Ready? Aim... Shoot.... FIRE! Another One Bite's The Dust!

Aim, Shoot and FIRE!

Sometimes I feel like David must have facing Goliath with just a slingshot and a stone.  Only my slingshot is my faith, and my stones are the promises that God has given me in His Word.

Have you ever faced a problem with your knees trembling?  Everything within you tells you to "run and hide." But you hear a quiet voice reminding you that "God did not give you a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)

Jesus told us "Take my Yoke upon you, and learn from me. I am humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls." (Matthew 11:29)

I'm not sure if they still teach kids this - but when I was a kid in school, they taught us a song. The words went like this:  "He's got the whole world in His hands, He's got the whole wide world, in His hands, He's got the whole world in His hands, He's got the whole world in His hands."  We sang it innocently because we were told to (in music class).  But it is the truth.  Even His word says, "I have engraved you upon the palms of my hands."

He didn't promise us we wouldn't go through hardships, or storms or problems - but He did promise us that "He would never leave nor forsake us." 

I'm quite sure that David was scared as he faced that mean ol' giant.  But I think he also felt peace while he stood there because he recognized that the fight wasn't his.  He recognized and acknowledged that without God he could do nothing.  But with God, well "all things are possible."

With God on your side - there is no room for failure.  "The steps of the righteous are ordained by God." (Psalm 37). He ordained you. Your steps. YOU. 

Okay... I've got my slingshot.  Loading it up and aiming it at the current worry in my life... Down it goes!  Another one bites the dust!  It's your turn now... You GOT this! Because He has You.  Deep breath, exhale... Let it fly!

Jesus - Mary Did You Know Video - The Passion

Stop Yelling and Answer The Door!

It's for You and He's Not Leaving Until You Answer The Door....

The house is quiet... All I hear is the ticking of the clock on the living room wall. Seconds are going by that will never come back. Seconds that turn into minutes, that turns into hours, that turns into days, that turns into weeks, that turns into years...  How quickly time goes by.

I wonder how small we look to God? Did you ever wonder that?  Do we look to Him the way an ant hill looks to us?  It must seem so big to those ants at their viewpoint.  Do you wonder how God sees you amongst all the human beings there are in the earth?  Is it like one of those movies we see, where they show the earth from a distance, making it look like a turning globe.  Do you feel like you are reaching out your arms to God, jumping, yelling, stomping - wondering if He even hears you? Maybe there is a voice in your head saying, "Aw come on - why would He listen to you? He's got His plate full with prayer requests and peoples problems. What makes you think you are special? That He has time to hear your little itty bitty non-important concern?"

Don't listen to that voice.  It is the voice of the liar. He wants you to think that you don't matter, that your feelings don't count, that your life doesn't count that you are nothing more than a little ant standing on that ant hill.  The Bible tells us that   "He knows EVERY hair on your head." (Luke 12:7) You matter. Your thoughts, your life, YOU - you matter to Him.  In fact, you not only matter, He wants you to talk to Him.  He wants you to share your thoughts, your worries, your concerns - your life with Him.  He wants to be a part of your life.  He wants you to know that its "not about" joining a certain denomination or church (although it is good to be part of a place where you will spiritually grow and get fed).  It is about having a "personal" relationship with Him.  He's waiting to hear about your day.  Like a best friend waiting for the phone to ring, eager to pick it up and hear all about YOU.

He tells us "Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, or reap or store away in barns,  and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they?" (Matthew 6:26)

He stands at the door knocking. (The door of your life). And here is the beauty of His love - He will stand there knocking and knocking and knocking - not giving up, even while you are going through the course of your life, shutting out that knocking sound... Covering it up with daily activities, ignoring it.  But deep inside your heart, you hear it.  What will it take for Him to make you lift your head and acknowledge His presence?  Let Him show you that you are not a little ant.  Or maybe even better than that - that those little ants He created serve a purpose.  Even those tiny little ants matter to Him - and He sees them hard at work on that anthill.  How much more so does He see YOU?  Open the door and let Him in.  You'll be so glad you did! "Behold I stand at the door and knock if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with Him and Him with me." (Revelations 3:20)  Isn't it time you made a date with your Heavenly Father? Imagine going out to eat with someone who already knows ALL about you - but wants you to tell them anways?  Someone who is sitting forward in their seat hanging on to your every word.  Looking at you with pride and love and adoration simply because you let them in?  Someone who is TRULY interested in everything you are thinking and have to say.  Someone who wants to truly share with you.  See you succeed, bless you abundantly.  And all you have to do is open the door and let Him in.  It will be the best door you ever opened in your whole life.

