A Modern - Yet Very Old Tale

Sometimes, the only one left holding the stones - is us, ourselves.
If God can forgive you, isn't it time you forgave yourself?
"Go now and sin no more." (John 8:11)

"How did I ever get to this point?"  She wondered as she stood there shivering, trying to inconspicuously pull up the strap of her shift, which had fallen off her left shoulder.  she shivered, scantily clad, not having been given the opportunity to put on a robe or cover herself with something of substance.  Never before had she been more aware of her life situation. Her gaze was downward, she didn't need to lift her eyes to see the accusing and angry eyes blazing over her. The men surrounded her, poised to throw the stones they held in their hands.  Their aim directed at their target, which in this case was her.

It would be over soon.  She prayed that when the first stone was thrown, that it would hit her directly in the temple and knock her out, or quickly kill her.  She knew that she deserved what was coming, and received their judgment as justified.  She dare not lift up her eyes, for fear accusation would show in her own eyes for those who she knew had secretly partaken with other women for the same reason she stood before them now.  It was not her place to accuse, her own sins were boldly before her. 

Although she wouldn't look up, she did allow herself  a quick glance sideways at the man she had been found with. He stood way off to the distance clearly begging his wife for forgiveness, promising her anything to come back into her good graces.  She knew this because he was actually groveling at his wife's feet, his wife's arms crossed against her chest, listening to his ridiculous pleas and promises with disdain.  Would his wife forgive him? Probably.  It was hard to believe that this was the same man who had sworn she was his "one true love" the "only one who ever understood him, believed in him or had accepted him for who he truly was."  Yet was he there standing beside her?  Was he there defending her? Was he even willing to be stoned alongside her? NO. Fool she was for ever having believed him. Loved him. Now here she stood, her life on the line.  It was taking forever for this circle of men to kill her, couldn't they just do it and be done with it?! Not one of them could hold as much disdain for her as she did for herself.  Would that she could throw the first stone at her own head.

"How did I get to this point?"  She wondered.  "How did I allow myself to participate in something I knew was wrong?"  As she stood there, waiting for the first stone to be thrown, she thought about her life. Ironically, the one thing she had sworn she would never do. She had done.  Her father had left her mother for another woman, and she had seen from first hand experience as a child the unhappiness that action had wrought.  She had sworn she would not become like him.  She had hated him with a white hot searing hate, yet, here she stood. She had gone against all that she had known was right - how? Why and when?  She had been a good faithful girl all her life.  Never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined that here she would stand.  Ostracized, forsaken, guilty, alone and about to be stoned.  Still she waited.  It was taking forever.  There was a man, dressed in white addressing the men holding the stones.  He had their undivided attention, which for the moment was off of her.  She could run.  She wouldn't get very far, she knew - but she could run.  But she didn't.  She didn't because she knew she deserved what was coming to her.

Why had she done it? The relentless question in her head tortured her worse than any stone throw could. WHY?  And then the answer came to her.  Really, it was nothing but a flimsy excuse. But it was the truth.  She had wanted to disappear, to go away.  She had wanted to forget,to lose herself... She hadn't been able to deal with the issues occurring in her life, life had not turning out the way she had expected it to and it made no sense to her,  1+1 was supposed to = 2.   But it hadn't.  So she disappeared into a life she believed was real. She had gotten lost in a lifestyle she had been convinced was real life.  Somewhere along the line the lines of reality and fantasy had become blurred and with it the ability to see things as they truly were. Any time reality would knock upon her door, she had become angry with it. She had denied it! "We shared a tent! We shared a love! We shared a life! He was mine! I was his!" No, she wouldn't go back.  It hadn't helped that her co-sinner had agreed and shared and encouraged her with selfish lies, love filled promises he had never truly intended to keep. She wouldn't look at him again.  The truth had hit her squarely in the head, he had never truly been hers in the first place and she had sinned against God, she knew the consequences. It wouldn't matter now, she'd be dead shortly.

