can't understand your words?

I turn my head and look at my mother... My safety net. The woman who birthed me.  She reaches out and touches my hand... I feel it.... I FEEL IT!   My eyes beseech her for understanding.  For clarity.  For understanding.  She leans over and kisses my forehead.

She see's me! I'm not invisible.  I'm still here!!!

She translates the Oncologist words.  It's not the words I understand and accept, it's her reassuring firm motherly tone that soothes me.  It's the way she is holding my hand.  It's the strength in her voice.  The same familiar strength I've heard throughout many moments in my life.  Like when I was a child and woke up from a bad dream, and she comforted me as only a mother can do. 
Her voice becomes my lullaby. Rhythmic. Soothing. Like the comfort an unborn baby gets from the pulsating familiar sound of a mother's heartbeat.

"One step at a time.  Come on. We can do this. FIGHT. You are not alone.  See? Here is my hand. FIGHT.  I am NOT going to let you give up! FIGHT. Moment by moment - see? We've already made it to the next.  Look - there's another one. FIGHT."

I do it because she says to.  She's my mother.  She knows.  The vortex is getting smaller now. I can step from the hole back onto the groove of humanity.  Because she tells me to.
FIGHT.

I'm concentrating on the word with ALL I have. FIGHT.  Don't GIVE in. Don't GIVE up. Don't let go. Don't think too hard. FIGHT.

 I don't recognize the woman in the mirror.  Who is she?  She kinda looks like me.

FIGHT.

My senses are gone... All except for the sense of smell... Will I EVER get that smell of chemotherapy out of my nose??? It sickens me... Taste is exaggerated, I never want to see another Jolly Rancher for as long as I live....

FIGHT.

How did the moments turn into minutes? Into hours? Into days? Into months?  Chemo is over now - switching it up to radiation...  How can something you don't FEEL cause SUCH burns?  Will it EVER stop?

F I G H T.

Radiation is over. So are the doctor appointments. So is the treatment.  It has been a success...

What do I do now?

LIVE.

I turn and scratch my peach fuzz head...

Live?  How?  I don't remember how?

JUST LIVE.

And so I do..  Tentatively, like a baby learning how to walk.  Unsure of whether or not I'll lose my balance and fall... I can see those who stood by me throughout this whole ordeal - the TRUE ones.  Ready to catch me should I begin to fall.

"LIVE," they say encouragingly...  LIVE.

And so I will... Each moment, each minute, each day.  Not as before.  Never as before.  I've lost the know-how to BE as before.  I am changed...

Changed - but very much ALIVE...

Rise ABOVE it.

Whatever it is - RISE ABOVE IT.

I guess you could say I had an epiphany today as I was driving... Maybe this is a common one for most people - but I have always been a late bloomer who wears her heart on her sleeve... Here it is - very simple but hard at the same time. "Don't let people define who you are."

It is so easy to allow how someone views you to become your view of yourself.  No one has the right to categorize you or judge you (nor do we have the right to judge or categorize them). We can't control how other people act - but we can control how we think, how we feel, how we respond.  It seems like it should be the easiest thing in the world - but its not...

As I was driving this weekend, I realized that the only power people have over you is the power you allow them to have....  It got me to thinking about the Wizard of Oz.  How scared everyone was of the Wizard of Oz.  They were in awe of him, yet they were terrified at the same time... And it turned out that he was nothing but a little man trying to be a BIG wizard behind the screen.  How foolish those people would have felt had it been a real life thing.  But there are times in life when people and situations seem soooooo MUCH bigger than they are.

How much power are you giving people?  Are they making you view yourself with their disoriented view?  Writing this I'm almost embarrassed when I think back to situations when I allowed someone else's insecurities and wrongful attitudes to affect my view of myself.  I feel sorry for that person now.  I don't say that in a hateful spirit.  I say that because there are times when we need to "rise above it."  No wonder the Bible tells us to "pray for those who persecute us." (Matthew 5:44).  I must admit that there are times when I haven't done that. Times when the last thing I wanted to do was PRAY for someone who was hurting my feelings.  And then I had to take a long hard look at the situation and wonder WHY I was allowing myself to feel hurt?  If someone doesn't come to you and tell you what you have done to offend them, and you have asked repeatedly - then the responsibility is no longer on your shoulders.  It is on theirs.  The Bible also says, "When you have done all you can - then simply stand." (Ephesians 6:13).

