It has now been seven years since I started this blog. How quickly time goes by! We are many members but we are one in the body of Christ. Therefore you do not journey alone! Hopefully through this site you will be encouraged by the fact that many things you are going through in your own walk, others are going through (or have gone through) as well. Sometimes we think we are "going through things alone." But we are not. God said that "He would Never Leave Nor Forsake Us." (Hebrews 13:5) and that "There is Nothing New Under The Sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No man is an island. It's easy to forget that. May the words in this blog help you to think, encourage you in whatever spiritual state you are in and may the Lord use them to help us to grow in Him! He is the Author and Finisher of our faith!

I don’t want any readers to think that I am “promoting” being a prodigal. I definitely am not. But what I am hoping to do – is to encourage those of us who either have had or are currently experiencing a hard time in our walk to be honest about it. Personal conviction is a powerful thing, especially if you truly love the Lord. I think that sometimes the Body of Christ critiques and judges to the point where the person who is at the other end of that pointing finger feels ostracized, alienated and alone. I don't think that that is what Jesus intended. When I read through my Bible - I see a firm yet gentle restoration that Jesus ministered to those around Him. Look at John 21:15-19. When Peter who was at an all time low point in his walk - he was firmly, yet lovingly restored by Jesus. He didn't tear him down, or yell or make him feel any worse then he already did. He spoke to him lovingly and gently - and in doing so, Peter was able to repent and minister in a much more powerful, humble and confident way and it became one of the largest ministries ever.

Please note that I am only a vessel, my calling - to write. I dedicate this blog to the Lord and ask that He use it to reach out and touch whoever needs a special, loving, personal touch from Him. My hope is that the Holy Spirit allows you to see Him through the words (and not me). We go through things so that we can extend our right hand of fellowship behind us to assist and help someone else. Our Bible is the same today, as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow. (I am far from perfect and do not profess to have all the answers...) but the good news is - Our Heavenly Father does! His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy is real!Nothing you are experiencing in your walk comes as a surprise to Him! May He be glorified through this blog and may God bless you at whatever stage in your walk you are in!~

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor
I was diagnosed with early stage triple negative breast cancer on June 24th, 2010 - I have been cancer free for 7 years now. It was only a chapter in my life - NOT my life, but the impact is one that has changed my life forever. Its important for women to know that 80% of the breast cancer diagnosis come from women who don't have a history of it in their family (My family didn't). Early detection is the key. For more information please click on the pink ribbon above. It could save your life.


September 19, 2015

Feeling Heavy Hearted? This Post is For You...

My heart is heavy with more than I can fathom.
I need to turn to the Rock that is higher than I... Do you feel it too?
Times like this require prayer and conversation with the One who knows...
My heart feels heavy today... As I was driving, I was thinking how important it is to indicate that there are/will be times in our walk when we feel heavy ladden - and that is okay.  As Christians we sometimes feel as though we should be always lighthearted and smiling, but the truth is life doesn't always feel that way and we'd be lying if we said otherwise.

Today is a day where I just want to cry out to God, "Why?!"  Not in a disrespectful manner but in one that is an honest question. Sometimes life seems so unfair and if we are to have a true "personal" relationship with Him, we have to be honest in our communications.  I think God would want us to be honest about how we feel anyways - because truthfully, He ALREADY knows.

Think about it - if we are in a relationship (you and I), and I'm troubled about something, but I don't want to discuss it because I think it will bring up an argument or cause problems in our relationship, then I am just holding onto all those emotions, frustrations  and pent up feelings inside.  Even if I don't talk about it, I'm probably going to stew over it and if  you know me well enough and are observant then you are going to realize that something is wrong.  If this is the case when you are in a relationship with someone, how much more so is it with your Heavenly Father?  

Psalms 139 says:

Lord, you have examined me
and know all about me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know my thoughts before I think them.
3 You know where I go and where I lie down.
You know everything I do.
4 Lord, even before I say a word,
you already know it.
5 You are all around me—in front and in back—
and have put your hand on me.
6 Your knowledge is amazing to me;
it is more than I can understand.

7 Where can I go to get away from your Spirit?
Where can I run from you?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
If I lie down in the grave, you are there.
9 If I rise with the sun in the east
and settle in the west beyond the sea,
10 even there you would guide me.
With your right hand you would hold me.

11 I could say, “The darkness will hide me.
Let the light around me turn into night.”
12 But even the darkness is not dark to you.
The night is as light as the day;
darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made my whole being;
you formed me in my mother’s body.
14 I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.
What you have done is wonderful.
I know this very well.
15 You saw my bones being formed
as I took shape in my mother’s body.
When I was put together there,
16 you saw my body as it was formed.
All the days planned for me
were written in your book
before I was one day old.

17 God, your thoughts are precious to me.
They are so many!
18 If I could count them,
they would be more than all the grains of sand.
When I wake up,
I am still with you.