"Oh why was it taking so long?!" She bit her lip in frustration, wanting to scream. "DO IT! THROW IT! I SINNED! I AM GUILTY.  YOUR JUDGMENT IS JUST!"  Yet she stood still, knowing it wasn't her place to do anything than stand there allowing goose bumps to form on her body.  How could she be so cold when her heart was racing so fast?

"Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.  In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women.  Now what do you say?"

Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.

She had heard of this Jesus.  This man robed in white.  What was he writing? She strained her eyes to see, but she couldn't tell. 

"Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw the stone at her."  Again Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time.  The older ones first, until only Jesus was left.

She couldn't believe it, they were throwing their stones - down on the ground, not at her.  Her jaw dropped in surprise.  Though still she stood.

Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one sir," she responded softly.

"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared.  "Go now and leave your life of sin."

(*Italic bold print taken from John 8:3-11)

I wish the Bible said more as to what happened to that woman.  How she moved forward with her life.  My hope is that when confronted with her lifestyle and when her eyes opened to show her how her life had been, that she chose to follow Jesus.  He was probably the first man to ever show her love. Yes, my hope is that she ran back to her tent, dressed quickly, grabbed a shawl and followed Jesus for the remaining days of His ministry (or her life).  She was a prodigal, as is anyone who chooses to go down a sinful pathway.  Perhaps she encountered others who had fallen as she had and was able to grow into a strong woman of God and extend the right hand of fellowship to young women and keep them from falling in the way she had.  Perhaps she found her own self worth because of the love, forgiveness and grace shown to her by Jesus.  More than likely her biggest accuser was her own self (which is often the case with ex-prodigals, no matter the sin).  But Jesus encouraged her to go forward, clearly we will not know the ending of her story until we are on the other side - but there is one thing that is clear.  Our God is a God of second chances.  Our God is a God of grace, and forgiveness and love and mercy.  The Bible tells us:

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

No matter what your sin has been (or is) Jesus died for you. His words are the same today as they were yesterday, "Go now, and leave your life of sin." (John 8:11).  It doesn't matter WHAT that sin is - listen to Him.  Heed Him, the life He has for you is so much better than any life you could choose for yourself.  You just have to believe it.  As an ex-prodigal, myself I can tell you that the hardest part is the aftermath, the forgiving yourself and the moving forward.  As I wrote in a prior post, any ex-prodigal is in good company, for the Bible is filled with them:

Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer..
AND Lazarus was dead!

(*Taken from rapturenotes.com)

What are (or were) YOU?  God's grace, forgiveness, mercy and love can take the worst of us and allow us to use our "mess" for a message and use it for His glory, now that is what I call - a Happy Ending... Or maybe, better yet - A new beginning? You decide...

It IS All About YOU!



We are a spirit, which has a soul, which lives in a body.
The three parts that make up YOU.

Most people start the New Year off with a New Year’s resolution.  No sooner is one made with sincerity and a heartfelt promise of commitment, than 30 days later – it’s broken.  I chuckled to myself as on January 1^st I pulled into the parking lot of my gym to discover it completely packed.  As I gathered my gym bag, my ear phones and my membership card out of my car, I giggled as I thought, “Yep – here are all the New Year’s Resoluters, by the end of January they will all have petered out.”  Well, maybe that is not exact – 50% will have petered out…

Two years ago I began a workout program, Couch to 5K.  When I started it I kind of snorted and was like, “Me, run? Yeah, RIGHT.” I have never been a sports minded individual.  Come on now, I was your theatre major! Didn’t care for it, didn’t watch it on TV and couldn’t care less which team/individual won (shhhhh I’m from Massachusetts – let me be “politically correct” and say, “Go Red Sox, Bruins, Patriots!!!”), yet with being a cancer survivor I have become more aware how important it is to be healthy.  Over the last two years I have become a runner.  On the treadmill mind you, not outside… I haven’t graduated to that point yet.  I prefer the treadmill.  I grab my headset and my iPhone, put on the Couch to 10K Program (I graduated from the 5K) and I get lost in my country music and the program.  I call it, “running away.”  There is a saying that if you try something for 21 days it becomes a habit.  I determined in my head that I was going to run and like it!  I held on to that determination like someone riding a stationary bull – and I won!

