It has now been seven years since I started this blog. How quickly time goes by! We are many members but we are one in the body of Christ. Therefore you do not journey alone! Hopefully through this site you will be encouraged by the fact that many things you are going through in your own walk, others are going through (or have gone through) as well. Sometimes we think we are "going through things alone." But we are not. God said that "He would Never Leave Nor Forsake Us." (Hebrews 13:5) and that "There is Nothing New Under The Sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No man is an island. It's easy to forget that. May the words in this blog help you to think, encourage you in whatever spiritual state you are in and may the Lord use them to help us to grow in Him! He is the Author and Finisher of our faith!

I don’t want any readers to think that I am “promoting” being a prodigal. I definitely am not. But what I am hoping to do – is to encourage those of us who either have had or are currently experiencing a hard time in our walk to be honest about it. Personal conviction is a powerful thing, especially if you truly love the Lord. I think that sometimes the Body of Christ critiques and judges to the point where the person who is at the other end of that pointing finger feels ostracized, alienated and alone. I don't think that that is what Jesus intended. When I read through my Bible - I see a firm yet gentle restoration that Jesus ministered to those around Him. Look at John 21:15-19. When Peter who was at an all time low point in his walk - he was firmly, yet lovingly restored by Jesus. He didn't tear him down, or yell or make him feel any worse then he already did. He spoke to him lovingly and gently - and in doing so, Peter was able to repent and minister in a much more powerful, humble and confident way and it became one of the largest ministries ever.

Please note that I am only a vessel, my calling - to write. I dedicate this blog to the Lord and ask that He use it to reach out and touch whoever needs a special, loving, personal touch from Him. My hope is that the Holy Spirit allows you to see Him through the words (and not me). We go through things so that we can extend our right hand of fellowship behind us to assist and help someone else. Our Bible is the same today, as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow. (I am far from perfect and do not profess to have all the answers...) but the good news is - Our Heavenly Father does! His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy is real!Nothing you are experiencing in your walk comes as a surprise to Him! May He be glorified through this blog and may God bless you at whatever stage in your walk you are in!~

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor
I was diagnosed with early stage triple negative breast cancer on June 24th, 2010 - I have been cancer free for 7 years now. It was only a chapter in my life - NOT my life, but the impact is one that has changed my life forever. Its important for women to know that 80% of the breast cancer diagnosis come from women who don't have a history of it in their family (My family didn't). Early detection is the key. For more information please click on the pink ribbon above. It could save your life.


July 22, 2015

Don't You Think It's About Time to Change That Song?

There is a song that plays over and over again in my soul.  It was set there at childhood and has played throughout the course of my life – 48 years.  What are the lyrics to the song plays over and over in your soul?  You know the one – it is the one that was established when you were born; it is full of verses that you automatically go back to whenever you have a life experience.  Sometimes a life experience adds a new verse to the song.
What words have you been listening to about you?  They’ve been with you so long that they have become part of the fabric of who you are.  It could be that some of those verses need to be ripped out of you and changed for the message they set off is one that hinders you and doesn’t build you up or help you grow.

Are you stuck in a rut?  Are you going down a pathway that you have no idea how you got there, where you are going or where it will lead?  Are you feeling discouraged, hopeless, lost or frusturated?

God is saying, “Take my hand. Stop listening to the song who’s lyrics have been written based upon your life experiences and words people have spoken into your life and listen to what  I AM saying to you.  What I have said to you in my Word.  Stop believing the words spoken over your life by other people and start believing what I AM saying to you.  What I have said.  I have given you promises for a reason. LISTEN TO THEM.  LISTEN TO THE WORDS I AM SPEAKING INTO YOUR SOUL.  Believe them.  I am the same today, as I was yesterday as I will be tomorrow. "

Those verses from the song that has playing into your life can be hindering you for what God has in store for you.  It is keeping you off focus.  It is making you miss the mark.  It is keeping you from what God has for you.  Shut those lyrics out.  Who knows you better than He who created You?  It is not an easy thing to shut out the words that have been spoken over you, ingrained within you over the course of your life (especially if you are older in years) you have been leaning on that foundation for a good long time – and it has done you harm and not good.  It’s time to weed out some of those lyrics.  You alone know which of those lyrics need to be replaced. If you don’t pray about it – let God reveal to you that which is true and that which has been a hindrance.   Uprooting can be a painful process.  The longer the weed has been in your life the harder it may be to pull it out by its roots, but in order to walk in the fullness of the life that God has for you – it needs to be done.

If you have been a prodigal and have repented -  don’t go back to those old familiar, sometimes comfortable ways because there is a sense of familiarity that comes from them.  Move forward, trust in Him.  This can be scary – it’s called “walking by faith.”  It’s called, “Trusting.”  It can mean that you are moving out of your comfort zone into unfamiliar territory and it can be scary.  But with the travel comes God’s peace.  Let GO of what you are familiar with and trust HIM to direct you on higher ground.  There is a peace that comes with trusting and doing this once you get past the scariness of letting go with what you are familiar.  There is a higher calling that you can only experience when you let go of what you’ve known and move forward to what God has for you.  (A great read to encourage you on your journey is a book called “Hinds Feet on High Places” by Hannah Hurnard – I may need to re-read that myself).