19 God, I wish you would kill the wicked!
Get away from me, you murderers!
20 They say evil things about you.
Your enemies use your name thoughtlessly.
21 Lord, I hate those who hate you;
I hate those who rise up against you.
22 I feel only hate for them;
they are my enemies.

23 God, examine me and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any bad thing in me.
Lead me on the road to everlasting life.
That right there is an honest conversation between David and God.  A perfect example of how we can converse with God about whatever is in our own hearts.  He WANTS us to!  We need to... Through communication (as with any relationship) we can gain insight and understanding through the Holy Spirit.

So if there is a day where you are tired of wearing a smile on your face, and you are downcast and heavy hearted and weary - it is a sure sign that a conversation with the One who loves you more than ANYONE is due.  I'm in need of one of those conversations myself... Lay whatever it is at the foot of the cross.  Pour out your heart to Him. He cares. He really does, He is not a God that He would lie.
Sometimes He even allows us a glimpse into the "behind the scene" workings of your situation.  Not all the time, but sometimes He does.  A couple of years ago, I developed a strange rash on my stomach, one that required me to go to the emergency room.  One that I had to be hospitalized for observation. This occured after having had cancer and a non-cancer related surgery.  I was feeling pretty low and like a specimen on a petri dish.  I couldn't understand WHY God would allow this to happen after all I had been through... They were taking pictures of this rash, the doctors were stimied, didn't know what it was.  I was scared that I had some flesh eating type of disease (I didn't).  Pictures were taken and discussion was had amongst the physicians.  There was no cause for this rash, I was healthy - no disease nothing... Fast Forward to this year.  The pictures from that rash allowed me to go through a procedure that if I hadn't had that experience, would not have been covered by my insurance.  A procedure that I was asking God to allow me to go through.  Funny how we pray to God little prayers and forget that we pray them.  We kind of just "file them away" with conversations with God.  It wasn't a prayer request that was in my "top 10" important prayers list - it was more like a "Lord, I really wish I could..." kind of prayer.  Well, I forgot about that prayer, but He didn't and He used the experience I had gone through with the rash to make my "wish" procedure happen.  I didn't think about it again until I realized that God had answered one of my prayers - and then of course I had to remember to thank Him profusely for having heard me and for honoring a prayer request that I had long tucked away as "not gonna happen."
We don't know why we go through things.  I don't think we go through things just to go through them... I think that it's either because we need to learn and grow, or because God will be glorified through the situation or its because of the fallen, sinful world we live in.  No matter how we are feeling we have to believe and trust that God has us in the palm of His hands, because the truth of the matter is - if we have given our lives to Him - we belong to Him.  We are His.
That's a good thing, don't you think?  And on today, a day when I've been feeling heavy hearted and overwhelmed and sad and a bunch of mixed up emotions I can reflect on what God has done for me and what He continues to do and I can trust that no matter HOW I am feeling, God is still in control of my life and my situation.  One other thing - if you are doing ALL that you know to do the Bible says in the book of Ephesians:
"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people." (Ephesians 6:13-18)

We need to trust Him.  When we can't trust our circumstances and we can't trust our feelings and we are just feeling waaaaaaaaaaay overwhelmed and heavy burdened - we need to trust Him.
I'll even lead by example in prayer:

"Lord, I'm tired. I've run out of answers, solutions for my current circumstances.  I have done all I humanly know how to do and it isn't enough... Which tells me that "I need to go to the rock that is Higher than I" (That's You Father) and bring this season in my life to You.  I thank You so much that I can do that through Your shed blood on the cross.  I thank You soooooo much that while I am feeling "put out" about me - you are not.  You say that I can come to You in prayer, so here I am, standing in the need.  Please help me.  Please hold back the hands of the devourer and be victorious in my life.  You say You came so that I can have life and have it abundantly - but that abundancy is not from my own works and doings - it is provided by You.  So please wash me with the precious blood of Jesus, forgive me for my shortcomings and sins and help me.  You say, "You have not because You ask not" well here am I standing before You asking.  You know what the situation is, You know the Way, You know the answer.  I give my burdens to You.  Forgive me for my sins, please work out this season in my life where You can be glorified and I can walk in the victory that Jesus has already provided for me.  Lift up my heavy heart and fill it with Your peace that passes ALL understanding.  I thank You Father and I ask You all of this - in Jesus' precious name. AMEN."

Now it's your turn - talk to Him.  You don't need fancy words or anything other than You being real before Him.  Remember, He ALREADY knows what is troubling you or what is in your heart - you just need to converse with Him.  YES it can be humbling but the peace that comes from knowing that you need His help and He wants to be there for you will help you to unload those burdens.  TALK TO HIM in whatever words you need.  He is there and He is listening. Try it.  He truly cares for you. And when He has answered your prayer (with whatever that answer may be) trust that He knows what is best for you - because He does.  Remember, He sees in full, we only see in part - so He knows your whole story.  Remember to thank Him for the answer when it occurs - whatever that answer may be... He's got you, of that you can surely believe.

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