It has now been seven years since I started this blog. How quickly time goes by! We are many members but we are one in the body of Christ. Therefore you do not journey alone! Hopefully through this site you will be encouraged by the fact that many things you are going through in your own walk, others are going through (or have gone through) as well. Sometimes we think we are "going through things alone." But we are not. God said that "He would Never Leave Nor Forsake Us." (Hebrews 13:5) and that "There is Nothing New Under The Sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No man is an island. It's easy to forget that. May the words in this blog help you to think, encourage you in whatever spiritual state you are in and may the Lord use them to help us to grow in Him! He is the Author and Finisher of our faith!

I don’t want any readers to think that I am “promoting” being a prodigal. I definitely am not. But what I am hoping to do – is to encourage those of us who either have had or are currently experiencing a hard time in our walk to be honest about it. Personal conviction is a powerful thing, especially if you truly love the Lord. I think that sometimes the Body of Christ critiques and judges to the point where the person who is at the other end of that pointing finger feels ostracized, alienated and alone. I don't think that that is what Jesus intended. When I read through my Bible - I see a firm yet gentle restoration that Jesus ministered to those around Him. Look at John 21:15-19. When Peter who was at an all time low point in his walk - he was firmly, yet lovingly restored by Jesus. He didn't tear him down, or yell or make him feel any worse then he already did. He spoke to him lovingly and gently - and in doing so, Peter was able to repent and minister in a much more powerful, humble and confident way and it became one of the largest ministries ever.

Please note that I am only a vessel, my calling - to write. I dedicate this blog to the Lord and ask that He use it to reach out and touch whoever needs a special, loving, personal touch from Him. My hope is that the Holy Spirit allows you to see Him through the words (and not me). We go through things so that we can extend our right hand of fellowship behind us to assist and help someone else. Our Bible is the same today, as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow. (I am far from perfect and do not profess to have all the answers...) but the good news is - Our Heavenly Father does! His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy is real!Nothing you are experiencing in your walk comes as a surprise to Him! May He be glorified through this blog and may God bless you at whatever stage in your walk you are in!~

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor
I was diagnosed with early stage triple negative breast cancer on June 24th, 2010 - I have been cancer free for 7 years now. It was only a chapter in my life - NOT my life, but the impact is one that has changed my life forever. Its important for women to know that 80% of the breast cancer diagnosis come from women who don't have a history of it in their family (My family didn't). Early detection is the key. For more information please click on the pink ribbon above. It could save your life.


December 28, 2015

Are You Living a Musical Chairs or Wonder Ball Kind of Life?

