It has now been seven years since I started this blog. How quickly time goes by! We are many members but we are one in the body of Christ. Therefore you do not journey alone! Hopefully through this site you will be encouraged by the fact that many things you are going through in your own walk, others are going through (or have gone through) as well. Sometimes we think we are "going through things alone." But we are not. God said that "He would Never Leave Nor Forsake Us." (Hebrews 13:5) and that "There is Nothing New Under The Sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No man is an island. It's easy to forget that. May the words in this blog help you to think, encourage you in whatever spiritual state you are in and may the Lord use them to help us to grow in Him! He is the Author and Finisher of our faith!

I don’t want any readers to think that I am “promoting” being a prodigal. I definitely am not. But what I am hoping to do – is to encourage those of us who either have had or are currently experiencing a hard time in our walk to be honest about it. Personal conviction is a powerful thing, especially if you truly love the Lord. I think that sometimes the Body of Christ critiques and judges to the point where the person who is at the other end of that pointing finger feels ostracized, alienated and alone. I don't think that that is what Jesus intended. When I read through my Bible - I see a firm yet gentle restoration that Jesus ministered to those around Him. Look at John 21:15-19. When Peter who was at an all time low point in his walk - he was firmly, yet lovingly restored by Jesus. He didn't tear him down, or yell or make him feel any worse then he already did. He spoke to him lovingly and gently - and in doing so, Peter was able to repent and minister in a much more powerful, humble and confident way and it became one of the largest ministries ever.

Please note that I am only a vessel, my calling - to write. I dedicate this blog to the Lord and ask that He use it to reach out and touch whoever needs a special, loving, personal touch from Him. My hope is that the Holy Spirit allows you to see Him through the words (and not me). We go through things so that we can extend our right hand of fellowship behind us to assist and help someone else. Our Bible is the same today, as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow. (I am far from perfect and do not profess to have all the answers...) but the good news is - Our Heavenly Father does! His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy is real!Nothing you are experiencing in your walk comes as a surprise to Him! May He be glorified through this blog and may God bless you at whatever stage in your walk you are in!~

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor
I was diagnosed with early stage triple negative breast cancer on June 24th, 2010 - I have been cancer free for 7 years now. It was only a chapter in my life - NOT my life, but the impact is one that has changed my life forever. Its important for women to know that 80% of the breast cancer diagnosis come from women who don't have a history of it in their family (My family didn't). Early detection is the key. For more information please click on the pink ribbon above. It could save your life.


August 20, 2014

The Pathway Home...

This is a painting that I bought during a trip up to New Hampshire, I love it because it makes me feel like I could just step right onto the pathway. Whatever path you are on make sure that you include your Heavenly Father on your travels because those are the best trips of all! "Trust in the Lord with all your heart lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths." (Proverbs 3:5)
At some point in your walk, if you haven’t already, you will probably experience a prodigal moment.   I would like to positively refer to this as a “growth spurt” in your spiritual walk…  For me it was a detour onto a road I had no business traveling. Thinking about it I could slap myself upside the back of my very own feminine head, but the truth of the matter is that what the devil meant for evil – God has used for good.

I will not go into specifics as to what my poor prodigal choice of action was; that is irrelevant because sin is sin and with God there is no degree of sin.  There is no such thing as a “little white lie” a lie is simply that – a lie.  I have shared my prodigal journey specifically with those that God has put pressed upon my heart to be totally transparent with so that they will learn from my unwise choices and perhaps will help them to avoid making the mistakes I made,  and as long as I have breath in my body (and God directs me) I will share it as a learning experience to those He puts in my pathway and indicates I should.   

If you are a prodigal and you are reading this post you need to know that a prodigal state is not one that God has meant for you to stay stuck in.  Actually, He never meant you to venture down that path in the first place, but just because you have does not mean it is where you are to remain; and should you feel down upon yourself to the point that you feel you can’t get out of whatever situation you are in,you need to not be afraid or ashamed to ask for help with either a counselor, a minister, a close friend/family member and definitely to your Heavenly Father who sees and knows all through prayer.
I know what it feels like to feel alone in a room crowded with people.  You feel as though you are screaming so loudly inside your head that you can't understand how or why it is that no one else can hear it! The pain is excruciating and while you may be able to smile on the outside; inside you are feeling like one hot mess.  Most of the time the situation is magnified much more in our own heads than it actually is in reality.  That is why it helps if you find someone you can feel comfortable sharing it or bring it to your Father in prayer. But you need to know that you are not alone. Nor are you the only person to go through whatever it is that you are experiencing.  You would be surprised to find out just how many others have been in the same boat as you.  But unless you share what you have/are experiencing you feel like you are alienated from everyone else - YOU ARE NOT.  Truly there is nothing new under the sun. 