We live in a world where we don't know the "fullness" of ANY ONE'S story.  As they don't know the fullness of ours.  We don't know what they've been through, what insecurities they have, where their heart is.  Only God sees the full story.  I learned a long time ago not to judge others  - because when I did, that is when my own faults became more vivid and clear and I realized that WHO am I to judge??  Only God knows each person's heart (including our own).  Understanding this has made it easier for me to look past my own hurts... Okay, to be honest - maybe after the fact... but what really matters, is what you do with what you learn, right?

Sometimes the situations that occur in our lives are not of our own doing - and what it does it throw us off track from what is *really* important.  Each of us has a calling, we can allow situations and people to hinder us from that calling, or we can choose to learn from it and move forward or to let it stunt our growth, our purpose and our own opinion of ourselves.

How silly it all seems to me now... I have a higher calling - YOU DO TOO.  Rise above it, pray and move forward. Its not always an easy thing to do - nothing WORTH anything IS easy.  But it will make you feel a lot better about the person YOU are.  The bumps in the road of life are just that - bumps and part of the journey.... Time to move on...

 

 







Let There be Peace - is That REALLY What You Want?

As a camper, we use to a sing a song that I’m not sure kids are taught anymore, but perhaps should be? The lyrics went like this:

“Let there be peace on earth

And let it begin with me.

Let there be peace on earth

The peace that was meant to be.

With God as our Father

Brothers all are we.

Let me walk with my brother

In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me

Let this be the moment now.

With every step i take

Let this be my solemn vow.

To take each moment

And live each moment

With peace eternally.

Let there be peace on earth,

And let it begin with me.”

People talk about peace and wanting it. But so often they don’t start with “themselves.” My own personal opinion is that the biggest problem that exists in this world can be summed up in one word -“Communication.”

The biggest cause of arguments and fights and disagreements are from mis-understandings. Its like a snowball that starts out as a little snowflake and rolls on and on until it becomes a huge boulder of snow growing to epic proportions until you can’t even remember what it was that was the issue in the beginning. I have seen this happen in families, in friendships, within the work environment. Perhaps instead of pointing a finger at someone else, we should turn that finger inward – towards ourselves...

Do you really want peace in this world? What can you do to contribute to it? Perhaps peace begins when you have an issue with someone – going directly to them to resolve it? In love, without condemnation. We cannot control how someone response to us or even take responsibility for someone else’s actions. We can take responsibility for our own.

I was thinking this week about Jesus, and how He was falsely accused of things He didn’t do. He was spat upon, called names – crucified for a crime He didn’t commit. I know we can't possibly imagine or assume the pain and anguish He was under, but I can't help but wonder what felt heavier – the weight of the cross against His bloody torn and beaten back as He walked the streets on route to Golgatha or the weight of sorrow His heart must have felt by being misunderstood, accused, lied about by a people who He came only to love, heal and to save?

How amazing that He stayed focus on His goal. How many of us would have stopped and yelled out to God the Father, “ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! I tried Father. I quit! I can’t DO this anymore?! Take this yoke off my shoulders. I cannot drink of this cup! I’ve had enough of these wayward, sinful people! Do what YOU like with them! I’m done!”

He could have dropped the cross called forth legions of angels and gone back to the Heavens.  But He chose NOT to do that. His grace, His mercy, His love... Did His heart break for us? He was only trying to LOVE us. To make a way where there had been NO way. Abused, misunderstood and hated – all for loving us. Yet still He kept going. He didn’t give up. He kept on. For THEM, for YOU for ME. Until upon that cross with His arms stretched out wide – He finally said, “It is Finished.” (John 19:30)

When you think about that, it kind of puts things into perspective, doesn’t it? The Bible tells us “there is nothing new under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9) How true that is.

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with ME.

