|What Are YOU Wishing For?|
It's late Friday, and my mind is reflecting on my first week out of treatment. Treatment has ended, but new things have begun. It makes me think of the Seasons - Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. What season is your life in? I think for me - I am in the season of "Spring." You know how that feels - when those of us who live in a snowy area are seeing the dirty piles of snow melt. The bare ground starting to thaw. Maybe even starting to see a shoot of a tulip nub appearing... That is what is happening with my life (although certainly not right yet with the weather here in Massachusetts! LOL).
For so long the ground has been bare as I went through treatment. Even grim at times. There were times were I just didn't know if I could go on another day. Another dose of chemotherapy, another day of gazing in the mirror at a face I didn't recognize. Another day of just trying to make it through the day. I guess I would compare that to a grey bleak winters day. When you are wondering if it is every going to clear and if the warmth and sun are ever going to return again. It would have been easy to sink into despair. But you see - Spring was right around the corner.
When I was a little girl, my parents use to take my brother and I camping. We had this game mom had made up - but as a child we firmly believed in. We would get into the car bags packed, tent packed ready to take off and we'd look at the sky which had suddenly gone cloudy. Mom would look at us and say, "Okay kids, we gotta hold on to the sun so it doesn't rain." And she'd tell us to make a fist and hold on tight to the invisible string (like holding on to a balloon string) that was attached to the sun. I can remember holding on tight all the way to the camp site which was sometimes hours away. If it rained it meant I simply didn't hold on tight enough. ;) We truly believed we were "holding on the sun."
What are you holding tightly to? What are you hoping for? What are you believing in? The Bible tells us that "All things are possible for those that believe." (Mark 9:23) What are you believing?
It's Springtime in my life right now. The old is gone and the new has come. Things seem a bit more vibrant and well maybe a bit uncertain... I'm in a new place in my life. And everything is "new" even right up to the "new sprouting hair on my head!" (LOL) I'm stepping out in faith in certain areas Even if it is just "baby steps." Unclear of what will happen, but certain that I need to go forward. So I'll keep walking. I may not always know where my steps will lead me, but He does. And I have to remind myself that we are not to "go by our feelings" - because they are so temperamental. They fluctuate just like the weather... "Well today in Kelly's emotions the day is rainy.. but the sun is slowly coming out.." No - we have to know who we trust in - even when we don't "feel it." Even when we don't "see it." We have to remember that He said that "He is the same today as He was yesterday as He will be tomorrow." (Hebrews 13:8) There is a comfort in that isn't there? A security in knowing that while EVERYTHING AROUND US MAY CHANGE - God never does. Maybe that is why He is our rock? I don't know about you - but I find comfort in that and you should too.