Why Does The Grass Always Look Greener on The Other Side of The Fence?

How many times have you looked upon someone else’s life – wishing sooooo your life could be like theirs?

"They have it all together…”
“I wish I was her…”
“Ohhh what a lucky guy!”

We look at them wistfully comparing their lives to our own – and suddenly ours seems sooo wanting… Or so we think… We do this naturally too. It’s not something that requires a lot of thought. But here is the thing… We only see on the surface. There are so many things about our own lives we take for granted… How does God deal with such “spoiled” children? I remember a commercial that use to come on TV for dog food (LOL) And the song went:

"My dog’s better than your dog… My dog’s better than yours. My dog’s better because he eats (brand name of the food) my dog’s better than yours!"

It was a catchy tune so it stayed in my head… Why did her dog have to be BETTER than someone else’s? Did it make her feel superior? Did it make her feel more important? Were there actual studies done to show that that brand of dog food made her dog “better than” the other dog? What was her proof? (Chuckles…) We do this in so many areas of our lives.
Here is where that transparent factual quality comes out in my writing... (Warning: I have a tendancy to tell it like it is... Ready?  Here I go...):  I am short and have an hour glass figure – which with having three children has become “rounder” by the year…. Or as the fashion magazines would say – “I am pear shaped…” Or if you take off the finesse off of it and strip it down to the bare facts..the three b's  (big b and b)…Well.. perhaps I shouldn’t spell it out… I think you get my point… ;P My brother on the other hand is a little taller than I with a small waist and a tight butt and very very handsome. In fact my brother is down right gorgeous. Long eyelashes, sweet smile – I think my brother is model gorgeous. Anyhow – the first thing that came out of my mouth to my mother was ‘Wahhhhhhhhh - It's not fair...You loved him more than meeeeee…” (yeah – like she had any “control” over how we would look!)

If you have curly hair (like mine) you want straight hair… If you are tall you want to be short… Fat – thin. And so on and so on and so on…. And that only handles the physical side of our dissatisfaction with ourselves. Can you imagine how offended God gets when we carry on so? To Him I’ll bet we are all “His” beautiful piece of work. He created each one of us. We are formed in HIS image. How offended He must get as we criticize what He created. “God – you should have made me blond, with long hair and blue eyes…” Who are WE to tell HIM what HE should do???? Yet we do.

How loving is our God. How long suffering… How patient… (Boy as I write this I begin to think more and more how glad I am that HE is God!) For you see I’m having a revelation that my list of dissatisfaction and grumblings has been quite long… Is yours too? Excuse me a moment while I repent… (Father forgive me… I’m so thankful that you are God and I am not….”)

However our society tells us “what to wear” “how to dress.” “what is cool” “what is not.” WHO is “Society ANYHOW??” And why do they know so much while the rest of us know so little?

And ohhh that only talks about the physical side… But how many of us do the same thing about everything in our lives? To the point where all the blessings you have become “bone dry.” You can’t even think about why you are blessed… You’re too busy envying Jane Doe her life, her marriage, her house – when in reality you don’t know what’s beyond the surface.

That didn’t occur to me until recently someone I love very much said to me. “You don’t know what it is like in my life. You think I’m happy all the time. You have no idea.” And you know – they are right. I have no idea. It hurts my heart to think that someone I love so dearly isn't loved and appreciated and happy all the time but its true what we think may not actually be the case… How often we assume so much… And you know what they say the word "Assume" breaks down to if you look at the word really closely... (Clears my throat, loosens my shirt color a bit...Enough said on that...)

Since I was a small girl - my parents would make Christmas really special for us by having a big social gathering on Christmas Eve.  My mother is one of the most kind hearted women  I know.  And no one can host a party like my mother... (oops did I just do what I said we shouldn't be doing?? Grins sheepishly..) But her Christmas Eve party tradition actually started out because my mother believed that no one should be alone for the holidays... Sooo she began inviting coworkers, friends, friends of coworkers, neighbors over to our house Christmas Eve. And she would have a beautiful buffet spread upon the dinning room table of assorted foods for people to choose from (all of which I will say she cooked and prepared herself...) A brightly decorated Christmas tree, Christmas music... good food, good company... And no matter who walked through that door - my mother always has something under the tree for them.  She got in the habit of making baskets of homemade Christmas cookies... From your rum balls, to your bar chocolate chip cookies to little itty bitty gingerbread men.  The party would go on throughout the night until the wee hours of the morning.  With us kids going to bed, the grown ups staying up socializing and than waking us up at 2 or 3 in the morning "after Santa had arrived."  How magical she and dad made Christmas for us.  And not only for us - but for all who walked through that front door.  You may have walked in hesitatingly if you were new, perhaps missing wherever it was you were from if you couldn't go home for the holidays.. But when you left my mother's house - you left with a full belly, a gift under your arm and a basket full of home made cookies - and maybe a new phone number of a new friend or someone that was attending the party.  But what ended up happening - was it became a yearly "reunion." Oh people enjoyed themselves so much and felt comfortable and at home that every year they would come back to my parents house for Christmas Eve. Even till this day.  My father died 8 years ago.  The year he died my mother said to us quietly, "I don't know if I'm going to have a Christmas Eve party anymore..."  She had been doing the party for over twenty four years.  My brother and I supported her in whatever it was she wanted to do. She needed to do "what was right for her."  She had lost our father - her best friend.  It had to be her choice... BUT as the holiday drew nearer my mother went into "Holiday mode" automatically.  Began baking her cookies, making her spread and you know - it occured to me that not once has my mother ever sent out an invitation.  Not once.  It has become such a "tradition" in the lives of all my mother and father have touched.  That over the years - the same people have just "come on their own  accord." It's been  a "given."  And it is wonderful and it continues to be wonderful.  That first Christmas my mother was without my father so many people came and "loved her up mighty much."  "Paid it forward" if you will... (See one of my older posts that describes what that means).  They actually came up all through the night telling her how much their Christmas parties have been to them.  I don't think my mother realized how much loneliness she had (and continues to do) out of peoples lives.  Because she's just "being my mom."  You may never ever ever know what goes on in someone "who's life looks ohhhh so much greener than yours."  But instead of looking at it like that - why not think about how you can make someone else's life "greener." Because in doing so - you will find you can't "out-give love."

Wow - do you see that?  The grass in the yard of my life??? Is it ME or did it just get a "little" bit greener?