"El Shaddai" Michael Card

Grown Up Musical Chairs.... Are You in or Out? How FAST Are You Going?



Don't Let Your Life Be Like Musical Chairs... Your Purpose is YOURS and YOURS alone! It Is What Makes YOU Special! Get Quiet, Be Still and Listen... It's as Plain as The Nose on Your Face.

How strange it is... When you think about... We spend all our lives searching for a purpose.  Most of the time that purpose is as plain as the nose on our faces.  It is so clear, that we sometimes miss the simplicity of it all... The gifts you have been bestowed - are gifts that perhaps you take for granted, because you have been doing them all of your life.  Maybe it began with a gift for music - your parents had you take piano lessons, and your gift expanded.  Maybe you saw it more as "becoming a well rounded individual" then a gift you were suppose to use throughout the course of your life....

He created us each with a purpose.  My guess is that that purpose is one that we were born with and have spent all of our lives trying to discover.  How ironic is that when you think about it? Everyone has certain things about that them that make them special.  How ironic is it that more often than not we don't even see those very gifts as special?  We take them for granted, we shrug them off.  We become like dogs chasing their tails when all the time the answer was right before us....

We were born with a purpose.   We were born with individual gifts.  Kind of like a napsack full of things to get you through this journey called life.  Things that make up your personality.  Who you are..... Do you know what those gifts are?  Have you figured them out yet?  Maybe the things that have happened in your life have made you deaf to the very things that make you special?

There is so much noise around us.  the noise of the world, the noise of our problems.  Louder and faster and more problems and more distractions - until we are SPINNING with it. Faster and faster and faster we whirl, sometimes not even being able to take a breath before something else captures our attention and distracts us further. Sometimes the noise of life is so loud that we don't *hear* the beauty in the life God gave us.  Like a scene in a movie where you see someone's lips moving, but you can't hear what they are saying.  Or maybe it's the pace of our lives... We seem to go faster and faster.  Our days are filled with so much that we think needs to be done that the hours so quickly speed by.... I had a thought today, that the same game that we played as little children - one called "Musical Chairs" has become a grown up version.... We are walking in the midst of crowds, going faster and faster and faster trying to live up to expectations that society has perhaps deemed important.  Kind of like trying to grab the seat before someone else does.  What are we trying to prove and to who?  More often then not - I think it is to ourselves.... What has to go on in our lives in order for us to be considered "good enough" or "prosperous enough" or "successful enough"  the world's standards of this change constantly.  And the noise gets louder, and our purpose gets quieter, and our sense of frusturation grows.  We don't know who we are, why we are, where we are or where we are going...

We were created to serve a purpose. We were created in love with a purpose in mind.  Somewhere along the way, we forgot the reason.... If we're not careful we'll miss it in totalilty and at the end of the song of our lives, we'll realize that the very thing we wanted most of all - love, peace of mind, happiness, well being - we had the tools to have that "abundancy" that God created us to have, the whole time.  We just weren't paying attention...

The Prodigal Daughter: You ARE A Love Song - of The MOST Beautiful Kind.

The Prodigal Daughter: You ARE A Love Song - of The MOST Beautiful Kind.: There is a sense of vulnerability that I think if we allow ourselves to admit - is part of being human. We were made in a vulnerable sta...

My Soul Desire (Deniece Williams)

You ARE A Love Song - of The MOST Beautiful Kind.

There is a sense of vulnerability that I think if we allow ourselves to admit - is part of being human. We were made in a vulnerable state. We were made out of love, by a loving Creator. Think about it... He gave us senses - to see, taste, hear, smell and feel.  Why?  Only a loving God would want us to experience all the pleasure (and unfortunately) pain that comes with our senses.