To my surprise what I discovered is that our soul (which includes are mind, will and emotions), our body and our spirit really do go hand in hand.  We are a spirit; we have a soul which lives in a body.  How one is treated affects the other two.  You have probably heard the saying, “you are what you eat?”  I never paid that much mind.  I was more like, “yeah, yeah, yeah.”  But it is TRUE.  Certain foods not only make you build up fat, but also make you feel sluggish.  They are yummy and most are comfort foods or things we eat out of habit, but they do affect your weight, your health and how you go about your day.   They also affect how you feel about yourself.  If you don’t care about your weight, you won’t do anything to make yourself healthier.  Or maybe you’ll never give it any other thought – until you go see the doctor for a physical and you discover that your cholesterol is high, your blood sugars are high or you are a great candidate for a stroke or heart attack.  Or, like me – you get diagnosed with cancer.  Talk about a wakeup call! How you treat your body, matters.   The Bible tells us:

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

Talk about responsibility!  I am not, never been and never will be a “gym rat.”  You can go from one extreme to another – but the truth of the matter is, your body is only one part of the equation, you also have your soul (mind, will and emotions) and your spirit.  The key is balance.  I have discovered that if I don’t go for a run, it affects my mind and brings my spirit down.  They say that exercising sets off endorphins that endorse mood-boosting chemicals that combat depression.  Personally, I have found that to be true. I have jokingly told people that, “I don’t drink (except for an occasional glass of wine or hard lemonade), I don’t smoke, and I’m currently *not* in a relationship – so when I get stressed, for relief, I run!  And it picks up my mood, makes me feel better (and also makes those that are around me WANT to be around me! LOL).  It helps my mood, which picks up my spirit.  I’ve blogged about this before, but the truth of the matter is we are a being that consists of three parts and they need to be balanced.  We need to take care of our bodies, our soul and our spirit.

In terms of our minds, the Bible tells us that we need to guard our minds.  It is the battlefield in which ol’slewfoot tries to discourage us or trip us up.

“Be renewed in the spirit of your mind,” (Ephesians 4:23)

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” (Isaiah 26:3)

“I keep every thought under control in order to make it obey Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:6)

This is one reason why it is important to read your Bible and get the Word into you.  It protects your s0ul (mind, will & emotions) and feeds your spirit.  You see?  We are one being made up of three parts, body, soul (mind, will and emotions), and spirit.  It is through our spirit that we are able to have fellowship with God.  Our spiritual health has a significant impact on our emotional health and our physical health.

For myself, as I contemplated the changes I want to occur in my walk with God and in my life for 2015, I suppose you could say that my “New Year’s Resolution” is one where I have decided that I need to be attentive to the three parts of “me”   -My body, my soul (mind, will & emotions), and my spirit, try to maintain a healthy balance between the three.  I believe in doing so, I will experience a wellness of my soul, contentment in my life, continued physical health and a new maturity and understanding in my walk with God.

“Jesus replied:'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'”(Matthew 22:37)

What are your goals for this New Year?  What changes can you make for yourself which will benefit all three parts of you?  Once you become aware of the fact that you consist of a body, soul and spirit you start to realize when one is being neglected how it affects the other two.  It’s kind of a juggling act.

It’s ALL about YOU.  If you haven’t thought about it, maybe it’s time you did?  Or as Jesus said:

“Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.” (1 Thessalonians 5:23)

Goodbye 2014 Fare Thee Well!! Lea Michele- Auld lang syne *Lyrics*

Looking Forward, Not Behind



Close the door and say a final goodbye to things worth "goodbying" as you close the door to 2014. Wait with joyful expectation on the wonderful things God has in store for you in 2015.  The best is YET to come! 

You never know what is going on behind the façade of someone’s face. We live in a day and age where people are ready to snap in a moment.  Common sense is no longer common.  Common courtesy no longer exists.  People are only concerned about themselves.  We have become a microwave society where we want what we want when we want it and the heck with what anyone else thinks or feels. We are truly living in the last days.

