Here is the good news, if you look throughout your Bible, you can see that most of the people God uses abundantly are those who at one time or another in their walk, experienced a prodigal time in their journey. Think about it:
Abraham lied, Sarah laughed at God's promises.
Moses was a murderer, so was Paul
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
David had an affair and was a murderer
Jonah ran from God
Rahab was a prostitute
Peter denied Christ
The disciples fell asleep while praying
To name just a few... The point is - God uses ordinary people to carry out His extraordinary plan. His grace is sufficient. In fact, once you come to the realization that it is NOTHING BUT His forgiveness, His love, His mercy AND His Grace you are well on the road to healing.
“Lord, I am so sorry for grieving you. I didn't think of it that way. You have feelings as I do. I hurt you, when I sinned against your Word and commands. I grieved you. I am genuinely sorry. I know you have forgiven me, now I ask you to restore me. Restore our relationship. Renew our relationship. As I gave you my heart when I accepted you as my Lord and Savior I take back my heart from wherever/whoever I gave it to and give it again to YOU. Forgive me, heal me, help me. Thank you for never having left me – even though I had walked away from you. Renew our relationship and draw me nearer to You. I love you Lord. I give you my will, my heart and my hurt. I give you ALL I am. Please take all the shattered pieces of me and mold them back into one piece, stronger and able to love you more. I am not able to do this on my own. The pieces are too many, but you created my heart in the first place. Please put all the pieces back together as only you know how. I love you Father – I renounce ALL that led me away from You and pray that You would guide my steps again from this way forward. I can do nothing in and of my own self. Be with me, guide me, heal me, help me, use me. In the name of your Son, the one who willingly gave His life for mine. I pray. In Jesus precious name. AMEN.”