Maybe that is why He made us with a vulnerability that is as much a part of us being human as our senses. Maybe being vulnerable isn't a bad thing? It helps us remember that we are *not* and weren't meant to be Him. Maybe it allows us to see (if we listen to our hearts) that He made us out of such a deep, deep love. Maybe we aren't *meant* to be "perfect" that He loves us inspite of our imperfections.

If you get still and listen *real* close - you will hear more than your own heart beat - you will hear the cry of your heart. If you really are honest with yourself, you'll recognize that cry is for your Creator. There is a part of us - a very large part of our hearts that knows that it cannot be filled with anything but Him.  That emptiness you are feeling? Have you tried to fill it with something else? That is only a substitute.  It was meant for Him and ONLY Him.  That part of us is reserved for Him.  Whether we admit it or not - it is part of who we are. Part of who we were made to be.

My soul cries out for my Creator.  Although sometimes the sound of the world around me distract me (as it does you). But as round about things as we may go - we always come back to the need inside of us. The need for Him.

There is a thirst that can only be quenched with the recognition and acknowledgement of WHY we were created and for WHO.  Deny it, ignore it, drown it out - but it will always, always, always be there.  Testimony of Him is all around us. HE is all around us.

Our bodies are frail. They were made to be temples which house who we *really* are. They are a shell. Sometimes we don't realize how fragile they are until something happens to draw our attention to it. For me, it was breast cancer.  Why is it that we don't see what it is that has always been before us? That is why it is so important to respect your body. To take care of it. To praise Him for we are truly wonderfully and magnificiently made. What a God we serve? What a Creator... Every part of us was thoughtfully and lovingly put together.  Think about all the physical enjoyment He has provided our bodies to experience.  TELL ME that is NOT love?  He didn't have to make us that way.  Eyes to see, Noses to smell, fingers to touch, ears to hear.... We were made like a love song. And each time a life is created, it is a new song.  A one of a kind song.  How could you not love a God who is so full of love? No wonder the Heavens rejoice in praise and worship.  He is WORTHY of honor, glory and praise.  And I for one am glad - that no matter where I am in my journey.  No matter how many mistakes or "wrong turns" I make.  No matter where I feel I am spiritually.  There is a song in my heart - that is meant NOT for man.  But for HIM.

Only YOU Know How the Story Ends...

She wanted that balloon more than anything...

A short story - written by me... And by You...
Once upon a time, there was a girl walking along when she noticed a blue balloon, with it's string dancing in the wind just out of her reach.  Oh how she wanted that balloon.  She tried time and time again to reach for it. Straining, standing on her tippy toes to grab it - the balloon was always just out of reach.  She wanted that balloon... Oh how she wanted it.  Soon nothing else mattered to her except the need to have that balloon.  She ran after it and sometimes it even seemed to come closer to her.  To tease her.  She lost track of everything else but that blue balloon.  At times it was close enough for her to even see her reflection in the blueness of it.  But it was always just out of reach.  It played with her, it went around her.  Her heart's desire became that balloon. She would visualize what it would be like once she caught hold of the string.  How she would hold the string tight and run with it and dance with it and rub her face against it.  She had to have it.  She wanted it.  It was hers, now if only she could touch it. Feel it, hold it.

Soon the girl began to get discouraged.  Her arms and fingers ached from reaching and trying to grab that string.  She began to doubt that she would be able to get it afterall.  And for the first time, wondered who it had belonged to in the first place? How had it gotten away? Would it really be as good as she pictured it would be - to hold it? And have it?  She wondered how long she could last and would she ever get to hold the balloon? Or would she always be chasing after it - hoping, wanting, dreaming of holding it. She began to get angry at the balloon. Stomped her feet and demanded outloud that it come to her now!  But the balloon seemed to laugh at her, wave its string and drift farther away.

What ended up happening to that balloon? Did she get it? I would tell you, but it's ending is different for each person. The ending depends... upon the person and the balloon.... It is up to you.... The ending is for you to know... And maybe no one else... 'cept perhaps the balloon...

MercyMe - I Can Only Imagine

He Sees You When You're Sleeping, He Knows When You're Awake...

