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| Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) |
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to
mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you
can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you
can endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)
The obvious choice is to not give into whatever the temptation
is, I gave into the temptation and the
cross that I had to carry, was one of willful disobedience that robbed me of
my peace with God. And no matter how
much I tried to go around it – it was something that weighed heavily on my
heart. You see, I had fallen in love
with God at the age of 21. I fell head
over heels in love with Him. He became
my all in all. When I had learned that
Jesus died on the cross for forgiveness of my sins, and rose from the dead and
that ALL I needed to do was to make Him Lord of my life and my personal
Savior, my life drastically changed. He made Himself REAL to me. It was not from
anyone else telling me to do it, not that I was being “forced” to attend a
certain church. It was a simple prayer – “Lord, I ask you to come
into my life and be my Lord and Savior.
If You are REAL I need You to make Yourself real to me.” And dear reader – HE DID. (If you haven’t tried it already – you should,
and don’t be surprised when God knocks the socks off your feet because He makes
Himself REAL to you! – Don’t trust my words, try the prayer I prayed and leave
it at that!). My life DRASTICALLY
changed. All of a sudden when I picked
up the Bible I had a new understanding of what I was reading. I fell in love with God. I wanted MORE of Him and I could not get
enough…
In fact, I remember the first time I heard His voice, it was steady and gentle. I was a sophomore in college engaged to
someone. I was a new Christian, I was into theatre - you see I planned
on becoming an actress, I had known since the age of three what it was I wanted
to become, an actress and everything I did was in a very passionate way. When I came to Christ, I took a Sharpie pen
to my jean jacket and wrote in large black ink – “JOHN 3:16” on it. I wanted the WHOLE world to know! (I have never been one to do anything
halfway). At that time, I was engaged to someone who
was trying to make it in the music business and was not a Christian. God asked me, “Who do you love more? ME or
him?” There was no doubt in my head who
that was – I broke off the engagement.
(Remember God sees everything in full and we only see in part, so I’m
quite sure that He knew that this was a relationship that would not work out or
was not the “Best” that He had in store for me). I never regretted the fact that I chose Him.
I wanted ALL that He had in store for me.
Just like we go through stages growing up physically, we go
through stages maturing spiritually once we become a Christian. It has been interesting to me talking to
Christians who accepted Christ in their hearts at an early age because there is
a lot of “poop" that they don’t experience because of that early
conversion. Yet many of them feel they “missed
out” on all the “fun” they think those of us who didn’t have an early
conversion have had. I find it ironic that “the grass seem greener on the opposite side of the fence.”
Because I felt (as someone who didn’t know about Jesus or come to Christ at an
early age), envious of them who had; because to me, it seems as though I would
have avoided a lot of heart ache, tough times and other worldly things I had
gone through if only I had known about what Christ had done for me and accepted
Him as my personal Lord and Savior at an early age.
Still, the plans of the righteous are ordained by God. He allowed the scales to fall off my eyes at
the time He felt I was best prepared for them to do so and for that I am
thankful. No matter if you come to
Christ at an early age or at an older one, we are still in this world and the
temptations (which have always remained the same and not changed) affect all of
us at one point in our walk or another.
It is where we are in our spiritual maturity that determines whether or
not we give into those temptations or we do as Jesus did and tell satan “to get
behind me!”
I have been a Christian now for 28 years. When I look back, I see all the different
periods of growth and change that has occurred in my life, spiritually. The deepest lessons I have learned have been
within the last five years, the time that I allowed myself to be in a prodigal
situation. A time of excruciating
spiritual pain that because of my disobedience and my straying from what God
had told me to do; the cross in my life became overwhelming. My love for the Lord versed my willful
disobedience to His Word. I became bound by the poor decisions I had made and
even though it was something that I just happened to ‘fall in to” – the decision
to get right with God warred against the prodigal situation I had allowed
myself to fall in. I was in serious
anguish, which is a sign of bondage. All
through that time, I would speak to God (because once again He sees everything,
so I saw no sense in hiding anything from Him).
Quite honestly, in my head I already knew how things were going to turn
out – but my heart refused to accept it.
I stayed in that prodigal state for FIVE years. Five excruciating years that I knew I wasn’t right with
God, but couldn’t get out of the situation I was in bondage to on my own
accord. Finally, everything came to a
head and the choice was taken out of my hands.
Gone was the pain of being disobedient to God, fresh was the pain that
what I had wanted I would no longer have.
God allowed the situation to be taken right out of my hands because He knew
I was not strong enough to do it myself.
In looking back now, I can honestly say that the pain of no longer being in a
prodigal situation (although it hurt and is one that I am still healing from,
it was not an overnight situation!) is a lot less painful than that in not
being right with God. I will also say
that getting back on the pathway that God has for my life has been one where I
learned a valuable lesson – personally – and that is that, you cannot be a ‘good
enough” Christian. Our Righteousness is
(and quite always has been) filthy rags.
“All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our
righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like
the wind our sins sweep us away.” (Isaiah 64:6)
I think before experiencing a prodigal experience in my walk
with God, I somehow felt as though I was a “good Christian girl.”
WRONG. What I realized, the most
powerful lesson that I fully, personally understand that I have gained in my
walk; Is that it TRULY, TRULY is NOTHING
but HIS grace HIS love, HIS forgiveness and HIS mercy and the precious blood of Jesus that allows me to
experience a relationship with Him. It
has made me a stronger Christian. It has
made me a humble Christian. It has made
me less judgmental of others. Unless YOU
Have walked in someone else’s shoes – you have no right, no way of judging
them. You simply DON’T know the fullness
of their situations or what they have gone through. It is between THEM and God.
I can’t say I’m “glad” I allowed myself to become a
prodigal. The ramifications of my
allowing myself to have become one are still vibrating throughout my life. It has changed my life. It has changed ME. I am not happy I chose the “hard road” to
allow myself to be open to those changes.
But I WILL say that God can take any “mess” we make and turn it into a “message”
that glorifies HIM. And quite honestly,
isn’t that what our lives should do? Glorify Him? It has made me wiser and more determine to
live for Christ and to really *think* about the decisions I make before I make
them. My life is not my own and I
realize that the best I wanted for ME is nowhere near the best that God has.
It is ALL about trust.
It is ALL about growth and it is ALL about life. The truth of the matter is that as long as we
have breath in our bodies, we will be growing and learning and changing – until
the day comes when we are able to stand before Him. Thank God that Jesus is already well familiar
with all the temptations we face in life, because even though they may come as
a surprise to us, they do not to Him.
When I turned my prodigal situation – my cross over to
Jesus, He took it upon Himself and told me that I did not need to carry it
anymore. He had my situation covered in His precious blood, is there a
situation that you need to give over to Him?
Isn’t that cross you are carrying feeling mighty heavy? As I said before – nothing surprises Him, He
sees all. TALK to HIM. Tell HIM. Be open and honest and share with
Him what you are thinking, feeling, experiencing. He knows your thoughts before you even think
them:
“You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my
thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are
familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it
completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such
knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go
from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the
heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I
rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even
there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say,
"Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around
me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like
the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you
knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:2-14)
A prodigal experience is not one that is to be
permanent. It is a lesson and hopefully
we learn from it so that it is not one that we have to repeat. Personally, I have also found that God allows
us to go through situations so that later on – we can extend the right hand of
fellowship to someone behind us, who is going through what we have gone through
and help them to know they are not alone. YOU are NOT alone.
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