Your Father Cares... Really.

Have you ever considered that perhaps what you are holding on to cannot be compared to what it is that God has for you? Wants you to have? Let go of what you are holding on to so possessively and see that your Heavenly Father desires to bless you more abundantly than you can ever imagine.  In other words - "Taste and see that the Lord is good." (Psalms 34:8)

There are days when I just wonder what it is that God is doing.  

Have you ever had days like that?  I've reached a point with my Heavenly Father where I will follow Him around like a love struck daughter (which I am) and tug upon His robe... 

"Now Daddy?.. Now?  Is it time now?" 

How patient He is with me. How tolerant. 

Sometimes I am that wayward child who has lost her way.  I was always taught as a camper that if you get lost in the woods you find some place and sit and wait... He always finds me.  He always patiently takes my hand, even when He should be at His most exasperated point with me and leads me back where I need to be... 

You know, the most wonderful part of realizing that God loves you is that it fills you completely.  There is no comparison.  There is nothing better than being able to speak your mind freely with your Father.  To pour out your heart to Him and know that He is listening and that He cares, He is interested and that He is there.  We disappoint Him all the time but still He loves us.

He doesn't always explain why He allows things to happen to us.  I'm quite sure there are people who have wondered, "Kelly, you went through cancer - WHY did God allow you to go through that?"

I'll tell you why and for each survivor there is a different personal reason... 

Through my cancer experience I realized on a deeper level that I love God.  That I need Him. That I don't EVER want to be without Him.  That I can be myself before Him and not worry about what other people think - only what He does.  I realized that I needed a closer walk - not out of fear of dying but because I needed to appreciate and not take for granted living...  I realized that I am SO not perfect and that maybe even before my prodigal experience - perhaps part of me thought "my so called righteousness" had been enough... It never was, it never would be.  You CANNOT earn Heaven.  No matter "how good" you think you are.  You can't.  

"All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away."  (Isaiah 64:6)

I realized that when people I loved weren't there for me when I went through cancer - God was.  He never left me - even when I wanted to leave myself! Have you ever had times in your life when you can't even stand being around you???  I'm not "glad" that I went through cancer - it was horrific.  But I am glad I have a Father who said He would never leave me nor forsake me.  He would be with me until the end of time.  God doesn't walk away... We have the choice and the ability to walk away from Him - but you can bet He will do everything He can to show you how very much He loves you.  And once you know His love, you will never forget it or want to be without it.

What are you going through? The biggest lie of the devil is that YOU ARE ALONE.  I have felt that - there is nothing worse than loneliness.  Moments where you feel like  you are in such a dark place and no one cares. No one is there for you.  That is a lie. GOD IS.  Really.  When you feel like that you have two choices, you can either allow yourself to become immersed in the darkness and wallow in it. Or you can cry out "Abba Father!!!" 

I don't have all the answers, but I can surely point you towards the One who does. Whatever you are going through:

 He is an ever present help in the time of trouble. (Psalms 46:1)

If you don't read anything else in this blog - read this:  God cares. He loves you. He sees you. You are not alone. He desires to bless you abundantly - its in His word.  There is so much than what we can comprehend.  Even when we don't understand the "why" of things we can trust that God does.  Jesus is referred to as "the Good Shepherd." In fact:

"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." (John 10:11)

That's exactly what Jesus did for you.  Now THAT is love...

"What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?  When He has found it, He lays it on His shoulders rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost" (Luke 15:4-6)

That is the type of God you have. One who will find you, lay you upon His shoulders - rejoicing all the way, even if it was your own fault for getting yourself into whatever situation you got lost in.  (Which I don't know about you, but totally describes the stupid things I myself do.  I guess that is why sheep are referred to as some of the stupidest animals ever created, and we are compared to sheep...) 

Listen, there may be some situations going on in your life right now that you just don't know how to get out of.  Perhaps you are standing there in the middle of a situation like a deer standing in the headlights of a car.  You don't know how to get out of the situation or what to do.  You feel mesmerized.   It is outside your knowing what to do.  It may be outside of yours, but it is not outside of God's and it doesn't matter what the situation is.  God is bigger than your situation and perhaps He has allowed you to get to the point where you are because He knows that there will be a point where you realize the only thing you can do is ask Him for help.  Admit that you cannot handle it.  When you reach that point, you can trust that He will step into the situation.  It may not be an overnight fix.  There maybe things that God wants to show you about yourself that led you to where you currently are and He wants to reveal them to you.  Let Him.  Let Him give you a better understanding of YOU.  After all who knows you better than He does?  Once He has given you that understanding, chances are you will walk away from the situation or problem because you realize that it wasn't what you wanted at all.  Perhaps the best choice for all involved is for you to walk away from it.  Listen to whatever God is telling you, because it will continue bothering you and nagging at you until you do.  At the same time, be patient with yourself.  Sometimes we are so busy beating ourselves up that God is just standing next to us saying, "Are you done yet???"

Life is a journey of discovery and lessons.  As long as you have breathe in your body you will be learning and growing and discovering - if you allow God to show you.  A life worth living is one where you know that God does exist and He loves you, and He knows you and He definitely created you with a purpose in mind.  Believe - that is the first step, one that will allow you to experience and see what wonderful things God will do in your life.  Because given half the chance, He will...