“But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5)

“Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. You must be on your guard. You will be handed over to the local councils and flogged in the synagogues. On account of me you will stand before governors and kings as witnesses to them. And the gospel must first be preached to all nations. Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit. Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.  Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” (Mark 13:8-13)

None of the above should be news to us, as we hear it on the news every night.  It is more an awareness than anything else.  Along with the anxiety of the above comes concern and depression but we are not without hope because the battle has already been won.  As we enter into the New Year, let us not be discouraged but encouraged because God is still in control.  Let us treat others with kindness and understanding and love.  Let us think about how Jesus would respond.  Let us turn the other cheek when someone offends us and surprise them by showing an outpouring of love and forgiveness.  This is not something that is easy to do and totally goes outside of our nature.  Let us remember to PRAY for our nation.  Pray and encourage others.  Let the light of Christ shine forth as a beacon of light in a dark stormy world where people are running scared.  It is so easy to get filled with anxiety over what we hear on the news or what we see going on in the people surrounding us.  We need to be a calming influence.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of sound mind.” (2^nd Timothy 1:7)

"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.  Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:13-16)

I know it is hard letting the light of Christ shine through us when we feel overwhelmed by the darkness of the world that surrounds us, but we need to remember that the Bible also says:

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

We don’t have the strength or energy or know how to combat things on our own accord.  It is only through Christ that we are able to go forward.  May one of our prayers for 2015 be to trust Him more.  To remember who we are in Christ. 

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you.” (Isaiah 43:1-2)

As this old year passes away, let us reflect on it and think about those lessons (especially for prodigals that have come back home) we have experienced and learned.

Think about the doors that God has had you close this year.  Maybe it was a door you didn’t want to close.  Maybe it was a door that God had to close FOR you because you weren’t strong enough to close it for yourself.  Maybe you are still smarting from the pain of it.  Don’t reopen it, don’t go by your feelings no matter how much you wish that door was still open  – leave it closed.  It has been closed for a reason.  Don’t reopen a wound that God is healing. Remember that we only see in part – but God see’s in full.  If He has allowed a door to your life to close, there is a reason for it.  Seal it shut and walk away from the door for 2015.  There is a better door full of God’s abundant blessings coming your way. You just have to trust Him. 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your own understanding.  In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Pray for those who persecute you.  The only ones that ol’ slewfoot can use to hurt you are those you love the most.  It is hardest to pray for someone who has hurt you, but in doing so there is freedom there.  Say the words even if you don’t feel them as you say them.  Just getting them out is the hardest of things to do.  In time it will come easier, the pain of deception will fade away and you’ll find you are able to pray sincerely from the heart and not just out of obedience.  This is what God has called you to do.

Don’t allow ol’slewfoot to make you bitter or to doubt God cares.  He does!  The plans He has in store for you are better than any you could make for yourself.  Just believe it. Why? Because He says so!

"For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:9-11)

If you are a prodigal who has come back home, look ahead of you and not behind, close the door to 2014 and praise God that He is a God of second chances.  A God of grace, a God of love, a God of forgiveness.  2014 has been covered by His precious blood – now go forward in His grace thankful for a fresh new start – or as I say – a fresh new page of life to write upon.  Keep your eyes looking forward and remember all that you have learned.  Remember what He has brought you through and glorify Him further because of it.

Remember also that the doors that ol'slewfoot tempts us can very often be those we least expect. 

"Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves." (Matthew 10:16)

He will not come in something unattractive, but something that beckons to you and makes you turn your head. That is why it is called temptation. Use wisdom and pray about all things.

Tonight, as you close the door permanently on another year past, thank God for having brought you through it and trust Him that as He says in His word, “The number of your days He will fulfill.” (Exodus 23:26) He knows what He is doing, as you say goodbye to 2014 trust Him for 2015.  He is in control!

Here's to the year 2015 – May God bless, encourage you and draw you nearer to Him.  May His good and perfect will be done in your life.  May He open up the windows of Heaven and rain down blessings upon you so abundantly that you will not be able to hold them in both hands!  Remember Who has called you, remember who has created you, remember who loves you and praise His blessed name!

