Reflections and That Tiny Mustard Seed.

 Yesterday was a "Mustard Seed" kinda day. I went to the hospital for my pre-op appointment and the test results had come back from the lymph node biopsy (from under my left arm) - it came back positive for cancer cells. So during surgery they will remove my whole lymph pad from under my left arm. I was taken aback. In fact to be honest - I cried. The doctors had already suspected that would be the case, but I didn't. Reading the report myself it looks to me as though the biopsy shows "one positive node" and the rest negative. But even if that is the case, they will remove the whole pad and will study it under the microscope. My understanding is that this just confirms what we already knew - that I shall need to go through chemotherapy to make sure this kills off any thing microscopic. I understand that - and will go through whatever I need to - but I plan on killing all this off through PRAYER as well. So I ask you to please continue praying.  The weakness I feel is the emotional roller coaster that this has already begun to take on me.  Cancer is so inconvenient! (Winks at you - if you can't keep your sense of humor What can you do?)  Why is it that it is so much easier to believe and pray for someone else than for ourselves? I know that God is no respecter of persons. He doesn't have "favorites" He loves us ALL. How we are. Where we are. He sees us as WE WILL BE. We need to see us as we will be. What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see a person who is "filled with faults?" or do you see someone who is daily growing in Christ. Daily learning? One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:12 (and I've quoted this before) Now we see but a poor reflection, as in a mirror. Then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully even as I am fully known."  I don't know why God chose to allow me to go through this. Nothing can happen to us without His allowing it. But I do know that "All things work for the good of those who love the Lord." (Romans 8:28)  I thought I had become as humble as possible through my prodigal experience but apparently not.  You see - every good and perfect thing comes from our Father. I realize more and more that I am dependent upon Him.  And even though right now, I'm struggling with all that is happening so quickly with me - I know that I am in the "Palm of His hands." (Isaiah 49:16)  He didn't say it would be easy - but He did say He would never leave nor forsake us. Psalms 107 talks about His "steadfast" love. Steadfast - I like that word. Not changing, not leaving, not moving. STEADFAST. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him." (Lamentations 3:22-24) There is peace in that - isn't there? Feel it through whatever you are going through. Walk in it, meditate on it.  Hide His Word in your heart - it will come up like a bubbling stream inside of you. It truly is His living Word.  All of the scriptures that I have written in my blogs have come up from inside of me as I type and pray about what to write. God's Word is real, its true. Its our "Sword" I can't make someone "taste and see that the Lord is good" you have to do that for yourself. But when you DO. When you say "Okay Lord - if you are real - reveal yourself to me!" Watch and see what He does.  Because He is real. I did that 22 years ago when I was first told of Jesus. I said, "Okay - if YOU are REAL you need to make Yourself real to ME. Not because Sarah says so. Not because anyone else tells me to - or its what my family has always done - but because YOU are real." And I challenged the Lord to do so.  And HE DID. He has. He continues to. But it is a personal experience. You have to try it for yourself. But I promise you this - if you do say, "Lord come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior. I want to try you. I want to SEE if you are really REAL." Don't be surprised at what He does with those few words you say. I didn't expect anything - I didn't KNOW what to expect - but He did. He has and He will continue. HE IS REAL. But you have to "taste and see that the Lord is good." For yourself. I challenge you to do so. Just TRY Him. What have you to lose? TRY HIM. I feel like "Sam I am" from the Dr. Seuss series and one of my favorite books. "Try Him. Try Him and You'll see. Try Him and You'll see I say." (Laughing) Try Him. You'll not be disappointed and you'll have found the love of your life.