The Tsunami Called Breast Cancer - Dedicated with Much love to my Pink Sisters and EVERY Survivor

Dedicated in Remembrance to one very special Pink - Tracy, who lived life FULLY and was taken away from us way to soon.  She touched the lives of all who knew her and was a perfect example of someone who no matter what hand life dealt her was able to "live in the moment." She is missed by SO many but never forgotten.  Written with MUCH love to those that have fought the battle and those that continue to do so, until a cure has been found.
 

What a relief it would be to let my feelings pour out upon this page like a flood bursting from a dam. But I am experiencing an emotional drought. As if I’m having a riga mortis of my emotions. My eyes sting, there are no tears. Perhaps I am shell shocked? A prisoner inside my own head…

I am walking along the shore of my life. All you know about me is what you see now. The ravages of a tsunami called breast cancer stormed into my life.
No warning
No forecast.
The storm clouds came in so quickly I had no time to plan or to gather my thoughts.
No time to think.
The waves were over my head leaving me no time to do anything other than swim with the tide. Every moment I fought for my life. It left me unrecognizable to my own self.

Who IS this woman? I do not recognize her? Where am I? Who am I? What happened???

 Like a person caught in the middle of a bad dream, I couldn’t wake up no matter how hard I tried. Talk about a crash course in learning? What was once only the pretty pink magnetic ribbons you see while in the checkout line of a grocery store became a crash course of Breast Cancer 101. I learned MORE than I ever wanted to know about my body. I was asked to make options and make choices as if I was shopping online and choosing between one item or another.

 “Would you prefer a mastectomy or a lumpectomy? Although you are a great candidate for a lumpectomy the choice is yours….”

Like a bad dream where the girl is trying to run away from the murderer the only thing I could think of at that time was:

“JUST GET IT OUT. CUT IT OUT. GET IT OUT!!! I DON’T CARE HOW – JUST DO IT!”

So hard to believe that one lump the size of a nickel, one painless little lump right where you would place your hand to say The Pledge of Allegiance, was capable of sucking the life out of me. Like a tick or a leach. Capable of whipping into a strong storm that would become a tsunami that would affect every area of my life and that of my family leaving no stone unturned. How strange is it that cleaning up the aftermath of the tsunami hurts more than the tsunami itself?

Walking along the shore, two years have passed. The Tsunami is gone now. So is life as I knew it.

 Is this shore my life?

Yep… I recognize that broken piece of china. It was 19 years old. You wouldn’t know it by looking at it now, but that use to be a china cup called “marriage.” I won’t lie to you, it had a chip in it before the storm occurred. I think I accidently chipped it. But it was still drinkable… It was my fault, the chipping. But the storm, well the cup couldn’t tolerate the gales of wind. The tidal wave shattered it into that unrecognizable piece of china you see right there. Throw it down now – before you cut your finger on that jagged piece. It’s no good to anyone. It’s just a memory of what once was.

Gazing around the shore of my life – I see familiar fragments of things that once were. Running my fingers through my shortcurls I lick lips that are dry. Trying to figure out which way of the shore I should walk.

 I would walk back the way I came, but I don’t know how. I would walk ahead – but I’m uncertain of where that would take me. I’ve lost my direction. I am in an unfamiliar place. I go and sit on the edge of a levy, feeling very much alone.

 “Helllooooooooooo!!!” I yell. The sound echos, “Anyone there????”

Way off in the distance I can see a figure walking in my direction. A tiny little blurry figure. I walk towards the figure, nibbling on the bottom corner of my lip. Walking past strewn items of my life like seaweed and kelp gathered on the sandy shore.

It is another woman. She looks at me. I look at her. “What the hell just happened?” I ask her. (A very strange question to ask a stranger.) But I recognize something within this woman.

 “I don’t know,” she replies. “ I was hoping you would know.”

We find ourselves continuing our walk, how odd that I’ve never known this woman before – yet we are sisters. She reaches out to give my hand a sisterly squeeze that says, “You are not alone.” I squeeze her’s back. We don’t know where we are going, or why we are here. But we keep walking.

Soon we can see another figure in the distance. She joins us. Another of our sisters… and another and another and another… Until we are holding the hands of many women, an unfortunate continuing line which grows and grows and continues to grow. A sorority none of us asked to pledge. A pink rover line. Although we wince at every new hand held – joining our line, there is comfort in numbers. Not one of us understands the “why” of it. But there is an assurance and a comfort that comes in just “being” together.
We cry together.
We laugh together.
We are quiet together.
We mourn together – not only the lives of those who have had to let go of our fingers (but never our hearts) and moved on to the heavenly shores of eternity – but we mourn for our own lives. The lives we once knew.

