The Gift That Keeps On Giving... And Giving.. And Giving...

His Word is a Living Word. His love is the same today as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow.  Today is a gift - don't take it for granted.  I saw something that made me smile yesterday it was a quote that said, "Instead of saying Good Lord its morning! How about saying Good morning Lord!"

Yesterday I had a follow up appointment with my surgeon. As you can see by my post yesterday, I was nervous because I knew at this appointment they would review the pathology from my lumpectomy surgery. And I didn't know what to expect. I was a bundle of nerves and as I walked into the hospital to go to the Breast Clinic I tried to keep my eyes focused on my promises.

The nurse had me put on a gown, and it felt like time stood still for her return. When she walked into the room she looked at me over her glasses and said, "I have your pathology report from your surgery."  I think I bit my lip at that time. I know I held my breathe and my fingers were probably balled up real tight. I tried sooo hard to be strong but I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I was trying so hard to walk by faith - but in all honesty, I was terrified. I kept hearing the encouraging words of my brothers and sisters in Christ on FB in my head. She then told me after what felt like forever - "The surgeon got it all.  The margins are clear. You're cancer-free." I know I cried then. Tears of joy.  Tears of thankfulness.

These have been the longest 4 weeks in my life. Yet I have learned so much - and its not over yet because what has to happen now, is on August 10th I will have an appointment with my Medical Oncologist. She will review the pathology report in detail with me and determine whether or not I will go through chemotherapy to make sure there is nothing microscopic in my blood stream. They took 10 lymph nodes out from under my left arm - one of them had cancer cells in them. So they may want me to undergo chemotherapy and radiation. My feelings are whatever needs to be done - shall be done. This was the first day of good news in four weeks! I am rejoicing. BEYOND rejoicing. I'm so thankful for all the prayers, well wishes, thoughts.

What I feel most of all is a strong sense of responsibility. Our lives are gifts. Jesus gave His life for us. I also see all the things within me that need work. I am still missing the mark. And I know it. Thank God its grace that saves us. Its not by our works or that we "deserve" it.  Jesus took what "we deserve" as He hung on that cross. I've thought about that often. How did He do it? The sins of ALL of us - on that cross. There are things within me that I need HIM to change. I don't know how. But I can admit it. I guess that is the first step. Do you feel the same way? Like you long to be all that He wants you to be? PRAY. Talk to God like I'm talking to you. Tell Him the desires of your heart. Your struggles. Praise Him for what He is doing in your life. The lives of those you love. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. The one thing I've learned is that life is short. We're not promised tomorrow. We feel like we will always have tomorrow - but the truth is we won't. Last night i sat on the front steps of my childhood home and I listened to the crickets chirp and I watched as day turned into night and I felt so emotional. There was a sweetness I hadn't known before. And I've never been one to take life for granted. I've always felt as though "give me flowers (and let me give YOU flowers) WHILE we are ALIVE. Right now! For I won't be there to receive them when I'm gone." That's how we should live. Grateful. Thankful. Appreciative. Not letting little annoyances or pettiness get in the way. The Bible says "Do not let the sun go down on your anger." (Ephesians 4:26) You don't know what tomorrow holds. LOVE FULLY. "Father, thank you for your grace. For your mercy. For your forgiveness. I recognize that everything good comes from YOU. Forgive me for my sins, wash me with the precious blood of Jesus. I recognize that I am a work in progress. There are things within me that I cannot change. I don't know how. There are things about myself that frustrate me. If there is any emptiness inside me that I have tried to fill with something other than You I pray that you fill it. I pray that you be glorified in this life that YOU have given me. I have so many faults and things that need changing inside of me. But I know that you are my creator and that YOU have called me by name. I give this day to You Father. I give my life to YOU. Help me to live as You desire. Be glorified. I know that "Our lives are but breathes that appears for just a little while and than vanishes away." (James 4:13-17) Take my hand Father. Guide me. Use me. Be glorified in me. I need you, I want you - I love you. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

That's all He asks of us - that we look to Him. He's real. He's there. He loves you. He truly does. I'm putting my own life now - under a microscope. Because I know there are things that need changing. Cutting away, renewing. I'm by no means a medical person - I'd pass out at the mere sight of blood (lol) but you see - my Father - He is the BEST physician in all the universe. I just have to go to Him and ask Him for help... He'll never turn YOU (or me) away. And He is the best "pain killer a person can have." I perscribe to you Jesus - but know this - He's addicting! And THAT is a good thing!