It has now been seven years since I started this blog. How quickly time goes by! We are many members but we are one in the body of Christ. Therefore you do not journey alone! Hopefully through this site you will be encouraged by the fact that many things you are going through in your own walk, others are going through (or have gone through) as well. Sometimes we think we are "going through things alone." But we are not. God said that "He would Never Leave Nor Forsake Us." (Hebrews 13:5) and that "There is Nothing New Under The Sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No man is an island. It's easy to forget that. May the words in this blog help you to think, encourage you in whatever spiritual state you are in and may the Lord use them to help us to grow in Him! He is the Author and Finisher of our faith!

I don’t want any readers to think that I am “promoting” being a prodigal. I definitely am not. But what I am hoping to do – is to encourage those of us who either have had or are currently experiencing a hard time in our walk to be honest about it. Personal conviction is a powerful thing, especially if you truly love the Lord. I think that sometimes the Body of Christ critiques and judges to the point where the person who is at the other end of that pointing finger feels ostracized, alienated and alone. I don't think that that is what Jesus intended. When I read through my Bible - I see a firm yet gentle restoration that Jesus ministered to those around Him. Look at John 21:15-19. When Peter who was at an all time low point in his walk - he was firmly, yet lovingly restored by Jesus. He didn't tear him down, or yell or make him feel any worse then he already did. He spoke to him lovingly and gently - and in doing so, Peter was able to repent and minister in a much more powerful, humble and confident way and it became one of the largest ministries ever.

Please note that I am only a vessel, my calling - to write. I dedicate this blog to the Lord and ask that He use it to reach out and touch whoever needs a special, loving, personal touch from Him. My hope is that the Holy Spirit allows you to see Him through the words (and not me). We go through things so that we can extend our right hand of fellowship behind us to assist and help someone else. Our Bible is the same today, as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow. (I am far from perfect and do not profess to have all the answers...) but the good news is - Our Heavenly Father does! His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy is real!Nothing you are experiencing in your walk comes as a surprise to Him! May He be glorified through this blog and may God bless you at whatever stage in your walk you are in!~

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor
I was diagnosed with early stage triple negative breast cancer on June 24th, 2010 - I have been cancer free for 7 years now. It was only a chapter in my life - NOT my life, but the impact is one that has changed my life forever. Its important for women to know that 80% of the breast cancer diagnosis come from women who don't have a history of it in their family (My family didn't). Early detection is the key. For more information please click on the pink ribbon above. It could save your life.


January 21, 2015

Broken Soldiers or Stupid Sheep?

There is one thing that I can honestly say from experience - God's plans are better than any plans  you could make for yourself... I think I've finally reached an age and a point in my life where I can honestly say I believe that, and know it personally to be true.  As an ex-prodigal, I see where I tried to take the reins of my life from God and in turn, made a colossal mess of things.

Looking back at "me" I can only shake my head because I was so stupidly naïve. What I experienced was genuine, what I felt was real, my emotions were genuine - all was real except the reality of the situation I was in.  I had taken the reins of my life from God and fallen, like Alice down her rabbit's hole into what I thought was reality... I believed a beautiful lie and because of it - I allowed myself to experience the type of pain that God (through His Word) had been trying to shield me from.  Please note that satan is a mastermind of illusion and making you believe things that are not as they seem or are not going to happen.  Don't belittle ol' slewfoot, he's good at what he does, remember his goal is to steal, kill and destroy and he'll trip you up any way he can.

Why do we go down pathways that God did not intend for us to go?  Because we are stupid sheep!

Seriously though - a lot of people see the Bible as a book of "no's."  Some people think that just having a Bible collecting dust in their house is really what a Bible is meant for, but the fact of the matter is The Bible is our get-through-life-GPS.  If you are a parent and you tell your child, "no don't touch the stove because its hot and you'll get burned," you're not saying it because you are a "mean" parent - you are saying it because you know that if that child touches the stove he/she is going to get burned!  Some of us that are hard headed and think we know "better" than God, and so when we touch that "so-called stove" we not only get burned;  we get third degree burns that leave scars and then we have the audacity to turn to "our Father" as if it is His fault that we got hurt in the first place!  All along we were the ones that chose not to listen or obey His word, which He has given to us to direct us - why?

Because He LOVES us!

He LOVES YOU.  YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU!!!!   Don't ask me to explain it - because lately, I have been raising my eyes heavenward, shaking my head and asking Him - "WHY?!!!"

