Are YOU all about YOU?

Is This What Your Relationship(s) Look Like? With People You Love or in Your Relationship With God? What Are You Putting Out? Or Are You? Or Does It Even Matter to You?

Communication

Understanding

Patience

Love

Listening

 

The above are all words that make for a successful relationship.  In fact, as I sat in service today, it occurred to me that the example that God has set for us to have a personal relationship with Him, is the same format that we should set for relationships in general that matter to us.  Think about it... 

 

If I was in a relationship with you and all you did was talk about yourself, YOUR desires, YOUR wants, YOUR needs, YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU without any kind of interest in me or care about what is important to me, it would show you really didn't care about what my desires were.  If it wasn't about YOU then you simply wouldn't be interested and wouldn't care to know... Is that the kind of relationship you are fostering? A relationship like that is one that will not be long lasting, for your partner would quickly get burned out thinking only about what YOU want.  What would make YOU happy.  What would fulfill YOU?  What needs need to be met in order or YOU to feel complete? Appreciated or loved? Do you even recognize the needs in the person you love?  Or that even have needs? Or have you been so self consumed that you actually haven't given it any thought?  Perhaps you should try asking them if you don't know...  At the very least it will show you how much you know about your special someone.  People receive love in different ways... 

 

I am a country music lover and as I write the words to this post, I'm thinking that Toby Keith has actually written a song about this very thing... I will post it under a separate post but the song is called, "Sometimes I Want to Talk About Me." (You can YouTube it to find it as well.)

 

Most of the time how we receive and what we need is based upon what we received (or did not receive) as a child.  It is common knowledge that it is said that a girl's first relationship with a male is with her father... It is said that sets the tone for future relationships.  Is it the same for a male and his mother? I'm not sure, but it makes sense when you think about it... Perhaps? What are your needs? How does a person who loves you know what you need? Have you communicated that with them? If you haven't you can't fault them for not knowing, of course if they were REALLY interested they would take the time to find out just what those needs are and to try and meet them the best way they could.  Believe me when I say there is no greater joy than fulfilling, caring about or being part of the fulfilling in what satisfies the needs in the person you love most.  To me, that is in and of itself a very satisfying, gratifying thing. But it is one that SHOULD be mutually met.

 

Each persons needs and ways of receiving love are different from each other.  That is why communication is key.  Listening is key.  How do you receive love?  What ways do you show the person who is key in your life that they are key? How well do you understand the needs of the person you are with?  Are they low on the totem pole of thought with you? Or do you find their needs or ways of making them feel they matter,  high on that pole if not - have you asked yourself why? Do you take an interest in what interests the one you love? It doesn't mean that you have to like ALL the things that person does - but do you share an interest in what is important to them, just because it is important to them? At least to some degree? If it isn't important to you, that should tell you something about your relationship.  It's lopsided, like a seesaw with all the weight on one end... It's off balanced... An off balanced relationship is not long lasting, it gets old very quickly...

 

As I thought about this, I thought about all the times in my conversations with God that I rushed through the format of prayer that I had been taught - Praise, Thanksgiving, Request and then Thanks again.  I thought about how sometimes my prayers have sounded like Christmas lists of - and God, I WANT, I WANT, I WANT.  Not intentionally of course... Most of the time it has been without really thinking of how it sounded. But there are times that in retrospect I realize that my conversations with God (who I am "suppose" to be in a personal relationship with) have been conversations where what I felt was important trumped what God felt was important. 

 

YES He is my Heavenly Father, but NO He is *not* my genie.  God desires to have a relationship with me that is one filled with talking as well as listening... Sometimes I've been a better talker than listener.  (I'm working on that one...) It is not enough to have a one sided conversation with God, because what happens is frustration occurs and then ol' slewfoot uses that frustration to make me think that "my Heavenly Father" doesn't care about whatever it is I'm bringing before Him in prayer... All because my conversation and my relationship has become one-sided...

 

Listening, communicating, giving and receiving go hand in hand in ANY important relationship.  It's a matter of priorities and importance.  If it is not important to you, it will show by all that I've written above.  My relationships are important to me, it is important to me that those I love, know it.  That they don't "guess" or feel like a "side dish" in my life. And in the same respect, my hope is that it is the same with them, that what I need or what I think about is equally important to them and that God and those that I love know that they are important to me.  Why? Because I CARE.  Actions along with words compliment each other.

 

"Lord forgive me for the times when my prayers to you sound more like scrolls of wants and to-do lists. Help me to be thankful not for simply what you CAN do in my life - but for what You have already done.  Forgive me for my ungratefulness or for  my selfishness. Thank you for having made away for me (through the shed blood of your Son, my Savior, Jesus Christ) to be able to enter into a relationship with You AT ALL.  Forgive me for the times when I have treated Our relationship as if You are a Side Dish - because the truth is, You are the MAIN dish in my life.  I appreciate You, I love You and I want MORE of You and less of ME.  Please continue to mold me in what it is You would have me become.  Help me not to miss out on what that is.... Help me to walk according to what You have called me to become, because the BEST for me is what YOU bring into my life and delegate what that best is - which is BETTER than anything I could choose for myself. Help me to recognize what that is and to walk in it, not only in my relationship with YOU but in the relationships of ALL those you place in my life.  Help me to love them better.  To SHOW them love in a way that they can receive it.  To CARE about what that way is, even if the way I receive love is different from how THEY receive love.  It is important to me to know how to show them, because I love them and because I care.  Give me discernment when it comes to those I love.  So that I can love them more fully in away that they can receive.  In Jesus precious name I pray, Amen...."