Who are you when no one is looking? The real you. The one YOU are when no one is around you. We wear so many hats in our lives - in our day. We put up so many shields, or walls - because we think that is what we have to do. Sometimes we do it so well we don't even know who the real us is anymore. Our lives move at such a fast pace sometimes we can't even keep up with it. Who are you? Do you even know? Who do you want to be? Do you have faith in yourself? Or are you so busy being what you think everyone wants you to be that you have lost track of who you are? And if you have - isn't time you re-discover (or even re-believe) in yourself? The thing is - it doesn't really matter what people think when it comes down to it. When you look back over the course of your life, will you have lived to please others? Or will you look back on your life with a satisfied, "yeah, I said what I had to say, did what I had to do - and did it well."
What really matters? There is no perfect person out there. Sometimes the standards we set for ourselves are so high that we can't possibly fulfill them all. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. We measure ourselves up to "The Jones" - WHY? What is so special about "The Jones" that we have to compare ourselves to them? What a boring place the world would be if we were all "carbon copies" of each other. How bland that sounds. I almost feel sorry for "The Jones" because the pressure to stay where they are must be so high.... Celebrate you. Take down those walls - perhaps they only are there because of your fear of rejection? Of not fitting in? (Of not fitting in WHERE? And do you really want to be some place where you are being made to "fit in" to a mold that perhaps is not you?) I hope the words of my blog are making you really think. If you strip away all of the special gifts God has given you that have made you the individual you are - it is like a meal without flavor. God made you as individual as he did your hand print. It should be celebrated - NOT hidden. Don't allow others to measure who you are. When we do that, we feel all the things we shouldn't "envy, jealousy, low self-esteem, anger, depression" so what is upside of that? Makes me think back on the childhood fairytale "Snow White." The Queen's self-esteem revolved around being the most beautiful woman in the Kingdom. "Mirror, mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all?" When the mirror answered "Snow White" all those insecurities came to the surface. Remember? If the Mirror had answered back - "Queen, why are you worried about being the fairest? Look at the beauty that is deep inside of you, you have this, this and this gift..." Perhaps the story would have changed into a different one? What is YOUR story? Have you spent your whole life comparing yourself to someone else? How is that working for you? Think about it...
Who am I? I realize I have been my own worst critic. I think in reaching my forties, I began to really discover who I am. The popularity contests that happened throughout school years didn't much matter anymore - as many of those people are no longer in your life, and you realize - what they "thought" really didn't matter much, we were together only because we were in the same situation. Who were they to determine who I was? Why did I give it so much importance at the time? What a waste of ME. Now I know, with my forties came self-acceptance, yet with the willingness to try and change within myself those things I feel need changing. (Notice I said the things I feel need changing). I am a work in progress (as are you). I have become less judgmental and more forgiving of myself (as well as of others). I truly do see now that it is not by works, I have been saved. It is by God's grace and if HE can be graceful and forgiving and patient with me, perhaps I owe it to myself to be the same? If He loved me enough to die on the cross for forgiveness of my sins - don't I owe it to Him to try and honor Him with the gifts I've been given? To "pay it forward" when it comes to sharing my weaknesses, my mistakes and what I have learned from the lessons He has been taking me through? Isn't that why we go through things? To learn, to grow, to share - to become what He wants us to become? And it is not an overnight process. I believe that as long as we have breathe in our bodies - we will always be learning - hopefully striving. And you know what? I think that is more than okay. I think its life...
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