All I write here to you dear reader, I am chewing on and digesting for myself. It is so easy to get caught up in the "old messages" of my life.  One thing we need to remember is that sometimes ol'slewfoot uses those old messages to keep you discouraged and hinder you from what God has for you because he doesn't want it to come to fruition in your life because then God would be glorified! And that is the very last thing the devil wants.  For God's good and perfect will - your destiny to unfold and for you to walk in the victory that has already been won for you! He wants you to be be discouraged and think that God doesn't care, he's not concerned about the things that concern you, if He was why do you keep coming back to point "b"?  No! That is a lie and a well worn lyric that ol'slewfoot has been successful in using again and again, but here is the thing - he can only be successful in using certain lyrics IF YOU BELIEVE THEM.  So STOP.  Stop believing him and believe the One who knows! You are a song that God wrote from the day you were born! It's time you recognize it! God wrote the song of YOU not the devil!  If you find your life to be going around and around in circles and you feel like you keep coming back to the same place – it is time to evaluate and revisit what changes need to be made.  I am in the process of doing this in my life, myself and it is *not* an easy thing to do.  Your head and your heart will butt up against the lyrics that have been written throughout your life and you will feel like you are “swimming against the tide” or “going against the grain” but until you do this – you will continue to swim on in the same circles you have always swam.

It’s time for the seasons to change.  It’s time to re-evaluate and rethink.  What is God saying to you?  Who are you going to listen to? Re-write that life song you’ve grown up with, with the lyrics from the One who created you with a specific reason and purpose in mind.  After all, He knows you BETTER than anyone else.  He’s written the song of your life – you just need to listen to it, believe and respond.
The time is NOW.

July 6, 2015

The Rawness of Me - No there is No "Pretty Pink Ribbon" About it...

The Truth is God holds my life in His hands and sometimes our plans are not His...
This is where "walking by faith" and not by sight comes in. I trust Him, I believe Him, I love Him.
You can trust Him too. It's not about what God "does for us" it is about what God DID for us.
"For God SO loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have ever lasting life." (John 3:16). In the words of my favorite song - "For You my God are REAL no matter what I feel. You never let me go.  And what I know, is there will never be a day, You aren't just a breathe away and through it all I've got to hold to what I know. I could throw my fist in the air demanding answers, but in spite of all the questions, I'm still giving YOU my life. And if it doesn't turn out like I think it should it doesn't change the fact You're always good, Your ways are higher than mine..." (Lyrics from Tricia Brock's What I know)
They say, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger... I don't know about that... There are days when I don't "feel" strong. There are many days since cancer, that I just feel plain vulnerable. Cancer took a lot of things away from me and stripped me of a naiveté I didn't know I had. It showed me who would be there for me and revealed who wouldn't. It left it's mark on my body - but more than changing my body - it changed who I am. I found out about myself - I don't trust easy, I don't believe mere words, I know what it is like to believe people will be there and then they are not. I learned to grow dependent upon myself and upon God. I chose to become better and *not* bitter. Cancer (like a tornado)  took the screen door called bullshit clear off "the house of me," what you see in me is a woman who is genuine, who does not play games, who does not get caught up in drama, who does not sugarcoat, who is strong because she had no choice but to become strong. The tide of cancer washed away a lot of things in my life that I honestly had thought were solid, stable pillars. It made me realize what is really important and what isn't. My life use to be in beautiful water color type hues - but now it is in vibrant passionate colors.   I know what I want, to live an uncomplicated  "Henry David Thoreau" simplicity type of life in the middle of nature  - writing for the Lord, building people up, loving wholeheartedly and being surrounded by those I love.  I love fiercely with ALL that I am because I know that tomorrow is not promised to me. Wholeheartedly without reserve, without pretense, without games, without stipulations or hidden agendas or expectations or "strings attached." It sharpened my God given gift of having a discerning Spirit.  I can see through the bullshit and through games.  I notice everything (even if I don't mention what I see). I think that having experienced cancer gave me an "honest strength."  Yes, there is definitely a vulnerability within me - one that is so scared to screw up living. One can't help but feel a huge responsibility when one is given a second chance at life. The only zombies I believe exist are people who are living empty lives. Chasing things like a "dog chasing their tail" people who just don't get it - they want "MORE" and are never satisfied with what they have. They are superficial and one dimensional. They think there is someone or something "better" out there and what happens is they miss out on the blessing before them because they can't recognize its right in front of their very eyes. They are living, but really - they are who the Jones' really are - the walking dead.  It shouldn't take a life threatening illness for people to wake up to what is important in life - I think most of us think that the bad things in life "will never happen to us" - but it can and it does.  Cancer is no respecter of persons - be it wealth, race or age. So think about what you really want out of life.  Someone once said to me as a child, "If you have your health you have everything" - I didn't realize until after cancer how true that is.  Love double-fisted. SHOW people that you love that you love them - DON'T wait. SHOW THEM NOW. Tell them! People NEED to be told - and often!  If you have been hurt in your past, don't allow that past hurt from keeping you from being loved.  If you do, the only one who is hurting you - IS YOU. Holding back could keep you from the very thing you have been longing for. Life is waaaaaaay too short for that.  Be open to allow yourself to BE LOVED.  You just *might* be surprised. 

YES, I can admit to feeling vulnerable but I don't think that is a weakness. I think admitting it shows my strength. A person can be vulnerable and wise at the same time. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger - no, what didn't kill me made me wiser, took the pretenses off my life and showed me that all I want is to live a life of simplicity, honesty, and love and that I am not dependent upon myself - but on God who holds my life in His hands.  It also taught me to pay it forward in ANY way I can - I am doing just that because I know that the best is truly yet to come... Come "best" I'm ready for you.