It has now been seven years since I started this blog. How quickly time goes by! We are many members but we are one in the body of Christ. Therefore you do not journey alone! Hopefully through this site you will be encouraged by the fact that many things you are going through in your own walk, others are going through (or have gone through) as well. Sometimes we think we are "going through things alone." But we are not. God said that "He would Never Leave Nor Forsake Us." (Hebrews 13:5) and that "There is Nothing New Under The Sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No man is an island. It's easy to forget that. May the words in this blog help you to think, encourage you in whatever spiritual state you are in and may the Lord use them to help us to grow in Him! He is the Author and Finisher of our faith!

I don’t want any readers to think that I am “promoting” being a prodigal. I definitely am not. But what I am hoping to do – is to encourage those of us who either have had or are currently experiencing a hard time in our walk to be honest about it. Personal conviction is a powerful thing, especially if you truly love the Lord. I think that sometimes the Body of Christ critiques and judges to the point where the person who is at the other end of that pointing finger feels ostracized, alienated and alone. I don't think that that is what Jesus intended. When I read through my Bible - I see a firm yet gentle restoration that Jesus ministered to those around Him. Look at John 21:15-19. When Peter who was at an all time low point in his walk - he was firmly, yet lovingly restored by Jesus. He didn't tear him down, or yell or make him feel any worse then he already did. He spoke to him lovingly and gently - and in doing so, Peter was able to repent and minister in a much more powerful, humble and confident way and it became one of the largest ministries ever.

Please note that I am only a vessel, my calling - to write. I dedicate this blog to the Lord and ask that He use it to reach out and touch whoever needs a special, loving, personal touch from Him. My hope is that the Holy Spirit allows you to see Him through the words (and not me). We go through things so that we can extend our right hand of fellowship behind us to assist and help someone else. Our Bible is the same today, as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow. (I am far from perfect and do not profess to have all the answers...) but the good news is - Our Heavenly Father does! His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy is real!Nothing you are experiencing in your walk comes as a surprise to Him! May He be glorified through this blog and may God bless you at whatever stage in your walk you are in!~

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor
I was diagnosed with early stage triple negative breast cancer on June 24th, 2010 - I have been cancer free for 7 years now. It was only a chapter in my life - NOT my life, but the impact is one that has changed my life forever. Its important for women to know that 80% of the breast cancer diagnosis come from women who don't have a history of it in their family (My family didn't). Early detection is the key. For more information please click on the pink ribbon above. It could save your life.


August 11, 2014

Who Are You????

WHO are YOU?????
In the 1951 version of the movie Alice in Wonderland, a shrunken down small sized Alice encounters a gigantic pipe smoking caterpillar and part of the conversation they have during this encounter is as follows:

Caterpillar: Who... are... you?
: I- I hardly know, sir. I've changed so many times since this morning, you see...
: No, I do not 'C.' Explain yourself.
: I'm afraid I can't explain myself sir, because I'm not myself, you know.
: I do not know.
: Well, I can't put it any more clearly, sir, for it isn't clear to me.
Caterpillar: You? Who ARE you?

In 1978 Peter Townshend composed the song “Who are You”  which was the title track on The Who's 1978 release, Who Are You, the chorus being as follows:
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?

In Matthew 16:30 Jesus asked the disciples, “Who do you say I am?”

As I got to thinking about all of the above  I came to the realization that it is important for us to know WHO we are and then be able to to clarify just who Jesus is to us.

Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinketh within himself so he is.”

As you think about all of the above – who do YOU think YOU are?  I’m not talking about the title, “I’m a mom, I’m a wife, I’m a father, I’m a doctor, I’m the daughter of so and so…” I’m talking about who ARE you?  What have you believed about yourself?  And has what you believed about yourself been good things?
Sometimes we view ourselves through the eyes of what others have said to us throughout the course of our lives.  There is power in words, especially if they are what has formulated your viewpoint on yourself.  A lot of this formulation happens at childhood and what you were told as you were growing up, especially if it came from a grown up in your life.
We have the ability to either build someone up or tear them down based upon our own words.  That is why the Bible says that the tongue is a powerful weapon.  There is power in what you say and how you respond to what you hear.  The words you choose to use and believe in can have a profound effect on your life, not only in the way others view you but in the way you view yourself.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit." (Proverbs 18:21)
I believe we are born as “blank as a sheet of paper.” What is written upon the pages of our lives begins even prior to our birth, even as far back as our conception, how our parents felt when they were told they were going to have a baby.  The way your parents felt about your upcoming arrival - the first sentences written down upon the blank sheet of your life began to have some kind of impact on you.  Good or bad.

