Shhhhh - do you hear that? Do you Really?

Is this your life? Is that you? How long do you think you can go at the pace you are going?

I lay in bed this morning thinking about my faults. Taking a good look at "me" analyzing myself and I came to the decision that I need more of Jesus. Have you ever stopped to wonder why you respond to things the way you do? The weaknesses you feel you have - why do you think you have them?  What disappointments have you had and how have you responded to them? What do you NEED? Or think you need?

There is no perfect person - other Jesus. And looking at myself with a "magnifying glass" I realize that although I had thought they had already been "filled" the "pot holes" in me. There is still much work on the "street of Kelly" to do. Like little "mudslides" the places I haven't allowed the Lord to fill - have caved in.  You see, there is something deep inside of us - that hungers for the Lord. We may say "pfffft - yeah, right." But the fact is - its true. God made us that way.  We were created to worship Him.   We try to fill it with "people" or "things" or "life" - but truly, there sometime comes a point where there is no denying that what we needed all along - was Him. I believe the Bible calls it "the peace that passes all understanding." You simply can't get that from another person. Everything has its place. There is a place within us that is meant for God and God alone.

Have you ever sat outside and listened to the sounds around you early in the morning?  We fill our lives with so much activity, so much outside "noise."  Sometimes our lives are so noisy we don't hear the voice of God speaking quietly into our souls.  And the ironic thing about it is - if we stopped, and listened we would be soo blessed.  We would feel all those things we are searching for - acceptance, love, understanding, peace. The LOVE of God.  I can honestly say, that there is nothing that can compare to the love of God.  Feeling your heavenly Father wrap his arms around you and whisper in your ear how special you are.  How He knows the numbers of your hair. How He created YOU for a purpose. How you are one of a kind. How you are His child and He has called YOU by name. How He has plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. WHY don't we listen??? What we need is right before us. Yet we push Him aside. We say "later." We think "I'll have a relationship with God when I'm "old and grey."  Yet who promised YOU tomorrow? God stands at the door and he knocks NOW.  He is not this "mean" forbidding God - He is a loving Father.

For those of us that are parents - we know that the "no's" we tell our children are with their best in mind.  But they don't see it that way at the time we say "no" do they? I remember my telling my mother "you're a mean mommy!" (Laughing) when all she wanted me to do was stay in my room while she mopped the hallway floor. how many times do we think God is "mean?"  He's not.

Lord - this year has been like no other in my life. I've been humbled beyond my wildest dreams. That is not a complaint Father. I realize that I need you to "fill the potholes" in me. Some of which I had thought years ago had been full. But they are cropping up again Lord and I realize more and more that I need more of You."

Take a good hard look at yourself - faults, weaknesses and all - and bring them before the Father. Ask Him to show you why you continue to struggle in a certain area of your life. Perhaps there was a need inside of you that was never fulfilled. We live in an imperfect world but thank God we have a "perfect Father" who can restore, who can heal, who can bless, who can aid, who can love - and you see - He desires to do all those things inside of you. But here is the thing - He's given us "free will." To choose, to decide - or not to. The choice is up to us.