Hello!~~~

Welcome!~

It has now been seven years since I started this blog. How quickly time goes by! We are many members but we are one in the body of Christ. Therefore you do not journey alone! Hopefully through this site you will be encouraged by the fact that many things you are going through in your own walk, others are going through (or have gone through) as well. Sometimes we think we are "going through things alone." But we are not. God said that "He would Never Leave Nor Forsake Us." (Hebrews 13:5) and that "There is Nothing New Under The Sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No man is an island. It's easy to forget that. May the words in this blog help you to think, encourage you in whatever spiritual state you are in and may the Lord use them to help us to grow in Him! He is the Author and Finisher of our faith!

I don’t want any readers to think that I am “promoting” being a prodigal. I definitely am not. But what I am hoping to do – is to encourage those of us who either have had or are currently experiencing a hard time in our walk to be honest about it. Personal conviction is a powerful thing, especially if you truly love the Lord. I think that sometimes the Body of Christ critiques and judges to the point where the person who is at the other end of that pointing finger feels ostracized, alienated and alone. I don't think that that is what Jesus intended. When I read through my Bible - I see a firm yet gentle restoration that Jesus ministered to those around Him. Look at John 21:15-19. When Peter who was at an all time low point in his walk - he was firmly, yet lovingly restored by Jesus. He didn't tear him down, or yell or make him feel any worse then he already did. He spoke to him lovingly and gently - and in doing so, Peter was able to repent and minister in a much more powerful, humble and confident way and it became one of the largest ministries ever.

Please note that I am only a vessel, my calling - to write. I dedicate this blog to the Lord and ask that He use it to reach out and touch whoever needs a special, loving, personal touch from Him. My hope is that the Holy Spirit allows you to see Him through the words (and not me). We go through things so that we can extend our right hand of fellowship behind us to assist and help someone else. Our Bible is the same today, as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow. (I am far from perfect and do not profess to have all the answers...) but the good news is - Our Heavenly Father does! His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy is real!Nothing you are experiencing in your walk comes as a surprise to Him! May He be glorified through this blog and may God bless you at whatever stage in your walk you are in!~



I am a Breast Cancer Survivor

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor
I was diagnosed with early stage triple negative breast cancer on June 24th, 2010 - I have been cancer free for 7 years now. It was only a chapter in my life - NOT my life, but the impact is one that has changed my life forever. Its important for women to know that 80% of the breast cancer diagnosis come from women who don't have a history of it in their family (My family didn't). Early detection is the key. For more information please click on the pink ribbon above. It could save your life.

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July 6, 2015

The Rawness of Me - No there is No "Pretty Pink Ribbon" About it...


The Truth is God holds my life in His hands and sometimes our plans are not His...
This is where "walking by faith" and not by sight comes in. I trust Him, I believe Him, I love Him.
You can trust Him too. It's not about what God "does for us" it is about what God DID for us.
"For God SO loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have ever lasting life." (John 3:16). In the words of my favorite song - "For You my God are REAL no matter what I feel. You never let me go.  And what I know, is there will never be a day, You aren't just a breathe away and through it all I've got to hold to what I know. I could throw my fist in the air demanding answers, but in spite of all the questions, I'm still giving YOU my life. And if it doesn't turn out like I think it should it doesn't change the fact You're always good, Your ways are higher than mine..." (Lyrics from Tricia Brock's What I know)
They say, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger... I don't know about that... There are days when I don't "feel" strong. There are many days since cancer, that I just feel plain vulnerable. Cancer took a lot of things away from me and stripped me of a naiveté I didn't know I had. It showed me who would be there for me and revealed who wouldn't. It left it's mark on my body - but more than changing my body - it changed who I am. I found out about myself - I don't trust easy, I don't believe mere words, I know what it is like to believe people will be there and then they are not. I learned to grow dependent upon myself and upon God. I chose to become better and *not* bitter. Cancer (like a tornado)  took the screen door called bullshit clear off "the house of me," what you see in me is a woman who is genuine, who does not play games, who does not get caught up in drama, who does not sugarcoat, who is strong because she had no choice but to become strong. The tide of cancer washed away a lot of things in my life that I honestly had thought were solid, stable pillars. It made me realize what is really important and what isn't. My life use to be in beautiful water color type hues - but now it is in vibrant passionate colors.   I know what I want, to live an uncomplicated  "Henry David Thoreau" simplicity type of life in the middle of nature  - writing for the Lord, building people up, loving wholeheartedly and being surrounded by those I love.  I love fiercely with ALL that I am because I know that tomorrow is not promised to me. Wholeheartedly without reserve, without pretense, without games, without stipulations or hidden agendas or expectations or "strings attached." It sharpened my God given gift of having a discerning Spirit.  I can see through the bullshit and through games.  I notice everything (even if I don't mention what I see). I think that having experienced cancer gave me an "honest strength."  Yes, there is definitely a vulnerability within me - one that is so scared to screw up living. One can't help but feel a huge responsibility when one is given a second chance at life. The only zombies I believe exist are people who are living empty lives. Chasing things like a "dog chasing their tail" people who just don't get it - they want "MORE" and are never satisfied with what they have. They are superficial and one dimensional. They think there is someone or something "better" out there and what happens is they miss out on the blessing before them because they can't recognize its right in front of their very eyes. They are living, but really - they are who the Jones' really are - the walking dead.  It shouldn't take a life threatening illness for people to wake up to what is important in life - I think most of us think that the bad things in life "will never happen to us" - but it can and it does.  Cancer is no respecter of persons - be it wealth, race or age. So think about what you really want out of life.  Someone once said to me as a child, "If you have your health you have everything" - I didn't realize until after cancer how true that is.  Love double-fisted. SHOW people that you love that you love them - DON'T wait. SHOW THEM NOW. Tell them! People NEED to be told - and often!  If you have been hurt in your past, don't allow that past hurt from keeping you from being loved.  If you do, the only one who is hurting you - IS YOU. Holding back could keep you from the very thing you have been longing for. Life is waaaaaaay too short for that.  Be open to allow yourself to BE LOVED.  You just *might* be surprised. 

YES, I can admit to feeling vulnerable but I don't think that is a weakness. I think admitting it shows my strength. A person can be vulnerable and wise at the same time. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger - no, what didn't kill me made me wiser, took the pretenses off my life and showed me that all I want is to live a life of simplicity, honesty, and love and that I am not dependent upon myself - but on God who holds my life in His hands.  It also taught me to pay it forward in ANY way I can - I am doing just that because I know that the best is truly yet to come... Come "best" I'm ready for you.

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