How does one live after cancer? How do you put the fear and terror aside? How do you go forward knowing fully not only has your body changed on the outside, but you yourself has changed on the in? Your life as you knew it is not the same. Almost seven years later I am still trying to go forward.
"I won't - don't let go of mine either!"
Such an oxymoron of becoming stronger, yet feeling so fragile…
Tick tock goes the clock... Not to be taken for granted... What's around the corner? Don't think about it! Walk by faith and not by sight... Okay... Tick tock - what's around the corner? Even unspoken the thought goes...
LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!
I'm TRYING. I put my hands over my ears.. I hug myself closer to try and rid myself of the fear... I quote words of scripture God's promises to wrap around me... Picking up the shattered pieces of my life, trying to make sense of it all... Who am I? Why did this happen? How do I go forward? Stepping out on faith. If I take your hand will you hold it forever or will you simply let go? Tick tock... 7 years have gone by - how did they go by so fast? I'm on automatic pilot. Life has changed so drastically. Good things have occurred but still the uncertainty and fear and surprise of having had cancer never goes away. It NEVER fades away.
And my body temperature is cold ALL the time... "I'm cold Father... Help me..."