It's Easter weekend or Resurrection weekend as some like to call it... It is one of my favorite holidays because it makes me remember what Jesus did for me. How as He hung on that cross He looked through the course of history and saw ME... Have you ever used "Google Earth?" It helps map a particular address you are looking for by zooming in on the street from a satellite.  It zooms to the earth and then as you get closer to the section of the map the address is on. You can see trees, roads, and then there it is! The location you are looking for! An actual photograph of the house or residence.  It zooms down till you can even see cars parked in the driveway!  When I think of Jesus up on that cross. I think of how in His mind He may have zoomed through the course of history way down into the photographic life of ME.  Maybe that is what helped make being up there, palms nailed, feet nailed, side pierced tolerable? (If you can even USE such a phrase for a time like that?) Maybe the Holy Spirit allowed Him to see EACH and EVERY person He was dying on that cross for in detail.  Flashes of all of us. The reason why He was up there.  The reason He CHOSE to be up there for us.  Because He loves us... He saw YOU He saw ME and STILL He chose the cross.

Easter is also a time to me to reflect on the things that I need to change within myself. It "resurrects" all these feelings of inadequacy within me that I need to sort out. What is resurrecting in you? Whether you are celebrating Passover or Easter, it definitely is a Holy time. What is it that God is saying to YOU about YOU? For me, I see all my sins that Jesus died on the cross for. It humbles me. It makes me thankful that we are not living under the law anymore... It makes me appreciative of what He did. It seems to be a constant theme running in my head, "Nothing but His grace, His love and His mercy." But I also think that we can use that as an excuse not to try to change those things within us that need changing. He died for a reason.  He had a purpose.  What is your purpose? What is it that God wants you to do in your life? Each of us has a purpose, each of us have gifts.  God gave us the gift of His Son.

 "For God so loved the world that He gave His ownly begotten Son.  That whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) 

He gave us His Son.  What do we have to give? I know the response is "our lives" but have you ever looked at your life and thought... "Gee, it is in shambles... I'm not even sure what to do with it... Would he really want THIS? Sometimes I'm not even sure I want this... My life is dirty, its a mess. I can't give this to God." YES YOU CAN.

 "Though your sins are scarlet I will make them white as snow." (Isaiah 1:18)

What an amazing God we serve. We need to just give it to Him. Our lives. In whatever condition they are in. Let Him transform us. Sometimes it can feel like that is the hardest thing in the world to do. We doubt that God wants us, that we can really come to Him as we are. It's even harder to do if you are a prodigal. Because you are trying to make your way back to Him and your sins and doubts, and regrets and worries and inadequacies are all before you.  You can't hide them from Him. He knows. He sees what state you are in.  But here is the thing - HE LOVES YOU ANYWAYS.  See His hand? He's holding it out to you. His crucified palm is facing up to receive your hand in His.  Take it.  You may not think what a difference it will make - but you truly won't know, until you do it.  It WILL make a difference.  There is a reason why they call it a "personal relationship" with God.  What do you have to lose?  Look at the steps behind you... You have a choice.  You can either stay on the pathway you are on - which may feel mundane, may feel hopeless, may feel like you have no direction.  Or you can reach out and take His hand.  See where He wants to lead you.  He has a purpose for your life.  He created you for a reason.  There are things that He wants you to do that NO ONE else can do. Only YOU.  Yes YOU - He's talkin' to YOU.  Put your hand in His and let Him lead you forward or as the Bible says:

"Taste and see that the Lord is Good."(Psalms 34:8) 

No one can "taste it" for you. You have to try and experience it for yourself... Go on now, He's waiting... He's holding out His hand for you. Take it. You were born for a reason.

 "I knew you when you were formed in your mother's womb." (Jeremiah 1:5)

 Isn't it time you discovered all that He has for you? Your purpose? You have one you know. Maybe it's time to take His hand and discover what it is...

The Prodigal Daughter: Mirror Mirror on the Wall - Is that Your TRUE refl...

The Prodigal Daughter: Mirror Mirror on the Wall - Is that Your TRUE refl...: Who are you when no one is looking? The real you.  The one YOU are when no one is around you. We wear so many hats in our lives - in our da...

Blake Shelton - Who Are You When I'm Not Looking (Official Video)

Mirror Mirror on the Wall - Is that Your TRUE reflection or is there MORE?

Who are you when no one is looking? The real you.  The one YOU are when no one is around you. We wear so many hats in our lives - in our day.  We put up so many shields, or walls - because we think that is what we have to do.  Sometimes we do it so well we don't even know who the real us is anymore.  Our lives move at such a fast pace sometimes we can't even keep up with it.  Who are you?  Do you even know? Who do you want to be? Do you have faith in yourself? Or are you so busy being what you think everyone wants you to be that you have lost track of who you are?  And if you have - isn't time you re-discover (or even re-believe) in yourself?  The thing is - it doesn't really matter what people think when it comes down to it.  When you look back over the course of your life, will you have lived to please others? Or will you look back on your life with a satisfied, "yeah, I said what I had to say, did what I had to do - and did it well."

What really matters?  There is no perfect person out there.  Sometimes the standards we set for ourselves are so high that we can't possibly fulfill them all.  Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.  We measure ourselves up to "The Jones" - WHY?  What is so special about "The Jones" that we have to compare ourselves to them?  What a boring place the world would be if we were all "carbon copies" of each other.  How bland that sounds.  I almost feel sorry for "The Jones" because the pressure to stay where they are must be so high.... Celebrate you. Take down those walls - perhaps they only are there because of your fear of rejection? Of not fitting in?  (Of not fitting in WHERE? And do you really want to be some place where you are being made to "fit in" to a mold that perhaps is not you?)   I hope the words of my blog are making you really think.  If you strip away all of the special gifts God has given you that have made you the individual you are - it is like a meal without flavor.  God made you as individual as he did your hand print.  It should be celebrated - NOT hidden.  Don't allow others to measure who you are. When we do that, we feel all the things we shouldn't "envy, jealousy, low self-esteem, anger, depression" so what is upside of that?  Makes me think back on the childhood fairytale "Snow White."  The Queen's self-esteem revolved around being the most beautiful woman in the Kingdom.  "Mirror, mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all?"  When the mirror answered "Snow White" all those insecurities came to the surface.  Remember?  If the Mirror had answered back - "Queen, why are you worried about being the fairest? Look at the beauty that is deep inside of you, you have this, this and this gift..."  Perhaps the story would have changed into a different one?  What is YOUR story? Have you spent your whole life comparing yourself to someone else?  How is that working for you? Think about it...

Who am I?  I realize I have been my own worst critic.  I think in reaching my forties, I began to really discover who I am.  The popularity contests that happened throughout school years didn't much matter anymore - as many of those people are no longer in your life, and you realize - what they "thought" really didn't matter much, we were together only because we were in the same situation. Who were they to determine who I was?  Why did I give it so much importance at the time?  What a waste of ME. Now I know,  with my forties came self-acceptance, yet with the willingness to try and change within myself those things I feel need changing. (Notice I said the things I feel need changing).  I am a work in progress (as are you).  I have become less judgmental and more forgiving of myself (as well as of others).  I truly do see now that it is not by works, I have been saved.  It is by God's grace and if HE can be graceful and forgiving and patient with me, perhaps I owe it to myself to be the same?  If He loved me enough to die on the cross for forgiveness of my sins - don't I owe it to Him to try and honor Him with the gifts I've been given?  To "pay it forward" when it comes to sharing my weaknesses, my mistakes and what I have learned from the lessons He has been taking me through? Isn't that why we go through things? To learn, to grow, to share - to become what He wants us to become?  And it is not an overnight process.  I believe that as long as we have breathe in our bodies - we will always be learning - hopefully striving.  And you know what? I think that is more than okay.  I think its life...