Breathe - Michael W. Smith

Mary Mary - Shackles (Praise You)

Deception

"Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave, When First We Practice to Deceive!"
~ Sir Walter Scott

Even if he did say so himself, the web was magnificent, translucent and large. The design beautifully created, although unless you were of his species you would not be able to appreciate its intricate design, the time it had taken and extreme care that had gone into its making.  Now to sit and wait, it would only be a matter of time…

She was beautifully stupid.  It didn’t occur to her that she should stop and think before proceeding.  Like a mermaid’s siren, she was seduced by it and had to follow where it led.   Where was it coming from? Who was singing it? The song was lovely; it filled her with wonder and curiosity which over ruled common sense.  It was magical and fascinating and beautiful all at the same time.  She was mesmerized; willingly she followed it like a sleep walker only awake.

“What is your pleasure?” Whispered a seductive voice in her ear, “tell me my love and I shall give you everything your heart desires.”  She believed it.  She delighted in it, not once did she ever question the source.  “What have you always wanted and never had?  Come away with me…” It enticed her.  She went forward.  She did not see a web, she saw a beautifully intricate pathway that glistened like diamonds and silver, it filled her with wonder, delight and pleasure at the very sight of it.  The closer she walked towards it the more dim the problems and dilemmas and disappointments of her daily life dimmed.  Like a moth attracted to light, she walked towards it.  It filled her with desire, it filled her with pleasure, and it filled her with wonder. “Yes, that’s it.  Come to me my darling, closer still and I will reach out my hand to you.”

Red flag warnings came up in her mind that made her stop and hesitate for just one moment  but the temptation to find out what was ahead was stronger. She had to touch it, as she reached out to touch it her hand got caught on the web and the harder she tried to free herself the more caught she became.  First it was her hand, and then it was her wrist, her forearm.  The more she struggled for freedom the more stuck she became and it reeled her in like fish caught on a line until there she hung upon the web, full bodied.  The stars that had blinded her fell like scales from her eyes and she realized how ugly a situation she had allowed herself in.

Out of the corner he stepped out into the light revealing himself in his true form, which was nothing how she had pictured him to be.  He walked over to her and laughed a diabolical laugh, delighted that his scheme had succeeded.

“Welcome to my web of deception.”  He said, tilting his head to the side.  “Truly the connotation of you each being like dumb sheep is accurate.  It never ceases to amaze me how gullible you are.  It is almost too easy sometimes…  What is it the spider said to the fly? ‘Come into my parlor?’ and she did.”  He threw his head back and laughed.

She struggled to free herself, entangling herself further.

He studied her with interest, “A fighter, are you? Unfortunately for you, you walked into this situation of your own good and perfect will and now you are truly stuck… I’ve a few other traps I need to check upon, so sit tight.” He barked out a laugh and melted back into the darkness.

Oh how stupid she felt to have fallen for such a farce. The more she struggled the more the web held her tight.  Why hadn’t she heeded the red flagged warnings?  What to do?  What to do?

The spirit of depression came over her as she felt deflated like an airless balloon.  All her sins and faults danced before her mind, taunting her, cajooling and mocking her. 

“Pray,” came a whisper.

She hesitated and looked in the direction he had disappeared, she was afraid to respond out loud for fear he would hear her and return.  “I feel so stupid; I don’t know what to pray.” She thought.  “I knew better yet I never saw this coming.  How something that sounded so beautiful could be so deceptive.”

"And no wonder, for satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." (2 Corinthians 11:14)

"Did you think he would come in a manner you would recognize? That would have been too easy... "Came the soft response.  "That is why it says:"

"Be as wise wise as serpents as an innocent as doves." (Matthew 10:16) 

"Perhaps I should just give up then... I can't free myself."

"No you cannot, but the good news is He came to set the captives free. Pray..."