"Why do you love us???? We are just a bunch of truly stupid, wayward sheep!"

But the fact of the matter is He does.  Dearly, with all His heart.  And when we come to Him with our hearts "burned" with  third degree burns because of our own stupidity of not having listened (or heeded) His book of directions (that is filled with true experiences that we are SUPPOSE to learn from, of people who came prior to us that were JUST as stupid as we are).  He takes our boo-boos and kisses them and heals them.

Not only did God heal me from breast cancer, this past Fall He took my bruised and injured heart into His hands and tenderly healed it.  I know it was Him because it certainly was not me.

Wayward, disobedient, hard headed, stubborn - does that sound like you too?  I had taken the reins of my life into my own hands - ME.  And Oh yes - the degree of emotional pain I suffered for it as I stupidly was led down a pathway of deception and lies was beyond third degree...

But Prodigal - what God does once  you have confessed and repented and admitted what you have been through (or are going through), He wraps you up in a big ol' bear hug so tight you doubt you'll be able to breath!  He hugs you THAT hard.  And He says, "I've missed you... Welcome Home."

For a while you'll wander around the house - touching things you haven't seen for a while.  All the while rethinking what you have been through, wondering WHY you allowed yourself to go there and fall or believe the what you now recognize were lies of the devil.  Once you are back home it all seems so ridiculous.  You feel as though you should have known better.  How could you have believed what you did when it was so obviously clear that Wonderland could never become your reality - and it didn't, no matter how HARD you had believed it would...  If you have been a prodigal, you know what I'm talking about....

Through His grace, His forgiveness, His mercy and His love you find yourself holding on tighter to Him than ever before.  Like a child who follows their Father from room to room - you don't want to let Him out of your sight.  You have to go with Him every where.  You know too well what it feels like to let go of His hand and get lost in the crowd of people.  So this time you are holding on to His hand soooooooo tightly with sheer determination never to let go.  EVER AGAIN.

As You go through the house, you realize that what He has in store for your future is so much better than anything you could ever have thought of yourself!  And here is the thing, you lose the desire for what you thought you wanted, because you realize that it was not God's best for your life.  You thought it was, you believed it was - but in the healing of those "third degree burns" God changes the desires of your heart.  He has to, or you won't heal.  He shows you that the plans He has for your life are more fulfulling and satisfying than anything you could possibly even think you should have.  Not that those people/things/dreams come right away - No, God allows you time to bask in Him. To heal in Him.  To rediscover the fact that He is your all in all.  I find it fascinating that any time now I even consider "taking the reins back" I remember the pain that I went through having done that and quickly give them back to the Father - saying, "NOOOOOOOOO Thank You!  I don't want them!  I don't ever want to experience the pain my taking those reins in the first place caused me! I'm FINE with whatever you have in store....  Here you go Father - you can gladly have the reins of my life because YOU know so much better than I what I need and when I need it."

I think that is when the Father reaches down to touch our "bandaged" hands (from touching that off limits stove) and kisses our bandages.  The longer you touched that forbidden off limit stove the deeper your wounds and the longer the healing takes.  But during the time of healing, you spend time with your Father and you discover anew how wonderful He is.  Along with the healing and grace and forgiveness He brings clarity.  He renews your mind. 

You become transformed by the renewal of your mind! (Romans 12:2)  

I guess that is why true repentance is turning AWAY from whatever it is that caused you to sin.

We think we know so much more than God - until we realize we don't.  His Word (if you take time to read it) is written because He loves us.  Because He knows ever so much more than we do.  It's there to GUIDE us.  To help us, to encourage us, to make us think, to help us learn.  We only have to heed it and pray for wisdom and understanding as we read it.  Something our Father will gladly give us.

I am at a point now where I know that He knows best.  I want God's best, I don't ever want to walk away from Him again and take up the reins of my life because I know when I did - I got dreadfully lost.  Yes, I have been a prodigal.  What did I learn?  That I am not one any more - that what I am is a precious, well loved child of the utmost HIGH God.  That I am a "King's kid."(Even at the sweet age of 48! :)).  That my Father loves me more than I possibly can understand.  And guess what?  He loves you too... There is nothing like a good ol' bear hug from the one who is able to hug the whole world at once and STILL make you feel like YOU are special. Give Him the reins of YOUR life and see what I mean...  His best is better than anything you could imagine... The best is yet to come - but it's not *my* best - it's HIS.

No comments: