It has now been seven years since I started this blog. How quickly time goes by! We are many members but we are one in the body of Christ. Therefore you do not journey alone! Hopefully through this site you will be encouraged by the fact that many things you are going through in your own walk, others are going through (or have gone through) as well. Sometimes we think we are "going through things alone." But we are not. God said that "He would Never Leave Nor Forsake Us." (Hebrews 13:5) and that "There is Nothing New Under The Sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No man is an island. It's easy to forget that. May the words in this blog help you to think, encourage you in whatever spiritual state you are in and may the Lord use them to help us to grow in Him! He is the Author and Finisher of our faith!

I don’t want any readers to think that I am “promoting” being a prodigal. I definitely am not. But what I am hoping to do – is to encourage those of us who either have had or are currently experiencing a hard time in our walk to be honest about it. Personal conviction is a powerful thing, especially if you truly love the Lord. I think that sometimes the Body of Christ critiques and judges to the point where the person who is at the other end of that pointing finger feels ostracized, alienated and alone. I don't think that that is what Jesus intended. When I read through my Bible - I see a firm yet gentle restoration that Jesus ministered to those around Him. Look at John 21:15-19. When Peter who was at an all time low point in his walk - he was firmly, yet lovingly restored by Jesus. He didn't tear him down, or yell or make him feel any worse then he already did. He spoke to him lovingly and gently - and in doing so, Peter was able to repent and minister in a much more powerful, humble and confident way and it became one of the largest ministries ever.

Please note that I am only a vessel, my calling - to write. I dedicate this blog to the Lord and ask that He use it to reach out and touch whoever needs a special, loving, personal touch from Him. My hope is that the Holy Spirit allows you to see Him through the words (and not me). We go through things so that we can extend our right hand of fellowship behind us to assist and help someone else. Our Bible is the same today, as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow. (I am far from perfect and do not profess to have all the answers...) but the good news is - Our Heavenly Father does! His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy is real!Nothing you are experiencing in your walk comes as a surprise to Him! May He be glorified through this blog and may God bless you at whatever stage in your walk you are in!~

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor
I was diagnosed with early stage triple negative breast cancer on June 24th, 2010 - I have been cancer free for 7 years now. It was only a chapter in my life - NOT my life, but the impact is one that has changed my life forever. Its important for women to know that 80% of the breast cancer diagnosis come from women who don't have a history of it in their family (My family didn't). Early detection is the key. For more information please click on the pink ribbon above. It could save your life.


May 5, 2015

Monsters Under the Bed And in My Head

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

(1 Corinthians 13:11-12)
“Good night sweetheart, no bad dreams allowed,” My mother said as she kissed me on the forehead, shut out my light and headed out my bedroom door.  I lay there in the dark, clutching my stuffed Snoopy.  “There are no monsters, there are no monsters, there are no monsters…” I whispered quietly over and over again… My heart beating really fast.  I threw a quick glance to my closet door which I could just make out in the dark.  Mom had closed it for me prior to giving me a good night kiss.

“I won’t be afraid… I won’t be afraid… I won’t be afraid…”   I heard a noise, and gasped pulling the covers up over my head… For about five minutes…  It was my calico cat, Crazy Cat jumping up on my bed.  Her green eyes glowed in the dark and as I peeked out from under the covers I scolded her for scaring me.
My eyes felt heavy, I clutched my Snoopy tighter to me as Crazy Cat circled on my comforter and purring, lay down.  Then I jumped and my eyes open wide as I heard another noise.  I leaned over my bed and knocked on the hard wood floor.  My parents bedroom was right below mine, this was standard bad dream procedure in our household.  I knocked, they came and I could hear footsteps coming up the stairs to my room.  My mom opened the door and flicked on the light.  I blinked as my eyes tried to make the adjustment from dark to light.

