It has now been seven years since I started this blog. How quickly time goes by! We are many members but we are one in the body of Christ. Therefore you do not journey alone! Hopefully through this site you will be encouraged by the fact that many things you are going through in your own walk, others are going through (or have gone through) as well. Sometimes we think we are "going through things alone." But we are not. God said that "He would Never Leave Nor Forsake Us." (Hebrews 13:5) and that "There is Nothing New Under The Sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No man is an island. It's easy to forget that. May the words in this blog help you to think, encourage you in whatever spiritual state you are in and may the Lord use them to help us to grow in Him! He is the Author and Finisher of our faith!

I don’t want any readers to think that I am “promoting” being a prodigal. I definitely am not. But what I am hoping to do – is to encourage those of us who either have had or are currently experiencing a hard time in our walk to be honest about it. Personal conviction is a powerful thing, especially if you truly love the Lord. I think that sometimes the Body of Christ critiques and judges to the point where the person who is at the other end of that pointing finger feels ostracized, alienated and alone. I don't think that that is what Jesus intended. When I read through my Bible - I see a firm yet gentle restoration that Jesus ministered to those around Him. Look at John 21:15-19. When Peter who was at an all time low point in his walk - he was firmly, yet lovingly restored by Jesus. He didn't tear him down, or yell or make him feel any worse then he already did. He spoke to him lovingly and gently - and in doing so, Peter was able to repent and minister in a much more powerful, humble and confident way and it became one of the largest ministries ever.

Please note that I am only a vessel, my calling - to write. I dedicate this blog to the Lord and ask that He use it to reach out and touch whoever needs a special, loving, personal touch from Him. My hope is that the Holy Spirit allows you to see Him through the words (and not me). We go through things so that we can extend our right hand of fellowship behind us to assist and help someone else. Our Bible is the same today, as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow. (I am far from perfect and do not profess to have all the answers...) but the good news is - Our Heavenly Father does! His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy is real!Nothing you are experiencing in your walk comes as a surprise to Him! May He be glorified through this blog and may God bless you at whatever stage in your walk you are in!~

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor
I was diagnosed with early stage triple negative breast cancer on June 24th, 2010 - I have been cancer free for 7 years now. It was only a chapter in my life - NOT my life, but the impact is one that has changed my life forever. Its important for women to know that 80% of the breast cancer diagnosis come from women who don't have a history of it in their family (My family didn't). Early detection is the key. For more information please click on the pink ribbon above. It could save your life.


June 30, 2010

You've Got a Friend in ME - When the Rubber Hits the Road

Its early morning... And I'm being still, chasing away fear and preparing myself for my first Radiation Oncology appointment. I'm thinking so many thoughts... Thinking about friendship - and what that is.  Thinking about the people who over the last two weeks have either run from me - acting as though I have leprosy or something and the ones who have shown their true colors of friendship. I was trying to think of how I would act - if this was someone I loved. Its so different when it happens to YOU.  I thought I knew how precious life was already.  But you know - when its YOU standing at the frontline of this. The colors of life are more vibrant. It's like before everything was beautiful in a "water color" kind of way. But now, its like deeper hues of vibrant color. What has been wonderful is the outpouring of love from those that are my REAL friends.  Checking on me, lifting me up, reminding me that I WILL survive this.  That this is not my life - its only a chapter in my life.

At the same time - what has hurt even more than the diagnosis - is when I thought someone would be there for me  - they weren't. They left my side. Avoided me. Stopped communications.  Thinking that I would not notice the change. That hurt. And to the people who have done that - I just want to say - It hurts, but I understand. Because sometimes when this happens to someone - you don't know what to say. Heck - its happening to ME and I don't know what to say! LOL All I can say is although your reaction has hurt me - I love you still.

That will not be my focus. My focus is on the Lord. Who said "He will never leave nor forsake me." Who said "I  hold you in the palm of my hand." Who told me - "Nothing will keep Him from me." (I'm being lazy - you look them up! ;P) I'm hedged in and totally dependent upon HIM.  Perhaps that is the best place to be. "Sitting on my Father's lap." (LOL) Even at 43 He lets me!

People will disappoint you ALL the time. We are imperfect. Geesh if I wrote down my imperfections it would be like a long scroll.. "Hear ye, Hear ye..." I think in the quiet of the morning - we all know the things we need to work on within ourselves.  Even if we don't confess them outloud.  WE KNOW what they are, don't we?  Today - I'm working on quieting my fear. Because fear is not of God. He is ABLE.

I've met two women this past week - one online and one in person. BOTH who have gone thru what I am going through now. Both radiate the love of Christ. They know the vibrancy I am talking about. How beautiful they are - kind of like how I picture Moses was coming from the Mountain. They've come from a "Mountain" they've "been" where I'm going and have come back again. And they are radiating the Holy Spirit. The peace that surrounds these two women is Incredible.  The way they willingly share with me the fight they experienced.  Their beauty from their battle is clear.  They have been changed. They KNOW who is in control.  I want that.  I shall have that and when I've gone through this "battle" and come out "the winner" I shall be a living testimony that GOD did it! IN ME.  And that because He is NO respector of persons what He has done for one, He will do for another.  I believe that!

Everyone at some point in their lives goes through a "fire" a burning off, a growing pain.  He says "I will not give you MORE than you can bear..." Only HE knows how much that is.  "The steps of a righteous man/woman are ordained by God." Our steps - our lives. What happens to us - may at times surprise us.  But it doesn't SURPRISE HIM. I'm so thankful in the midst of all this - that what it has done is brought me closer to my Father.  Revealed who my true friends are. Who those who REALLY love me are.  I thought I woke up every day already thankful for everything - but I realized I had only "scratched the surface." And I also realized in being a Christian - that THIS is what it is all about. Our faith, our believing.  This is the time where you see if you TRULY believe.

I'm wiser.. and stupider at the same time! LOL Well I'm still the "Dork" I've always been. Still running into things, still tripping over nothing. Still laughing at myself. When I first went to the doctor with my this lump, she asked me.. Did you run into anything, fall? And I laughed and said - Yes - I'm a Dork. I'm like a modern day Lucille Ball. ALWAYS running into something... But you have to laugh over it. Because I know that laughter truly IS the best medicine of all.

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