Taking a deep hesitating and shaky breath, she prayed:

"Father, I come before you praising you and thanking you that when I am weak you are made strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) and that greater are You that is in me than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4).  I'm afraid I've made a mess of things and can't seem to find my way out.  You say in Your Word that whatever we bind on earth will be bound in Heaven and whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in Heaven. (Matthew 18:18)  I ask that you would loose me from these chains that hold me fast in the precious name of Your Son, my Savior Jesus Christ. Forgive me for my sins and wash me with His precious blood, please help me to put my feet back on the pathway I should be on. I thank you that I can call on You for guidance and for help.  I thank you for your mercy, your grace and your love which sustains me.  In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

As if sliced a part, the webs that held her released her, she was free.

"Now clothe yourself in your spiritual armor."

"Lord, I put on the helmet of salvation and the breast plate of righteousness.  Around my waist I put the belt of truth and I shod my feet with the preparation of the gospel.  I pick up my shield of faith and grab my sword of the Spirit." (Ephesians 6:10-18)

At that very moment, he returned.   "Nooooooooo!!!" He screamed when he saw she was free.  He charged at her, but she raised her shield in front of her and he came to an abrupt hault.

"Get behind me satan. I am a child of the Utmost High God.  I am covered with the precious blood of Jesus Christ. I belong to him!"

As she boldly stood with her legs a part and her sword of the Spirit waving in one hand, shield of faith in the other he disappeared in front of her like a puff of smoke... "We will meet again..." he threatened as he vanished.

God had given her the strength to get through it, as the devil disappeared, so did her strength and she dropped her arms to her side, exhausted.

"Thank You Lord for  never leaving nor forsaking me, for giving me the strength I need at the moments I need it most."  Tucking her sword in it's sheild by her waist, and picking up her shield.  She wiped off the webbing residue from her shoulders and turned around to step back on the pathway she should never have departed, humbled but wiser and stronger in Him. And forward she proceeded.

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, pressing on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called her heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14)

"Not by Power, Not by Might, but by My Spirit, Says the Lord."
(Zechariah 4:6)

 
 

 

"I Am A Christian" By Maya Angelou

 

When I say ... "I am a Christian"

"I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow

Seasons Change

It's Time to Celebrate Life! "L'Chaim!"

Good things come to ex-Prodigals!  Oh yes… You just have to believe it!  It is so easy to stay in a “head hung down” position.  But THAT is not your calling!  Once a prodigal does not mean ALWAYS a prodigal!  You know, once the son returned home the Father killed the fatted calf!  They celebrated!  They had a party!  In other words the son was loved up mighty much!  Hopefully he was able to enjoy it!

“But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.' And they began to celebrate.…” (Luke 15:23-24)

If you have made your way back home, it’s time to stop looking behind you, and look ahead.  A prodigal journey is not one that should last you ALL your life.  It was a season.  Seasons change and now it’s time to move forward, wiser with the information you have gained.  Stop beating yourself up, let go of what has already been let go.  If God’s not holding you for it, why should you?  Get out of that “time out corner” that you have put yourself in and begin a fresh.  You can’t go back, you can’t change the past BUT you can go forward.  Straighten up that back, raise that chin high, lift those eyes up, they’ve been focused down too long.  YOU are a child of the UTMOST HIGH God.  You are royalty.  You belong to Him.  It’s time to move forward.  Close the doors on 2014 and wait with baited breath and joyful expectation for all that He has in store for you for 2015.

I have learned from my experience with cancer that life is too short.  That you must savor every moment! That each day we are given is a gift from God, a blank sheet of paper to write fresh upon!  So write well!  He has given you gifts – discover them and use them!  There is no greater joy than using your God given talents to glorify Him!  Try something new in 2015.  Is there something you’ve always wanted to try?  Something you’ve never done before?  As I have stated in my previous posts, I bought a quilted board that I call my “Bucket Board.”  I have begun to list things I plan to do in 2015 on it.  Things I had put off for one reason or another.   What desires has God put into your heart?  Maybe take a moment to write them down and list them.  You might find yourself giggling over them as I did, because some of them things that came to mind, were funny!  For instance, I plan on trying to ride one of those stationary bulls.  I’ve always wanted to try it! So why not?! If anything it will be a crack up and who knows? Perhaps I will actually surprise myself by being able to hold on longer than I imagine! J

Wrap your arms around life and hug it REAL tight.  These are the memories that later on, you’ll look back on.  Don’t let ol’slew foot keep you stagnant in a pool of prodigal regrets that you have already come out of, if you’ve made your way back home – your outta there!  Don’t stew in it.  Life is a journey with peaks and valleys and you need to keep stepping!   