"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.  Is there anything of which one can say, "Look! This is something new"? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time." (Ecclesiastes 1:9-10)

I speak from personal experience, so I know, dear prodigal.  I opened a door that I had no idea what lay behind it.  There were all kinds of warnings that should have made me back off, but I chose to disregard those warnings, curiosity and maybe even a sense that I could handle it got the best of me  and once I opened that door,  I was spiritually not strong enough to close it.  Actually, I could have walked away at any time but I chose not to.

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)

 Part of recovering from a prodigal period is taking full responsibility for your actions. 
Prodigal, hear me.  You are *not* alone.  Don’t go by your feelings because right now they are probably all over the page and they can be deceptive. God is WITH you.  He loves YOU.  You may have made an unwise choice but it doesn’t mean that God can’t direct you back on the pathway you need to be on.  How long you decide to remain in that position is totally dependent upon YOU.  This is where prayer comes in.  I know that there is a strong sense of shame going through your mind, I know you feel like you are too weak and don’t have the strength or the know-how to get out of the situation, but the truth is you DO and you CAN.  You just need to change your mind.  Get MAD. I did!  I found myself disgusted, discouraged, depressed and just at a point where I couldn’t stand it anymore! 

No one can tell me that God does not have a sense of humor – He does!  For me, I started thinking of things like the Christmas Cartoon “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” Where young Chris Kringle is encouraging the snow monster to change, telling him:
“Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door”
(Written by: BASS, JULES / LAWS, MAURY Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc. Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind)
But the truth is, that is what it takes – a change of mind and a willingness to take the ground that you have lost back.  Step by step, one step at a time with God's help.

It is strange, isn’t it?  We can be ever so patient with other people, but often times we do not give ourselves that same courtesy.  Of course with each step I took, I prayed and eventually God brought people into my life who had experienced the same prodigal experience I had AND had grown stronger for it!  Whatever your situation, you are not the first and you are not alone.

“Lord forgive me, Lord help me. I don’t know WHY I allowed myself to get in this situation but I know that I can only get through it with your help. I can’t do it on my own accord. I need YOU.”

I will tell you what you probably already know – that there are ramifications for whatever prodigal path you have chosen to take.  I am not in a prodigal situation anymore but there has been residue from the pathway I put myself in.  I think the hardest part is coming back to the question as to why I even allowed myself to venture down a pathway I had no business going down and then learning to forgive myself for it.  You see, once you ask God’s forgiveness the Word says:

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west” (Psalms 103:12)

 Often time the problem is that we can’t forgive our own self and we continuously beat ourselves up by going over and over what we’ve done.  Rehashing it, dissecting it, or self-abusing ourselves with something we need to learn from, put behind us and move on.  You need to do this because once you have become an ex-prodigal, you  realize that you are really not a prodigal at all, you are a child of God, one that is growing, learning and realizing that it is only the grace, love, mercy and forgiveness of God (in other words the covering of the blood of Jesus) that allows you to enter into a relationship with God at all.  You are not under the condemnation of the Old Testament, but you are covered by the precious blood of Jesus and under the New Covenant - grace.

I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that it is easy. It’s not, although I am no longer a prodigal I still wrestle with some of what I experienced.  Coming back from being a prodigal is a painful journey home.  There are things that are hard to let go of and change.  But I have learned so much more from having had a prodigal experience in my life.  It has changed who I am.  It has made me more compassionate, more understanding, less judgmental.  I believe I have learned to listen clearer.   I can say that it has drawn me closer to God because I realize how much I need Him, how dependent upon Him I am.  How much I love Him.  How much I want to be in the center of His will because I know what it is like to step outside the will of God (and it is a very lonely, scary place to be). I am more convinced than ever that I don’t ever want to feel far away from Him again. I want to cleave to my Father.  I want to glorify Him and show others how GOOD He is.  Maybe that is why God gracefully allows us to experience prodigal moments because He knows that when we make the journey back home we will have a better knowledge of why He says “no.”  It’s not because He is being a “mean Father” it’s because He knows what is best for us ,what is good for us, what is not, what will hurt us and the truth is, we really don’t. 

I still struggle with decisions I make, I am less sure of myself and I believe this is part of the residue of bad decisions I chose and a door I had NO business opening.  I could spend my lifetime beating myself up over it or I can humbly decide to hold tight to my Father’s hand, squeeze it from time to time and know that He is transforming me into what He would like me to become. He created me, so who knows better than He all of the potential I have to be the beautiful masterpiece He has confidence I will become – the dark hues add to the beauty of the picture and the story that is ME, and because He is no respector of persons - He can do the same for YOU.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I wish to share this with you. Do you know why God said he has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west, instead of north and south?

If you start out heading north, you will eventually reach a point where you will then be going south. At some point you will reach the other side and be coming back to where you started.
Would you want your sins to come back to you?

If you start out heading east, no matter how long and how far you go, you will ALWAYS be going east, never reaching a point where you will be going west, unless you turn around of course.