“What is it, Casey?” She said sounding a bit annoyed.
“There is a monster under my bed or in my closet.  I heard some noise…” I whispered fearfully…

Mom sighed.  She moved from the door over to my bed and dropped down to her knees, peered under my bed.  “No monsters down here…” She responded.  Then she got up and walked over to my closet door.  Opened the closet door, stuck her arm in between the hanging dresses and clothes, poked her head in and said, “Nope, no monsters in here either.”  She walked back over to me, sat down on my bed and smoothed my hair off my forehead.  “There is nothing for you to be afraid of.  There is nothing that will harm you, I’m here.  Now go to sleep.”  She leaned over and kissed me on the tip of my nose. “Sleep sweet now.”
She had checked, all was well; there were no monsters under my bed after all… I could go to sleep. Clutching my Snoopy to my chest, I rolled over and went off to sleep…

40 years later

It’s two o’clock in the morning, I’m in bed… All of a sudden I’m wide awake… Eyes wide open. I’m feeling anxious and worried. It’s not the childhood monsters that are harassing me as I thought they had as a child, it’s the grown up monsters that go by the names of “Worry” and “Concern” and “Uncertainty” that have shown up on the floor of my mind, stealing ground as an invader would steal territory. There are no beds to check under for the adult anxieties that race through my head or closet doors to open and examine for monsters. And my mother is a few towns away.
I turn on my other side punching my pillow, trying to scatter the worries from my mind.
“I won’t be afraid, I won’t be afraid, I won’t be afraid…” I whisper with determination as all the things I need to do, wonder how I will do or figure out to do flood my mind robbing me of my peace.
And then I hear it... Soft, yet direct, matter of fact and firm.
“I don’t know what to pray or how to pray there are so many things going through my mind.” I respond.
“…the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:26-28)

“For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
“Okay, Okay…" I sigh, sitting up in bed, closing my eyes I begin to pray, " Lord, I need your help… Thank you that just as my mother would come in at night and soothe me and comfort me as a child, I can come to you for advice and guidance and help. " I paused for a moment trying to find an appropriate way to express my feelings. "I feel overwhelmed Father, I feel like there is so much going on in my mind I can’t sort out my thoughts.  You know my heart, you know my situation, you know my life.  Please help me… I thank you that I can enter into a time of prayer knowing fully well that you promised me that you would ‘never leave nor forsake me’ (Deuteronomy 31:6) and that I can bring my problems to you because  ‘Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.’       (1 John 4:4) So I give You this “Worry” Lord, I give you this “Fear” i give you this "concern" and I thank you for chasing all the monsters that lay within my mind away and covering me with the precious blood of Your Son, my Savior, Jesus Christ.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”
“Feel better?”
“Good… Now Sleep Sweet…”
“Ummmm…. Holy Spirit?”

“Thank You...”

Peace radiates my room like a light invading darkness, my problems individually dropped at the foot of the cross with the expectation that God (being my Heavenly Father and an ever present help in time of trouble) will work things out, according to His purpose and His will, after all He is my Father, my Provider an "ever present help in time of trouble."  It is not up to me to figure out the "how" of it, but to trust that if I have given it to Him, I can trust that whatever the situation, He is in control.  There are problems that are bigger than us, there is more that is going on behind the scenes then we can see, which is why the Bible tells us to bring all things to Him in prayer.  In praying, I have served notice on those problems, kicked them out of my mind and into His capable hands.  My trust in Him fills me with an abundant amount of peace, similar to the safety and security I felt as a child clutching Snoopy in my arms and having Crazy Cat at the foot of my bed and knowing that my parents were tucked in bed a floor down from my room. 

The monsters are gone, my peace restored.  Glancing one more time at the clock and gratefully realizing I still have a few more hours until I have to get up, I roll over and peacefully drifted back to sleep…

I could not see it (because it is in the spiritual realm), but on each side of me was encamped an angel who God has assigned to see to my well being, to protect me and guide me.  Nothing that God does not allow shall ever affect my life because I belong to Him.  If I could see in the spiritual realm, I would have seen my Heavenly Father leaning over me and giving me a kiss on my forehead saying:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27)

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