It has now been seven years since I started this blog. How quickly time goes by! We are many members but we are one in the body of Christ. Therefore you do not journey alone! Hopefully through this site you will be encouraged by the fact that many things you are going through in your own walk, others are going through (or have gone through) as well. Sometimes we think we are "going through things alone." But we are not. God said that "He would Never Leave Nor Forsake Us." (Hebrews 13:5) and that "There is Nothing New Under The Sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No man is an island. It's easy to forget that. May the words in this blog help you to think, encourage you in whatever spiritual state you are in and may the Lord use them to help us to grow in Him! He is the Author and Finisher of our faith!

I don’t want any readers to think that I am “promoting” being a prodigal. I definitely am not. But what I am hoping to do – is to encourage those of us who either have had or are currently experiencing a hard time in our walk to be honest about it. Personal conviction is a powerful thing, especially if you truly love the Lord. I think that sometimes the Body of Christ critiques and judges to the point where the person who is at the other end of that pointing finger feels ostracized, alienated and alone. I don't think that that is what Jesus intended. When I read through my Bible - I see a firm yet gentle restoration that Jesus ministered to those around Him. Look at John 21:15-19. When Peter who was at an all time low point in his walk - he was firmly, yet lovingly restored by Jesus. He didn't tear him down, or yell or make him feel any worse then he already did. He spoke to him lovingly and gently - and in doing so, Peter was able to repent and minister in a much more powerful, humble and confident way and it became one of the largest ministries ever.

Please note that I am only a vessel, my calling - to write. I dedicate this blog to the Lord and ask that He use it to reach out and touch whoever needs a special, loving, personal touch from Him. My hope is that the Holy Spirit allows you to see Him through the words (and not me). We go through things so that we can extend our right hand of fellowship behind us to assist and help someone else. Our Bible is the same today, as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow. (I am far from perfect and do not profess to have all the answers...) but the good news is - Our Heavenly Father does! His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy is real!Nothing you are experiencing in your walk comes as a surprise to Him! May He be glorified through this blog and may God bless you at whatever stage in your walk you are in!~

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor
I was diagnosed with early stage triple negative breast cancer on June 24th, 2010 - I have been cancer free for 7 years now. It was only a chapter in my life - NOT my life, but the impact is one that has changed my life forever. Its important for women to know that 80% of the breast cancer diagnosis come from women who don't have a history of it in their family (My family didn't). Early detection is the key. For more information please click on the pink ribbon above. It could save your life.


February 29, 2016

Have You Thought About What YOU Want?

Not too many women would admit this, but in my usual “transparent” fashion I am going to simply share that I am going to be fifty at the near end of this year.

Remember when that number seemed so old???  Yet now, it doesn’t… Not quite.  I feel the same as I have at every age I’ve been… Only a bit more sentimental I suppose…  My body is not at the age where I can say, “I can’t do this anymore… I can’t do that…”  (For which I am very thankful).  Although I have an hour glass figure, I don’t feel “old.”  Perhaps “old” is just a perception?  I have always felt that as a person thinks, they are.

Honestly, I feel comfortable in my own skin.  As if I have said, “Okay me, you are never going to look like Malibu Barbie and I’m okay with that!”  I truly believe that sexiness is an attitude that one wears… It’s not a look or a fashion – it’s an attitude and its one that I have chosen to wear well.  You ARE what you think.
Now in saying that I will say that I find myself looking back on my life sentimentally,  I suppose we all have our regrets and at times I have regretted some of the decisions I made due to naiveté or to be honest – just plain ol’ stupidity.  Unwise choices, which have caused results that I have had to live with (ahhhh yes, that’s part of having had a prodigal time in my life) – but instead of beating myself up about it instead I remind myself of what I have learned from my experiences.  Have I grown? Have I become wiser? Have I learned? Has it made me a better person? More appreciative of God’s love, mercy, grace? And I can say, YES.

I suppose wisdom comes with age… I’ve learned much – but I still have far to go… But isn’t that life? As long as we have breath in our bodies, aren’t we learning? I think perhaps the danger is when we don’t recognize that there are things within us that we will always have to work on, always things to learn and change.  I think this is where it is important for us to ask ourselves (if we haven’t already) what is our purpose? What is our calling? God created us individually with a purpose, calling or reason.  Have you discovered what yours is yet?  If not – perhaps that is your next adventure.  Find out who you are and what you are called to do.  Oh yes, you have a calling.  A specific calling that was meant for only you.
I found myself in a really dark place last week.  Just a place of darkness where I could not seem to pick myself up and as I prayed myself through it, I realized that throughout my life I have always thought more about what other people wanted, and not what I wanted.  And I took a sticky on my desk and I posted the question, “What do I want?”  I’ve been thinking about it ever since.  What DO I want?  How about you? Have you ever thought about it? What do YOU want?  Now when you pose that question to yourself – don’t pose it in terms of what you want for other people, for your family, for your kids, etc.  BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOU?