Just a "little" Note

It's late... And I'm wide awake... And my mind keeps going and going and going... I've been thinking (which is always dangerous)... That  our lives are like songs... They begin when we are born - one note and swell and grow as we move through this song called "Life."   People come into our lives - like other notes, causing friction, making sweet harmony... The song becomes more vibrant.  The notes "dance" around each other.  Some high, some low.  Sometimes the music crescendos - going faster and faster and faster and sometimes the melody is sloooooow and almost lazy.  There is a beginning, middle and end...  What is the song of your life? What is your passion? What is your pain?  What do YOU want for you?  What gifts do you have? What are you doing with your life? If your life was "this song" what kind would it be? And do you even "like" the song your life is making?  If not - what are you doing about it?  What song has God given you?  And are you listening to the song of your life closely???  Do you think about who else may be listening to it?  Will the notes "linger" when the song is over? Will your song be remembered? Will the Conductor of your life applaud you for your efforts?  Have you let Him conduct it? Or is your song all over the place? Making you and those around you dizzy?  Or is the Conductor running to you to take you in His arms and say, "Oh my child, this is the song I had for you and THIS is what you settled for...

What is your life song? There is still time for you to change it.... Sit quiet for a while, and look deep inside your heart.  It's there....  You may just have to listen closely.... You have a song.  And the beauty of it is there is no song like the one You have been given, it was meant to share with others - not to keep tucked quietly away. Share it... Because you may never know how many "someones" need to hear it.  A song is always best shared...

Save a Child's Life from Capture, Maiming and Killing Let's Catch this horrible man!KONY 2012

When you cry - The Winans

You Can't Put a "Band-Aid" on a Wound That Needs Stitches....

God Knows Your Thoughts Before You Even Think Them....
Don't You Think It's Time You  Told Him, Yourself?
*Image from Imagebank.org.UK

I've been thinking a lot about my blog and I strongly feel I need to indicate this... When I get a revelation I like to share it. A prodigal to me - is someone who is feeling spiritually "stuck." Recognizes that they've gone down a pathway that was not intended for them to go, and doesn't know how to get back on the pathway God intended for them.  Maybe there has been a bend in the road - and instead of going in the "right" direction you've veered off course for whatever life reasons you have (or choices you've made).  You are struggling with a whole bunch of emotions or feelings over what has even led you to a prodigal state. That actually has been the type of prodigal I have been.  Now when I refer to "prodigal" it is not a state that one is looking to "stay in" but to understand better WHY they are there, WHAT led them there and what can they learn from the experience as they make their way back to the Father.  Please remember as I have indicated in previous blogs that your Father is already RUNNING down the road to meet you halfway. The thing is YOU have got to want to go the distance.  You have got to want to figure  out where you went wrong, why and how to get back to a better spiritual state than what you have been or were previously in.

It is not excusing the things you've done OR using being a "prodigal" to stay in that state.  I can tell you what the signs for me were that I had become a Prodigal.  My peace was gone.  There has been indecision and confusion and recognition that I have missed the mark.  I am very transparent in my walk  with God.  I don't see any reason to lie about it because He sees EVERYTHING.  I could never understand how Adam and Eve thought they could hide from God.  You can't DO that. He sees EVERYTHING.  So if you are feeling as though you are not right with Him (as I have felt) you need to bring it to the Cross.  Maybe sit in a place that is quiet and talk out loud to Him.  Tell Him where you are at.  How you love Him.  How you long to be right but perhaps don't know HOW to be.  How you don't want to lie to Him about where you are at right now - but that perhaps He will help reveal to you - WHY you went down that wrong road, if you are still "traveling" that wrong road and what He wants you to do to get it right.  Sometimes we stay on that pathway because we don't know "how" to find our way back or feel as though we don't deserve to come back.  Well - this is the lesson that I have learned in being a Prodigal.  It is probably one of the most important spiritual lessons I've learned in my 24 years of being a Christian - and one that is easy to forget.  We have never ever ever ever "earned" salvation.  It is a gift.  We could "never" be  good enough.  It is by the shed blood of Jesus Christ that we are able to come into God's presence.  

