Broken Vessels

There is a place deep within the depths of our being - that is a place only God can fill. We try so hard to "fill that place" with so many other things. But it was meant only to be filled with Him. You can see it all around you with those that don't know the Lord. But You can ALSO see it amongst Christians who are going through a prodigal's experience in their journey. I wish so hard that once we have given our lives over to Him - that he would just say - "Okay... I've got it from here." And we could just sit back and enjoy the ride for the rest of our lives. But unfortunately I have discovered that in giving my life to Him - it is something I have to recognize over and over and over again. The fleshly side of me takes over as if to say, "No Lord - we go this way..." And then I realize after a bit of time it would have been better if I had just let Him drive. How patient He is with us. How loving. How long suffering. Even when we make the same mistake over and over again.

Oh Lord forgive us for the times we've gone astray. For the times we thought we knew better then You. For the times we didn't understand that there is a reason why you have a book of rules for us. They are not because You are a "mean Father" but because you know what is best. Lord - I know even at this point in my walk - I have been reluctant to give you completely the reigns of my life. How ridiculous am I? Even at this prodigal point - I recognize I know nothing. But still I proceed. There is a war raging deep inside of me. One that doesn't trust enough I guess. One that doesn't believe that God has my best interests at heart. Even though the pathway I have wandered onto has been one that has filled my soul with unbelievable turmoil. Yet I continue. And deep inside I know - that this place inside of me - reserved only for my God cannot be satisfied by anything OTHER than Him.

I think it is at this point that we need to look deep inside ourselves and find out where is that "hole" that needs plugging? And why is it there? Like a boat that is taking on water and slowly sinking. I think that somewhere in the Bible we are referred to as "vessels." I know that we are like clay pieces. One thing I have learned - is that there are lessons to be learned throughout our walk - no matter if you are newly saved or been saved for over 20 years - like ME. There is always something new to learn. I'm noticing that there are hairline fractures in this vessel called "me." And things I had thought had been healed and fixed - are starting to show cracks. Only the soothing balm of the Father's touch upon these areas will keep these cracks from causing my vessel to shatter. But in order for that to happen - I have to be willing to submit those areas of my life to Him. And THAT is easier said than done. Why are we so resistant to get the healing help we need? He has made it so easy for us - why do we make it so difficult for ourselves?

My quoting scripture is a bit rusty - so please forgive me if I paraphrase and feel free to add what scripture I am referring to - for I sometimes can't remember. I know the Word of God is in my heart - its just the memorizing where it is in the Word that I haven't been quite disciplined in. (Sheepish grin).

I'm thinking of the scripture - I think it is Paul? Who says, "The things I shouldn't do - are the things I do." How living and breathing and relevant is God's word - even today. For it is still true.

I guess the most important first step - in journeying back home to Father - is recognizing those things within us that we need to give over to Him to change. He truly is the only balm that can heal the cracks within our soul. We just need to let Him. Its easier said than done - but its doable.