The question is a lot harder to answer if you haven’t given it much thought in terms of thinking of yourself.
What do I want?  I’m not a materialistic person – I don’t care about materialistic things, so it becomes more a matter of my heart.  Although I would say, it would be such a relief if as a breast cancer survivor who was divorced with two children, if I didn’t have to worry about money.  I think there is no shame in saying – I want to be a giver. So – that’s an honest goodness desire, right?

“Lord, I want to be in a position where I can GIVE. Please increase my finances so that I can BE a giver.  Not one that is giving because I want recognition.  NO.  One who can give anonymously because there is NO BETTER feeling than knowing that you were able to help someone else…”
That is a desire of my heart.  When I look back at all the people God used in the Bible, He made that the case.  It’s hard to continue doing what you want to do for the Lord when you are constantly concerned about money.  I believe it takes away from the time that could be utilizing serving the Lord because you have this one constant worry – money.  So I suppose, in my case, I would admit that it would be nice not to have to have the constant worry of finances over my head…

What else do I want?  (Are you thinking of yourself as I write this? You should be…)

A love that is mutual a love where you build each other up, a passionate companionship type love. I believe strongly that a healthy love is one where you function not as I and me – but as us and we. The problem with a lot of relationships these days (my opinion of course) is people become selfish and think about their own needs and not the needs of their significant other (and visa versa) and the moment that occurs a relationship becomes a one way street which opens up emotional traffic jams of all sorts of issues. I desire a love that is comfortable, familiar, built upon communication, trust, affection, passion and love.  I believe that the term “equally yoked” does not only pertain to being with another believer – but it is with being with someone who shares your views on many of topics in this life.  Now in saying that – I don’t mean a “carbon copy” of “who I am” – a person who is their own individual, comfortable in their own skin – but compassionate, caring, loving and unselfish.   The Bible says, “Iron sharpens Iron.” That is how a relationship should be.  You both causing each other to grow, a partner in life, someone to be there in good times and in bad.  What is life without love?  Empty, lonely.  I don’t believe God meant life to be that way. I can honestly say that I know that loneliness is the worst feeling in the world. I don’t think there is any shame in admitting you (or in my case, I) want love.
Never have I been so aware of the truth in the saying I’ve heard time and time again, “If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.”  This is an area that we constantly take for granted.  Our health!  But our health is something that affects ALL other aspects of our lives!  As a cancer survivor – I can honestly say that never again will I EVER take my health for granted.

The older I become, the more aware of those around me who are much older than me are handling old age.  It is something I’ve honestly not given much thought to, because the alternative to getting old is dying and we all have within us a will to live FOREVER.  We were created to live forever.  We weren’t supposed to die.  But the sin of Adam and Eve brought death into the world, yet it did not dull our desire to continue living.  HOWEVER with growing old, I have noticed in the lives of those that are older around me, comes the burden with having to see those who are dear around us die, especially the older we get we start noticing friends, family and colleagues of the same age – die.  As we get older, our bodies don’t cooperate as much – those bodies that we didn’t pay much mind to perhaps because we didn’t really “think” about getting older.  It just is something that happens.  Recently, I have seen older family members struggle with having to deal with living in a world where many of those who lived around them are gone.  I can’t imagine how difficult that must be.
I suppose the only thing to do about that is to make SURE that those we love, know we love them.  TELL THEM.  SHOW THEM.  The one thing I am certain of (being a survivor) is that we truly DO live as if we are OWED tomorrow.  We are NOT.  God didn’t promise us tomorrow.  Yet we live as if we are owed it.  The truth of the matter is we need to appreciate and honor TODAY.  To try our best to make every moment that God gives us count.  You can never love someone enough.  There will never be “enough” days of being with someone that you deeply love – you will always want more.  But instead of thinking that way, think what you can do TODAY to make that person know you love them.  Those are the memories you will want to look back on. The memories you make with those you love today.

What do YOU want in life? What is important to YOU? Think about it – because thinking about it and acting upon it is time well spent… A great investment in you.  I think I'm worth it, how about you?

February 26, 2016

WEZE Radio Show - For the Love of Allan - Please listen and help!

A couple of weeks ago, God opened up the opportunity for me to share my breast cancer survivor testimony, talk about my Pink Sisters and most importantly tell of the support needed for Allan Roach - a very dear brother who is fighting colon cancer and needs our love, prayers and support.  Please help us as we try to assist Allan get the medical care he needs to beat this disease! Cancer is NO respecter of persons. PLEASE listen by clicking on the link below and forward the radio show to all your friends in the hopes that people will contribute to Allan's youcaring fund. Thank you!


February 3, 2016

Holding Out for God's Best

Are you in the business of "settling"?  Perhaps it's time you stop... There is nothing like receiving "God's Best."
Hold out for "God’s best." We often think we know what best is for us – and in doing so, we miss out on the fullness of God’s blessings. We accept mediocre instead of the fullness of the blessing God has for us and believe me when I say that it is so much more than you can possibly imagine. Don’t settle. I am starting to believe that we are so used to being beaten down and settling for mediocre that often we allow the fullness of the blessing of God to pass us by.