God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that Whosoever Believes in Him shall NOT perish but have ever lasting life. (John 3:16)  

Even before we came into a "prodigal state" we were never good enough.  But I have learned from my own experience that we beat ourselves up sometimes - enough so that we don't leave the state we are in because we feel unworthy.  God LOVES YOU.  He loves ME.  He knows YOU better than you know yourself.  Don't stay in stagnant waters because you aren't willing to step forward and move to meet your Father halfway.  As I am writing these words I am ministering to myself as well.  Because there are some paths that are harder to leave than others. Recognize that and move forward anyways.  The dangerous part of being in a prodigal state is STAYING there.  (Look at what happened to King Saul, it didn't have to be that way. He chose to stay in that state).  Be honest with God.  If you need help - ASK HIM.  I read a couple of things that greatly ministered to me today.  It was like the soft spoken word of my Father speaking to me.  Because I too am still trying to figure it out as I go. But He knows, that I am trying to get out of the Prodigal state I have been in and it isn't always instantaneous. Sometimes, it takes time.  The first thing I saw today was this:

"There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still." (Corrie Ten Boom)

God knows your heart, He loves you.  "Behold I stand at the door and knock."  (Revelations 3:20)  Get quiet before Him - listen, can you hear Him?  He's knocking.  It may take you a while to get through the mire to open the door - but at least start walking towards the direction of His knock.  What is your heart telling you? Don't worry so much about what others think of you.  That is not important - everyone has their own opinion and some Christian brethern make it "worse" instead of better. (Maybe because they don't realize truly for themselves that it is NOT how good you are? Or they are too afraid to look at the plank in their own eye while trying to remove the sty from yours... We ALL have things we need to work on. I believe as long as we have breathe in our body that we are constantly learning, growing - but you have to be honest with yourself and if some of our brothers and sisters in Christ were really being honest, they'd work on the things that needed changing within themselves instead of tearing down members in the body who are struggling, hurting or weak.  (Uhoh I think I've just opened up a can of you-know-what... LOL)  However it's true.  When you get a papercut on your finger - your whole BODY feels the pain.  That is how it should be with the Body of Christ. We are many members - but one in the body (1st Corinthians 12:12).  I don't believe that God would have the body attack itself... Hmmmm come to think of it - isn't that called "cancer?"  There is no place for it in the Body.  Believe me, I know...  And I think that God talks about the troubles within each of the churches in the book of Revelations.  Church should be a healing place. Not only for those that don't know the Lord - but for those that DO.  Sometimes the pain is so strong that it radiates outside of the Body.  We need to be there for each other - to heal, to help, to build up. To love, to encourage and then to rejoice and praise God for what He's doing.  It is time to clean-house so that we can grow and heal and become stronger. That is my honest opinion....

It doesn't matter what other people think of you... What matters is what God thinks and God loves you.  It's His voice that you need to hear.  For me, He speaks quietly.  He speaks lovingly - even when I feel like I deserve to have Him yell at me.  But He doesn't.  He may be very displeased with my sins (I know He is...) - but He ALWAYS loves me. God continues to be faithful to us in the midst of our messes.

Don't try to put a band-aid or to air dry a wound in you that needs stitches.  That needs a washing and a kiss from God to heal it.  Don't ignore the pain or continue on as though nothing is wrong.  You know it is.  Get in a quiet place where you won't be disturbed and speak your heart to your Father who created it in the first place. Pour it out in your prodigal state. Let Him meet you halfway.  He is the BEST physician.  He made you - He has plans to prosper you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Let me also mention this... It's not going to be easy. It may be painful.  Remember when you scrapped your knee and you came crying home and your mom or dad had to wash it to clean out the dirt and add some healing ointment to it - it stung! If you are in a prodigal state - its going to be painful turning away from whatever it is... There are consequences to sin. But don't let that keep you from moving forward - step by step.  Because I believe it will be worth it. (And don't think I'm giving you advice I'm not trying to walk in for myself).  Be patient with yourself to do it - but DO it! So that next time - when you have continued on in your walk, you come to a fork in the road again - and you say, "Nooooooo way... I've learned my lesson and I'm NOT going to make the SAME mistake twice!" Maybe you'll look down at that "scar" on your knee that is left from the remembrance of that "boo-boo" - you know the one that God brought you through - better, stronger and faster? The one that drew you closer to Him.  And you'll be able to stay on the pathway He meant for your life with a finer appreciation and knowledge of who you truly are in Him.  Once a prodigal always a prodigal - does NOT have to be true.  In fact it wasn't meant to be true.  So WHAT are you going to DO about it?  It all begins with a conversation... He's waiting... How about answering the door?

We Will Stand

Casting Crowns - Does Anybody Hear Her