What type of emotional nourishment did you receive from the people who raised you?   Did you internalize what was said? Did they build you up or tear you down?  There are no perfect parents, although most of us try to do the best we can – we are an imperfect people.  I think about this more and more as I raise my children in a divorced environment.  I try to give them positive reinforcement, love, routine and stability but I am ever aware of the messages I give them and I try to remember that most children crave their parents approval and affection.  How you respond to your child/ren will formulate a foundation of how they see themselves, their self-worth.  It is important to choose your words wisely because they have more of an effect than we can possibly comprehend.
I remember a close and dear relative once telling me when I was a young adult (probably in exasperation), “you will NEVER make enough money!  You will never get your finances straight and you will always come up short!”  I didn’t realize how much I took those words to heart.  I believed them, and as a grown up those words have affected me greatly.  I believed that I would never make enough money – I haven’t.  Because I believed that I would also be in want - I have!  I believed those words and those words became a very active and negative part of my life.  It wasn’t until recently that I learned to rebuke them.  I realized that even though it was unintentional – what that person did was curse me! They didn’t mean it as such, what they said was probably said in frustration and exasperation and I’m quite sure they meant it as a teaching point and not as a curse.  But the truth of the matter is – it was spoken and it was indeed a curse.  The power of it was only in the fact that I believed it! And because I believed it wholeheartedly, my life reflected that short coming and it reflected in my own self-worth.  I internalized those words spoken from someone who’s approval and love meant the world to me.  It was only recently  that God revealed to me, while I was praying, that I had believed and received a curse and because I believed it – it became powerful and was so.
Recently (as previously quoted) God brought to my attention:  Proverbs 23:7 “As a man thinketh within himself, so he is.”  

This really got me thinking.  It got me wondering what other “lies” have I believed about myself? I started searching the scriptures and as I read scriptures promises made to me as a child of the Utmost High King started to leap off the pages at me.
“I have made you the head and not the tail.” (Deuteronomy 28:13)
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will straighten your path.” (Proverbs 3:5)
“I will remember Jehovah God, for He it is Who gives me power to experience wealth.” (Deuteronomy  8:18)
“And you shall be like a tree planted by the streams of water that bringeth forth its fruit  in its season, whose leaf also doth not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.” (Psalms 1:2-3)
I began to speak words of blessings into my life and not only to speak them, but to believe them. I gave my finances over to my Heavenly Father.  Things began to happen; I pled the blood of Jesus upon my bills.  As I have tried to make the adjustment of once having been part of a tag-team couple to post cancer being a single mom, I have struggled with juggling my finances.  I do not have any credit card debt but it has been hard getting out from “behind” the eight ball and begin a budget.  I got behind in my car payments and didn’t even realize by how much.  Because I was trying to juggle my finances – putting out each fire as they would pop up I found myself racing from one financial struggle to another.  As I began praying over my finances, I realized that I had been walking in fear and denial, not wanting to have to deal with it.  I also realized how much I had believed that I would never be able to get caught up or be in a position where I could feel in control over my bills.  But God kept His hand of protection upon me. He held back the devourer and helped me to see that greater is HE then my debt.  I knew I had to face it and trust in Him that He would help me get through it.  This meant having to contact the company I had used a year ago to finance a car loan. I called them up let them know I’d be getting caught up with my payments.  I was rudely interrogated by a very rude man.
“Where have you been?! Where have you been keeping your car? Where are you living?”
I was taken aback by his accusing tone of voice.
“What do you mean where have I been living?” I said confused.  “I am living where I have lived for the last four years.”
“No you are not!” He barked back at me.  “Where is the car? Where are you keeping it?”
Again I was confused as to the questions.  "It is parked and has been parked right in front of my house." I responded.
“No it has not!” He barked at me again.
I was surprised.  I had responded truthfully. I hadn't dealt with such a rude accusatory person before and didn’t know what more to say.
“We have driven by there to repossess it and have not seen the car for the last few weeks!  You could not possibly have been keeping it there!!!”  He was now yelling at me through the phone and I was shocked.  Here I was calling him up to pay the three payments I was behind and there he was accusing me of the most awful, dreadful of things.  Things I had not (and would not) have ever considered.
“I tell you the truth,” I responded. “ I have been home every night and the car has been parked out in front of my home every single night.  I have had no reason to hide, nor would I.”
“Yes you have!” He insisted. 
It was then that the Holy Spirit whispered me to me that while I had been praying that God would “hold back the hand of the devourer” in his mercy and grace He had shielded the car from their view.  They had been unable to see it.  God knew that as a single parent, one who needed her car to get around AND to get to work (as my job is not near public transportation) God made them blind to my car.  I was incredulous as this man ranted and raved on, God over road his accusation with His calm and steady voice and told me what He had done.  I could hear the man saying all kinds of slanderous and untrue things about me but God allowed the man’s voice to be in the background, while His spoke peacefully and calmly to me about what He had done.   God had kept my car.  You see?  God knew my heart, knew my circumstances, knew my character.  As this man got louder and ruder over the phone, I became calmer.  No one can take anything away from us unless God allows it.  Nothing can happen to us unless God wills it.  As surprised as I was by all this man loudly was accusing me of, I rejoiced because God allowed me to see that still His hand had been upon me in this circumstance.  And I was able to get caught up on my payments.  I share this with my readers as a testimony of what God can do.  HE is your provider, He is the One who makes a way where there is no way.  We are to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7) no matter how dire our circumstances may outwardly appear to be.  God IS in control.  And if God had allowed my car to be repossessed He would have provided another way of transportation for me, because I am His daughter.
 I thanked God for His Divine intervention in the spiritual realm upon my finances. I commanded my finances to line up! I rebuked the lack I had believed! I asked the Lord for forgiveness over the mistakes I had made in my finances and I asked Him for healing! I asked Him to hold back the devourer.  I began to believe that God desires to bless me with abundance instead of believing I would always lack.  You see, it IS true that we ARE what we believe.  But the power is over what we allow to be digested into our spirits.  What do YOU believe about yourself? What have you been told that even reading what I just shared – makes you see falsehoods and curses that may have unintentionally been spoken over you?  You need to rebuke those curses. Cover them with the blood of Jesus. Deny them.  Walk in the authority and the promises that God has given you.  It may not have been financially for you.  Maybe someone told you as a child you were ugly and that you had no worth.  WELL your Heavenly Father created you in HIS image.  You are NOT ugly – you are a precious beautiful creation.  God lovingly made you.  There are many scriptures that attest to this.  Perhaps you were told that you would not amount to anything and you believed it!  Before you were born God said, “I have plans for you – plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future!” (Jeremiah 29:11)
What have you believed?  
Who are YOU? 
Who do you believe YOU are??? 

If you feel defeated and down chances are that you need to change your mind as to how you view yourself.  I’m not saying this is easy.  I’m 47 years old and I’m JUST GETTING THIS NOW.  Watch how you refer to yourself and also watch what you allow to take into your spirit.  This is one reason why we are to put on our spiritual armor.
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. (Ephesians 6:10-18)

And once you have really thought about who you are, you will realize through that answer, who it is that God is to you.  It all ties in together.   Is He your Savior? Your Deliverer? Your Father? Your God?  Once you realize who YOU are, you will realize who God is to you.  How He fits in your life, because the two go hand in hand.

Who am I? 

I am a child of the Utmost High God.  I am imperfect – yet He is made perfect in my imperfectness.  I belong to Him.  I have chosen to be His vessel. I desire that there be more of Him and less of me within that vessel.  I boldly testify and share what He is doing in my life so that it will aid and help someone else who may be going through the same thing.  The Bible tells us:

We are many members but we are ONE in the body of Christ. (1 Corinthians 12:12)

 Who am I? 

I believe that I am a “finger” in the body of Christ because God has called me to write for Him.  To be honest and transparent in my writings that He may be glorified in ALL that He is doing in my life.  I call myself a “finger” because I type 95 wpm.  My desire is to write for Him.  It is my passion, my calling and my love.  If through my writings God is able to minister to even ONE individual, than my life has been worth my calling.

"For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith;if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." (Romans 12:4- 12:12)

What do I believe? 

I believe that God will not only have me triumph over my current financial situation – but that because I believe He is bigger than ANY problems He will indeed be glorified.  Because He knows my heart is one which I do not desire wealth out of greed  - but out of necessity so that my concentration will not be upon my debt – but upon my calling I know that He will bring me forth victorious from it!  Just as if you put your faith in God through whatever it is YOU are experiencing and whatever it is that is making YOU feel defeated – He will bring you forth victorious.  But first you need to know:

WHO are YOU?  Who Who, Who Who?  And then you will know what it is He who created you is calling you to be…. Oh yes, He is calling you… LISTEN and you will hear.

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. (Revelations 3:20)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

There are so many people in the same situation that you have experienced with their finances, self worth,depression,etc. But knowing God, and living for him truly,and giving thanks for what little we do have, will open doors we don't expect to open. I have been in your situation, and it's not a fun place to be. But God got me through it, thus the saying, God brought you to it, he will get you through it. You must believe, have strong faith,and know in your heart that He will prevail for you. I know this will reach and touch a lot of people who read this, and it only takes one time of seeing for yourself with your own eyes what God can do for you, and you will never doubt again. Thank you for sharing Kelly, I know you have touched a lot of lives with this true story. GOD IS GOOD...ALL THE TIME. God bless...