No doubt about it - change is hard! Whether it is to change your mind, change your heart or change your walk! I've always been a creature of habit, a planner, someone who likes knowing what to expect! Sometimes God wants us to get out of our comfort zone and I like that just about as much as I like getting up in the morning! (I am not a morning person).
My conversations in the morning usually go something like this...
I lay snuggled up underneath a new electric blanket that someone recently gave me for my birthday. The blanket all the way up to my chin, basking in the warmth. Just then my iphone alarm clock goes off...
"Nooooooooooooo!!!" I groan in my head pulling the covers tighter around me. "No Lord, it can't possibly be time to get up..." But it is... "Would it have made such a difference in the grand scheme of things if I had been born rich???" I ask Him outloud while attempting to pull one leg out from under the covers. I'm a mom and "the grown up" in the family so I have to get up because if I don't my kids won't. Usually at this point I sigh a dramatic sigh to God. "Okkkkkaaaaaay... Here I go..."
Yet at the same time, regardless of what events are going on in my life, I'm so thankful. It seems like the older I get the quicker time goes by. How is it almost Thanksgiving already? Christmas commercials playing on TV. I'm STILL not over last winter and yet here we go again. How is life speeding up so fast? I don't remember it going by this quick when I was younger.
Change.
There are so many moments in life I wish I could just hold tight to in the palms of my hands. We take so much for granted. We expect tomorrow. We live like that expectation. Being a cancer survivor, I wake up and one of the first thoughts in my head truly is - I'm SO glad I'm here another day. Thank you Lord for this gift! Each day is blank sheet of life to write on, we need to write well! What is the story of your life? What are you writing upon the blank pages? Are they things that you will look back on fondly? Or things you will look back on wishing, "I shoulda, I coulda, woulda, but I didn't?" I find myself like a child who has walked into an "all you can eat" restaurant. The restaurant being life. And I point to something and I say, "I want to try some of that! And some of that! And yes - even a little bit of that over there!" Life is precious, even during the hard times, even during the times of change. Sometimes change is for the better. I try to remember during the times when life feels excruicating that I am blessed regardless. There are many breast cancer survivors, my pink sisters who I know who have not been given a second chance at life. I often wonder, "why me Lord? I am no different from that precious woman... Why me?" But it is not for me to know. Only to know that the bible says:
"The number of my days He will fulfill." (Exodus 23:26).
Be thankful. Even in change. We don't know the whole story - but God does. Sometimes the changes (storms) that hurt the most bring about the most beautiful rainbows. I truly believe that. You just have to ride it out with the expectation that God knows what He is doing. Even when we don't feel like it.
When I was going through chemotherapy, I stayed in my childhood home. My mother helped me take care of my two children. We use to gather around the dinner table and mom started this tradition. We would go around the table and each state three good things we were thankful for that had happened in our day. It became a family tradition (along with pizza Fridays! We either bought pizza or made it!)
This thinking of three things we were thankful for, three good things that happened to us helped us to focus on the positive and not the negative. There are always things we can be thankful for, no matter how hard our journey has become.
Change. One thing you can be certain of. I have found that it has become a matter of perspective. I've had a lot of change in my life - more so this year than ever before. At first I was so saddened by all the change for most were things that were doors closing and endings where I wanted beginnings. Disappointments and the continued knowledge that you can't control what anyone else does or the decisions that they make. But you can control how you allow those decisions to affect you. It's interesting to me, because sometimes God allows you to see why He has allowed certain doors to close in your life (it is for your own good) and other times, He doesn't. But you can bet He always has your best interest at heart.
"I will not give you more than you can bare." (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Sometimes through the pain of a situation you may want to cry out to Him. "Okkkkkkaaaaaaay!!! Owwww! That's it! No more!!!" Yet He knows what He is doing. He is molding you into what He wants you to become. Growing pains. Think about that beautiful flower you may have noticed this summer and admired. Once it was a seed planted deep within the soil. No one could see the changes that were occuring because they happened below the surface. Before that blossom blossomed it was reaching and stretching through layers of dirt to be able to reach the rays of the sun. No one above ground could see what was happening deep below. But one day it reached the surface and eventually became the beautiful blossom you admired. Aren't we like that? God's desire is for you to bloom. We can plant that seed, we can water it but it is God who provides its growth. It is God who brings forth it's beauty. Stop fighting against what God is doing in your life. Even if it hurts. You will come forth as gold.
Three things I'm thankful for today:
Change... I realize what I had thought was God's best for me, was just a pipe dream. An illusion. It wasn't what I thought it was. It wasn't real. It was a mirage. I had pinned my love and my hopes and my dreams on someone who deceived me and lied to me and hurt me, intentionally without any thoughts or consideration of my feelings. My perception was wrong and in the process, my heart shattered because I put my trust and love towards someone who didn't deserve it. BUT here is the thing. God is rebuilding me. God is renewing me, God is strengthening me. I feel like the bionic woman. "I am wiser, more patient, more compassionate, more knowledgeable, more understanding - towards others and about myself." The stem to this rose is more durable, able to weather bad weather and able to appreciate the sun when it shines. Able to stand up a little stronger. Beloved, someone who loves you, won't purposely hurt you. The Bible says:
"Love your neighbor as yourself." (Mark 12:31)
If someone doesn't know how to love themselves, they can't possibly know the correct way to love someone else. They simply don't have the knowledge within them or know how. It's sad, but true. Perception. (God's best will hold up when carefully examined. It's worth, proven over and over again. The difference between a diamond and a cubic zirconia. While both are similar, only one is the real deal and it will prove itself over time and after much testing - and it won't turn your finger green... LOL). Why would anyone settle for less than God's best??? (I'm still trying to figure that out for myself...). Change - the unexpected change - an undesirable ending to a fairy tale, but with the ending the expectation for eventually a new beginning, better than any "fairy tale" because it holds up throughout the end of time. Scary but exciting at the same time. Yet something to look forward to. God's best.
My health. When you have never experienced a life threatening illness, you truly have no idea how precious life is. It is true that if you have your health, you have everything! It is something we take for granted. I pray that each person reading this realizes this without having to go through an illness to appreciate each moment that they are given. Because each moment IS a gift from God and it can change in a moment.
My family and all those who have been there for me through good times and bad. Don't take anyone you love for granted. Hug them as soon as you stop reading this post... As we are not promised tomorrow, neither are they. It is a horrible thing when someone passes away and you never got a chance to tell them (or better yet show them) how much they mattered. DO IT. Love them up mighty much - you'll be glad you did.
Okaaaaay - those are MY three things for today. What's yours? Think about it. Have your family start a new tradition of sharing "three things that they are thankful for each day." God is good and life is precious. I wear a ring on my finger that I found one day. It made me smile and nod my head. It has written upon it: "Love the life you live." If you don't, maybe you need to make the changes necessary so that you can. I am. You should too.
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