For the first time in my life – I see it. God’s best for me and it is so much better than what I ever imagined I would have, I deserved, I could receive… And I feel so unworthy and yet so honored at the same time… And like a timid deer I move a little forward in curiosity and then take two steps back in fear that God’s best will disappear. You see, I’m not use to receiving “God’s best.” It’s my own fault really, because I guess I just didn’t believe it existed… But it does. You simply just have to believe. You have to trust and sometimes – even when you aren’t capable of finding the faith to do just that, God blesses you with “His best” anyhow.

What does “God’s best” fill you with? It fills you with immense joy, love, happiness, hope and awe. It humbles you and fills you with appreciation. "God’s best" opens up the flood gates of thanksgiving that God would allow His best to be in your life and recognition of what you went without and never had and astonishment that you ever lived without it in the first place.

Our ability to accept “God’s best” is dependent upon our perception or our experiences. I have learned from my own experience that I have had difficulty receiving, difficulty believing that God wanted to bless ME. But last year, He did that. He blew me away. The lesson I am learning is that I have a hard time trusting God, and I have a hard time believing He wants to bless ME and I have a harder time still receiving. I am a giver and it makes me tremendously happy when God works through me to be a blessing to someone else but at the same time, God has shown me that He wants me to learn how to receive. Receiving is humbling, but sometimes we need to learn how to receive because it is part of the healing process God wants to do in our lives and often times (as we see in examples in the Bible) God works through people.

What are you praying for? What are you afraid to pray for? (Because you don’t believe you are worthy, or don’t believe God will answer prayer) what is it that is holding you back? We often forget that the Bible tells us that God knows our thoughts before we even think them! And even more than that He knows what we need even better than we do. He created us! He knows!

Are you praying for healing? Trust God, He is able. He did for me and He is no respecter of persons. He holds your life in His hands and He knows what He is doing. He is able. Keep believing, keep praying and keep your eyes focused on Him.

Are you praying for finances? (This is one that God is still working on with me, so even though I list it – this is a constant pray for provision that I daily pray and struggle believing God will answer – but He ALWAYS somehow provides). This is an albatross that has been a constant in my life but one that humbles me enough to know that it is God that I am dependent upon. I am dependent upon Him to provide and to make ways where I do not see ways. This is a constant trust issue. But again, God is able.

Are you praying for love? Are you used to being treated like a side salad or dish? Believe me when I say God wants better for you. God’s best is not one that is outside His will. “God’s best” is not one “where you have to share” or where your heart is being emotionally abused. “God’s best” is not one that leaves you hurting and alone. That is not what God intended you to have. So often we settle… That is not the will of God. “God’s best” is so much better than you could ever imagine. When He brings that certain someone into your life you experience the astonishment that you don’t know how you ever lived without them in your life. All of a sudden you realize that your world was in “black and white” and now it is in “extreme color.” You could write a thousand poems and love thoughts about that individual like in the book of Song of Solomon. You long for that person, their face is the first and the last one you long to see. And the most fantastic thing about it – is that God is mutually using you for that other individual in the way that they need to be loved as well. It is a two way street. The only “perfect love” is that which is found in loving and knowing Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior – but also in the book of Genesis, God said about Adam, “It is not good for man to be alone.” That requires a special and unique calling (and there are those that have been called to be single, but they recognize that to be their calling). When God brings the person He has meant you to be with, you realize why I didn’t work out with anyone else. There is a tremendous difference in having a relationship with “God’s best” and having picked someone else in your own choosing - in otherwise settling. When God brings His best in your life, He knows that it will be a relationship of mutual growth for BOTH of you. I know this personally, because I am experiencing now. And the way that you know it is real, is by the peace you both have in being together and the fruit of the spirit that comes out of your relationship. Honestly, there is no comparison. In each other we have found “God’s best” and after experiencing it – it’s all you could ever want, not perfect – but fulfilling…

Perhaps the only way we can appreciate God and look at the “Best” He has for us in ALL areas of our lives is to look back on our journeys – up until the point we are currently at, and remember all that He in His goodness and mercy has brought us through and to truly believe that God DOES desire to give us His best, but often times unless we went through certain storms in our lives, we would not recognize what that “Best” was, unless we had gotten through them. I can honestly say, that if all I have gone through in life is what I needed to go through in order to experience “God’s best” that I am experiencing now, I would go through it all again. Because truthfully – in this area of my life – “God’s best” is so much better than I ever imagined it would be. And it encourages me to believe Him for His best in all those other areas of my life that still need work on, because we are all "works in progress" and sometimes we simply need to believe sight unseen, by faith. Because God truly desires you to experience "His Best" in every area of your life.