Mirror, Mirror - What do YOU see????

How do YOU view yourself?

There is something that has been really pressed on my heart – which means I need to write about – so here I go… To my Survivor Brethren (actually to everyone)... 

I find myself  wanting to throw up in my mouth a little over the guys who are looking for “Malibu Barbie.”  Don’t go for the guy (or girl for that matter) who is looking for “Malibu Barbie” or the “guy with the six pack” – that guy/girl is not worthy your love.  He is shallow and vain and unrealistic and probably doesn’t even look at himself in the mirror.  Chances are he looks like “Al Bundy” (If you don’t know who that is – Google him).  Feel sorry for him, because he is pathetic and shallow and full of himself.  Those are the type of guys (forgive my straightforwardness, but I NEVER sugarcoat and this is true) who when they have sex yell their own name out.  You don’t want a man like that. Go for the guy who sees the true beauty in you. Who will look at you and feel as though the whole REST of the world fades away. Who will make YOU feel that way.

I say this especially to survivors of cancer.  I only have a small scar from
my lumpectomy, but still my body is far from perfect – yet here is the thing I have learned and it has made ALL the difference…. Sexiness is not a look, it is not a style it is not a weight – it is an attitude.  It is in the way you view yourself, it is in the way you carry yourself.  It is in knowing your own self-worth.  Sexiness is an attitude one wears well.  It is not conceit (that is ugly) – it is a knowledge of your own self-worth.
It is in the way you love others, the way you touch someone, the way you live and think.  People mistake sexiness for a type of look.  They are WRONG.  For a woman, it is all about BEING a woman.  Making a man feel like a man… Going after you want (and not stepping on toes or hearts to do it).  Living life FULLY and believing in yourself; using your gifts to build others up and not tear them down.

Some of my Pink sisters have undergone mastectomies and some of you other types of cancer survivors have other types of physical scars that have been done because of a surgery that SAVED YOUR LIFE.  Don’t feel less because of it!  Someone who loves you, TRULY loves you will love you fiercely because YOU ARE STILL ALIVE.  Because YOU ARE STILL HERE.  Because YOU ARE (or have been) through a physical war!  You are a fighter!  You are a survivor!  You are BEAUTIFUL because YOU didn’t give up!  You are the BEST KIND OF BEAUTIFUL!!!!

Be with someone who will see your scars and still see the beauty of YOU.  You were in a war – a war you WON.  They are battle scars.  They have become part of who you are.

When you truly love someone it is their inner beauty that shines through their physical imperfections becomes the things that make them irresistible to you, the things you love most about them, the thing that differentiates them from all the rest.  That mole, that scar, that gap between their teeth, that big butt or those love handles.  When you love someone, you love all of them whatever it is that makes them unique, and ohhh how those things that they consider faults or imperfections become lovable and endearing.

Love is in the eye of the beholder, it is not a “cookie cutter” type thing.  If someone can’t love you like that – they are not worthy of your love, they don’t see that the real you is what is on the inside.  Looks fade, people get old – what lasts is the beauty of YOU.  Your spirit, your soul.  Have you ever seen an elderly couple and the way the man looks at his wife as though she were the most beautiful thing God ever created?
That’s the kind of love worth holding out for, that’s the love that will last.

If someone can’t love you as you are and encourage you to do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself, than they are not worth your effort, time or love.

If someone doesn’t see your inner beauty but wants physical perfection – drop them like a hot potato, they are not worthy of you or your love and the truth of the matter is they will never find what they are looking for – there is no perfect person out there, there is always going to be someone more outwardly attractive, and the truth is you should be with someone who desires you, loves you, wants you, needs you, feels their most beautiful when they are walking besides you.  Only has eyes for you.  That’s a love worth holding out.