Oh don’t mistake any one of US as weak. The waves of the tsunami have beaten us down but we’ve arisen stronger. Our senses for life more keen, our appreciation for today – strong. It is as though we’ve arisen from the storm with a vibrancy. Shouldn’t it be an oxymoron that we can be both vulnerable and strong?

Yet I move forward, still picking up the pieces of a shattered old life, appreciative of the ability to map out a new one. Trying to figure out who this new woman is? This one called – “me.” Alone – yet not alone…

Looking at the horizon, not certain what the future holds in store. Feeling the responsibility of even being “given” a future, learning to “live in the moment” thankful for a God who, while I only have seen in part – He has seen in full. He has seen the “fullness” of “Me.” There is a comfort in that. It must be where the “peace that passes all understanding” abides, completely and totally in Him.

Copyrighted 2012, Written by Kelly Lynne Richards

The Prodigal Daughter: Tomorrow, Living in the Moment & Buffet Style Li...

The Prodigal Daughter: Tomorrow, Living in the Moment and Buffet Style Li...:  My Latest Tatt - L'Chaim is Hebrew and means "To Life!"  Let's toast life by the way we live it. By the way we encourage others to l...

Tomorrow, Living in the Moment and Buffet Style Living...



My Latest Tatt - L'Chaim is Hebrew and means "To Life!"
 Let's toast life by the way we live it.
By the way we encourage others to live... May all your tomorrows (and more importantly your "todays") be filled with life. 


Live in the moment… How does one DO that? Is it about appreciating what you have? I do that already… Is it about cherishing life? I do that too. We were originally made to live FOREVER in the Garden of Eden. Maybe that is why we have the automatic expectation that tomorrow will come. But when you’ve been faced with an illness that makes you question “all your tomorrows” suddenly you are stripped of that luxury of it being a given, “tomorrow” is something that is not taken for granted anymore. All of a sudden you feel like a person at an “all-you-can-eat buffet” where you are just trying to stuff all the good things of the this buffet table called life on your plate. Filling your plate with “some of this” or “some of that” because you are afraid that it won’t be there – tomorrow… There is never enough life. Never enough experiences… Never enough kisses you can plant upon your children. Your heart and soul cries out MORE. MORE TOMORROWS!!! So how does one go about living in the moment? Living for today?


After two years of being a Breast Cancer Survivor, I don’t know the answer for that. I’m STILL trying to figure it out. I’m told that in time it gets easier, but I’m not sure I believe it… I don’t know HOW to live as if I don’t have tomorrow. My hope is in tomorrow. I look forward to tomorrow. I plan for tomorrow. It’s my automatic pilot that goes into effect. I think it is the way we were made… Maybe it would be better to say – be thankful for today. I am. Maybe it would be better to say – tell those that you love you love them – today. I do. And then perhaps go one step further… Make a difference in someone else’s life. Pray for someone. Encourage someone. Squeeze their hand. Make someone smile. Share your experiences. Help someone else not to feel alone. Because honestly, the worst feeling in the world – is not being a cancer survivor, it’s feeling alone. Like if you weren’t here anymore – it wouldn’t even cause a ripple on the river of life. If you can make one person who dreads tomorrow have a change of heart. If you can extend your right hand behind you – for someone else to grasp, to help them feel as though they matter. Then today is a day well spent.

I think I’m always going to want a “tomorrow.” I think I’ll never stop… But in the meantime, I’m going to try real hard to show my appreciation for today… It kind of puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?

Tim McGraw - Live Like You Were Dying - HQ (Official)

Please Vote

I am a Survivor of Triple Negative Breast Cancer.  Please vote - all breast cancers are equally bad, make no mistake of that... But Triple Negative is the type that they no least about.  The only treatment for it is surgery (mastectomy or lumpectomy), chemotherapy and/or radiation.  They need more money to do research.  Please vote: http://fb.chasegiving.com/charity/view/ein/20-5880756#
Your vote will help save lives.  I am a two year survivor who is very blessed because I caught it early. We have to get the word out that early detection is KEY.  It is what saved my life.  Cancer (in my case breast cancer)  is no respector of persons.  There was no history of it in my family. It doesn't matter your age, nationality, religion - it affects ALL of us.  Please help us find a cure.