I really must get in the habit of jotting down notes… There are days when I am inspired and think, “oooooh this would be a good idea for a post!” And then proceed to forget what that inspiration was…
I always tend to get a bit sentimental with the ending of a year… I look back at all that has occurred, the things that I have learned and try to decide what it is I’m going to take with me into the New Year and what it is I’m going to discard.  I find myself feeling a bit anxious of the unexpected, knowing fully well that I have no control over the future, but that God tells me in His Word, “The number of my days He will fulfill.” (Exodus 23:26)
Sometimes I get this this “Alice in Wonderland” feeling – the sense that I have fallen down an unexpected hole and entered into a world that I am uncertain and unfamiliar of… Our world has changed so much.  Common sense and common courtesy are things of the past.  Maybe it’s just that I’m getting older… Naaaaah that’s not it, I truly believe we are living in the last days; right has become wrong, wrong has become right, anything goes.  I think if it wasn’t for my faith and dependence on God that I would probably have lost my absolute mind.  I don’t know those who don’t know Christ as their Lord and Savior are keeping their sanity; the world has become such a scary place to live.
Sometimes I feel like life has become like the game, “musical chairs” do you remember playing that as a kid? Where you walk around and around as the music of your life is playing and you quickly have to grab a chair before all the chairs are occupied and you are left standing… Or like the game “The Wonder ball” do you remember that?  The song went:
“The wonder ball goes round and round, to pass it quickly you are bound, if you’re the one to hold it last the game for you has quickly passed and you are out – O-U-T out!”
I suppose those are the times when we should be praying more diligently for direction, as that clearly shows worry and anxiety which is not of God, yet in this day and age I think many people would truly admit that life often feels like one of those games.  What do you do when you feel anxious? When you feel totally out of control?  When up seems down and down seems up? How do you pull yourself together? What are you planning on taking with you into the New Year and discarding from this year? And you have to be careful here, especially if you are an ex-prodigal because we tend to be our own worst critics.  We’ve become super overly sensitive to what needs to be worked upon within our own lives.  Remember to give yourself credit for the things that you have changed and grown upon, I believe that as long as we have breath in our bodies we will always be learning and changing (hopefully for the better).
What have I learned from 2015?  I’m going to be real transparent here, because it’s important that we be honest with ourselves. We cannot hide from God – He sees it ALL.  I truly never understood why Adam and Eve tried to hide from a God who is omnipotent.  I choose not to fool myself and do the same, I am honest with God about my short comings because I know He knows them anyways! No point in trying to hide them!
For myself – I have discovered that with surviving cancer,  I have developed a fear for living… A fear of the unexpected, a fear that I will miss ALL that God has for me because I tend to hesitate and question each step I take.  I guess in being an ex-prodigal I’m afraid to make mistakes. I’ve become less confident with my own choices.  I question myself more.  There are still parts of me that feel rebellious, that need healing.  What does this indicate if I am to be completely honest about it?  It indicates that I have a lack of trust in God (ouch).  There is clearly some spiritual healing that needs to occur in my life.  I can be honest and admit that.  I have to allow myself to be open to it.  I need to trust God more.  I need to believe that God has my best interests at heart. There are things that have happened in my life that make this difficult for me.  It is an area of growth that I need to examine and pray more fully about. It’s even hard for me to type those words on paper, but it is the truth and it is something that God and I need to work together on in the year to come.
Now take a hard good look at yourself… You don’t have to admit it to anyone else – only to yourself.  What do YOU need to work on within you???  I’m not talking “New Year’s resolution” those tend to peeter out three weeks into the New Year.  I’m talking, in looking back at this past year – what have you learned? And what are you going to do about it?
What has God shown me in 2015? He has shown me that His best for me is better than anything I could have picked out for myself.  That truly sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone to find what we are looking for – and what God has for us.  In venturing beyond my own back yard, stepping out in faith I have walked into a love I never knew could exist.  One that is beyond my wildest imagination;  One that could only come from God.  Is it scary? Of course!  Anything that makes you vulnerable is scary, especially when your heart is on the line – but here is the thing, you’ve heard the saying, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained?” If you live a life behind walls and full of fear at the many uncertainties of life, you miss out on some of the BEST parts of life.  God’s word says:
 “That He came so that you could live life ABUNDANTLY.” (John 10:10). 
But here is the thing – unless you step out and receive that abundancy, you won’t have it.  It is a gift.  A gift that is only good IF you receive it.  Are you receiving it??? Maybe one of the things you need to work on in the New Year is receiving… Believing that God has GOOD things in store for you, the Bible also says:
“If you then though you are evil, know how to give good things to your children, how MUCH more so will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those that ask Him?” (Matthew 7:11)
Often times we don’t believe that God wants to bless us.  We believe He blesses others – but when it comes to our own selves, we have trouble believing.

God has a plan for our lives, what we need to do is discover what that plan is (through prayer) and then step out in faith and walk in it!  But here is the thing – we have to take a step!  He’s not going to make you – He is going to direct you, He is going to encourage you but YOU have to step out and actually take that step to walk in it.  It is scary, but at the same time there is no greater feeling than being in the center of God’s will.  Sometimes we are our own road blocks in being there.  We need to push our OWN selves out of the way! Sometimes we are the ones who are blocking our own blessings because of uncertainty, because of fear, because we don’t know how to receive.  Are these things you need to work on in the New Year?
As we end this year and begin another, I pray that you (and I) will look back on the previous year, thank God for it and also consider what God is doing in your life.  This will take a quietness of your spirit to be still and consider all the good lessons and bad that you have experienced.  Spiritual growing pains never go away – and that is a good thing because it means that we are sensitive to the Holy Spirit and working towards whatever it is that God wants you to become.  And you can bet that the plan He has for your life is better than anything you could plan yourself.  Trust Him.

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