Thank you and God bless you - from the bottom of my heart and from my "Pink" sisters as well.

~ Kelly (Casey)

Who You Gonna Trust? How 'Bout The Holy Ghost Buster?

Preconceived notions… How many times have we had one? People have them all the time. I think it is a dangerous thing to do… It goes right up there with “Assuming.” And we all know what the word “Assume” breaks down to, don’t we? I look at my life prior to breast cancer and I think how unintentionally judgmental I was. I think about Jesus, and how to be Christian means to be “Christ-Like.” I believe that if you are a Christian, that that is something you strive to become, all your life. Jesus was compassionate, he was gentle, he was understanding. Yes – He was firm! But everything He did, everything He said – was said IN LOVE. We are to gently restore one another, to be firm – YET kind. You never know what a person has experienced in their life. You have all heard the saying, “you can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar?” I have seen a lot of brethren who seem to be “happy” at the short comings or falls of a brother or sister in Christ, to actually snicker or rejoice, or gossip over areas of weakness that a brother or sister might have… I think that is soooo wrong… If I was to be transparent to you, and honest, I could honestly tell you that I look back on my own life, and I see that the things I said I would NEVER do – I have done! The same things that I vehemently accused someone close to me in doing – I have found MYSELF having done! Perhaps not for the same reasons as they – but it doesn’t matter…. Sin, is sin. Maybe God appreciates it more when we are honest with Him? When we (to Him) admit to our sins? Our short comings? When we can admit and say to Him, “Lord, I cannot change this part of ME. HELP ME. Lord, I don’t understand why I do the things I do. Please help me to change what it is about me that You would like changed?” Maybe, He allows us to go through certain situations, so that we can admit how very much we need Him? That we can admit that it is NOTHING that we’ve have done (or do) that make us “Heaven-worthy.” The Bible tells us that “Our Righteousness is as filthy rags.” (Isaiah 64:6) How every glad I am that I am not under the Old Testament Law, how thankful I am that Jesus came and paid the price with his precious blood. As He hung on the cross, He looked down through the course of history and SAW ME. Saw MY sins – and STILL IN LOVE, He died on that cross for ME (and if you can be honest with yourself – for YOU too!!!)


Honestly, I do not think it is up to us to judge someone else. The Bible tells us, “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.” (Matthew 7:2). God knows a person’s heart. He knows what they have gone through, He sees in full – we see only in part. In 2 Timothy 3:16 it tells us that “All scripture is useful for teaching, for convincing, for correction of error, and for instruction for doing right.” But it is HOW you teach it that makes the difference. Do you wave a finger and criticize and yell at the person? Or do you lift up their chin in your fingers, look them deeply and compassionately in the eyes, and tell them that “God loves them. That He knows where they are struggling and if they can admit it to Him, that they CANNOT change in and of their own accord – BUT that HE can change them IF they are open to it” – which one do you think will be well received??



You might find that the you end up wearing the very SAME shoes that the person you so strongly judged (either vehemently or unknowingly) and find that those shoes are very uncomfortable indeed… Instead of shaking your head at them, or condemning them, or judging them – how ‘bout digging real deep and LOVING them enough to pray that God will make a difference in their lives? If you have been a Christian for a number of years, think back to all the things about yourself that God changed in YOU – because YOU ASKED Him to. Because YOU opened yourself UP to His changing you. Because you realized that you couldn’t do it by yourself… That you needed HIM to do it. It makes sense when you think about it – doesn’t it? Afterall, who knows you better than the One who created you? Remember it says in Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you. Before you were born – I set you apart.” No one knows you like HE does. No one ever will. Not even YOU, Yourself.

Seasons of Love - RENT

Somewhere in Time...

A Message in Time

Time stops for no man... How I wish it would.  How I wish we could hold on to certain moments and NOT LET GO.  What a loving God we serve that in creating us, gave us the BEST kind of internal camera - Our memories!  Think about... How a certain song or smell can bring you back to a certain time in your life? Or even a taste of a familiar food - can bring a flood of memories coming through.... Thank God for creating our senses!

My mother is turning 70 next week... SEVENTY.  How did THAT happen?? When did that happen?  I'm SO glad it happened!  But you see, in my eyes - my mom is "ageless."  Mom's "don't age," they stay the same - they are simply, "Mom."  How does time go by so quickly?  Although I am 45, I feel the SAME as I did when I was 16 - only wiser. (At least I hope I am....).  Isn't it funny how "old" is always 15 years "older than you are?"  (And, as I already indicated, that doesn't pertain to our parents...)  I look at elderly people, and  I finally understand what they meant when they looked at us, shook their head and said, "If I only knew THEN what I know NOW."  Our bodies are just shells.  Or as the Bible puts it "temples."They house who we REALLY are.  As I grow older, I understand this more and more.

As a birthday present, I bought my mom tickets to go see Maya Angelou.  I didn't expect her to want to take ME with her, but I'm so glad she did.  Dr. Angelou spoke of "having an attitude of gratitude" How we should let "thank you fall off of our lips often."  She spoke of how at a time in her life, when she was a single African American parent, she was asked to play a role in the Musical "Porgy and Bess."  A role that would take her around the world to perform.  She asked her son if it would be okay with him if she did this.  He went to stay with a relative while she did the tour (her son  - I think she said, was eight years old at the time.)  When she returned from the trip, her son was angry with her.  She went through a depression and contemplated commiting suicide - holding her son's hand and jumping off the balcony of their apartment.  When she realized what a danger she was becoming to herself and to her son, she went to get help.  She ended up going to her voice coach's house, telling him how she felt.  After listening to her, he said "Take this yellow pad of paper." (She took it from him). He then said, "Now, write down that you are grateful you can "take" that pad of paper when there are people that don't even have hands to reach for things. Now, write down that you are grateful that you have fingers that you can write with on that yellow pad of paper... Now write down that you are grateful that you can spell... And then when you think about it - write down that you are grateful you can read..." And he went on and on until she realized how MUCH she was"grateful" FOR. She then admitted to us all, that from that point on ALL of her writings/poems have been done on "Yellow pads of paper." (I wrote this from jotted down notes I took during her presentation - so please remember it's based on notes "I wrote" on not a yellow pad of paper - but a small white one, and I probably am not doing her "justice" in how she presented it).

I have a clock hanging in my living room. I got it from The Cracker Barrel Store - A store I love because you can have lunch there and shop too! This store sells items that represent many different eras. I bought a clock a year ago.  The name of the clock is "A Message in Time."  What I love about it, is that you can put tiny pictures on the walls of the clock right where each number for an hour would be. (See above photo). I have filled it with pictures of my three children.  Two of my kids decided they wanted to record what would be the "chime." They decided that the perfect chime for the clock would be a verse from the song "Seasons of Love" (from the musical "Rent.") They decided they would sing the following verse:

"Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes... How many minutes are in a year?" 

Every time my clock chimes, I hear my children singing that verse.  No matter how old they become (as long as the clock works), frozen in time will be their child-like voices, taking me back to the moment they (innocently) recorded it.

So I guess what we need to do, is to remember how precious this gift called life is. How precious time is... And if necessary - get ourselves "a pad of yellow paper" if it helps you (as it did Dr. Angelou) remember what a gift our lives are, and in the words of Dr. Angelou - ""See in yourself something SO WORTHY that you will not only live a unique life - but that you will live one in which you thrive with passion and compassion AND style!"

The clock chimes... It's time for me to go... I've got a 70th birthday party for a very special woman to prepare for... Tick tock... Time to make a memory.

Ready? Aim... Shoot.... FIRE! Another One Bite's The Dust!

Aim, Shoot and FIRE!

Sometimes I feel like David must have facing Goliath with just a slingshot and a stone.  Only my slingshot is my faith, and my stones are the promises that God has given me in His Word.

Have you ever faced a problem with your knees trembling?  Everything within you tells you to "run and hide." But you hear a quiet voice reminding you that "God did not give you a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)

Jesus told us "Take my Yoke upon you, and learn from me. I am humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls." (Matthew 11:29)

I'm not sure if they still teach kids this - but when I was a kid in school, they taught us a song. The words went like this:  "He's got the whole world in His hands, He's got the whole wide world, in His hands, He's got the whole world in His hands, He's got the whole world in His hands."  We sang it innocently because we were told to (in music class).  But it is the truth.  Even His word says, "I have engraved you upon the palms of my hands."

He didn't promise us we wouldn't go through hardships, or storms or problems - but He did promise us that "He would never leave nor forsake us." 

I'm quite sure that David was scared as he faced that mean ol' giant.  But I think he also felt peace while he stood there because he recognized that the fight wasn't his.  He recognized and acknowledged that without God he could do nothing.  But with God, well "all things are possible."

With God on your side - there is no room for failure.  "The steps of the righteous are ordained by God." (Psalm 37). He ordained you. Your steps. YOU. 

Okay... I've got my slingshot.  Loading it up and aiming it at the current worry in my life... Down it goes!  Another one bites the dust!  It's your turn now... You GOT this! Because He has You.  Deep breath, exhale... Let it fly!

Jesus - Mary Did You Know Video - The Passion

Stop Yelling and Answer The Door!

It's for You and He's Not Leaving Until You Answer The Door....

The house is quiet... All I hear is the ticking of the clock on the living room wall. Seconds are going by that will never come back. Seconds that turn into minutes, that turns into hours, that turns into days, that turns into weeks, that turns into years...  How quickly time goes by.

I wonder how small we look to God? Did you ever wonder that?  Do we look to Him the way an ant hill looks to us?  It must seem so big to those ants at their viewpoint.  Do you wonder how God sees you amongst all the human beings there are in the earth?  Is it like one of those movies we see, where they show the earth from a distance, making it look like a turning globe.  Do you feel like you are reaching out your arms to God, jumping, yelling, stomping - wondering if He even hears you? Maybe there is a voice in your head saying, "Aw come on - why would He listen to you? He's got His plate full with prayer requests and peoples problems. What makes you think you are special? That He has time to hear your little itty bitty non-important concern?"

Don't listen to that voice.  It is the voice of the liar. He wants you to think that you don't matter, that your feelings don't count, that your life doesn't count that you are nothing more than a little ant standing on that ant hill.  The Bible tells us that   "He knows EVERY hair on your head." (Luke 12:7) You matter. Your thoughts, your life, YOU - you matter to Him.  In fact, you not only matter, He wants you to talk to Him.  He wants you to share your thoughts, your worries, your concerns - your life with Him.  He wants to be a part of your life.  He wants you to know that its "not about" joining a certain denomination or church (although it is good to be part of a place where you will spiritually grow and get fed).  It is about having a "personal" relationship with Him.  He's waiting to hear about your day.  Like a best friend waiting for the phone to ring, eager to pick it up and hear all about YOU.

He tells us "Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, or reap or store away in barns,  and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they?" (Matthew 6:26)

He stands at the door knocking. (The door of your life). And here is the beauty of His love - He will stand there knocking and knocking and knocking - not giving up, even while you are going through the course of your life, shutting out that knocking sound... Covering it up with daily activities, ignoring it.  But deep inside your heart, you hear it.  What will it take for Him to make you lift your head and acknowledge His presence?  Let Him show you that you are not a little ant.  Or maybe even better than that - that those little ants He created serve a purpose.  Even those tiny little ants matter to Him - and He sees them hard at work on that anthill.  How much more so does He see YOU?  Open the door and let Him in.  You'll be so glad you did! "Behold I stand at the door and knock if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with Him and Him with me." (Revelations 3:20)  Isn't it time you made a date with your Heavenly Father? Imagine going out to eat with someone who already knows ALL about you - but wants you to tell them anways?  Someone who is sitting forward in their seat hanging on to your every word.  Looking at you with pride and love and adoration simply because you let them in?  Someone who is TRULY interested in everything you are thinking and have to say.  Someone who wants to truly share with you.  See you succeed, bless you abundantly.  And all you have to do is open the door and let Him in.  It will be the best door you ever opened in your whole life.