When I went through cancer, I gained an inch scar where they took the cancer out, right where you would place your hand to say the pledge of allegiance.  I gained a huge scar underneath my left arm pit.  They did what they had to do to save my life – and they did it well.  Compared to what some of my beautiful Pink Sisters have gone through, physically my body has changed little (most of my scarring from my experience is more predominan upon what cancer did to my life and the wounds show up more upon my soul).  My body had gone through a war – and by the mercy and grace and love of God, I came out of it victorious, my life in tack, but I felt as though I wanted (needed) to take my body back.  Claim it as my own once again.  Hence, I made a decision to do something I never thought I would do – get a tattoo as a birthday present to me, for me with love.  Around my left ankle I got a pink ribbon tattoo (like an anklet) with a white ribbon entwined with it that says, “Survivor.”  I claimed my body back as MINE.  Later on I got another tattoo of a butterfly with my favorite quote from  the movie (musical) Fiddler on the Roof.  “L’Chaim!”  Which is Hebrew for “to life!”

At that same time, I found a quote by my favorite poet, Maya Angelou:

“My mission in life is not nearly to survive, but to thrive, and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style.”

Next to writing for the Lord, which is my calling – the above quote is my mission in life as well.  Find out what your gifts are and use them. They were given to you for a reason, not to squelch.  There is a purpose for your life that God intended you to utilize when He created you. Perhaps if you don’t know what that purpose is it should be the top item on your “bucket” list for 2015.  Celebrate Prince/Princess of the King. There is a party being thrown in your honor! It’s time to close the door on 2014 and walk through the open door of 2015.  The BEST is YET to come.

In ___________ You Trust. (Fill in the blank) Who Do You Trust?

I’ve been thinking about the word and the significance of the word, “trust,” such a tiny word, but one that means so much and is the cornerstone of any solid relationship.

Who do YOU trust?  Answer honestly; perhaps I should be more specific.  Who have you placed your trust in?

When I was a teenager, I was a counselor at a girl’s overnight camp in New Hampshire.  We use to play a game which involved trust.  Each one of us had a partner for the game.  We would stand in front of our partner with our backs facing them.  We would fall back and trust that our partner would catch us.  Who do you trust enough to catch you, should you fall?

Deeper still – do you trust yourself?  That may sound kind of strange, but think about it…  There have been times in my own life where I have made unwise decisions that have caused me anguish and pain. It has made me re-evaluate myself and the decisions I make.  I have to rebuild trust in myself by being wise in the decisions I make and part of that is learning to guard my heart because I realize that you can also be “too” trusting.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)

On the most important level – do you trust God?  How do you view Him?  As a strong disciplinarian or as a loving, patient, forgiving Father? 

Our individual views on trust are built upon our life experiences. Honestly I will say that I have both been the recipient of having trust broken as well as breaking trust.  If you take a hard honest look at your own experiences with trust, what do you see?

Trust is fragile.  Trust is putting your faith in someone, your confidence in someone.  To me trust, friendship and love go hand in hand.  It also sets the foundation for any future relationships.  It is hard to trust if your trust has been broken in the past.  It is only natural to think that if you have been hurt, you will be hurt again.  Like someone who has been physically abused, and cringes when someone raises their hand.  When trust is broken the wound is deep and requires healing and restoration.  If you are the person who has broken the trust it requires self-reflection, why did you do what you did? It requires confession (and I don’t mean before another individual, I mean between you and God, after all it is a personal relationship you have with Him and once you have taken responsibility and gone before the Father, He will guide you on where to go from there and it will be some direction that puts you on a closer walk with Him and teaches you in a very personal way, His grace), and then forgiveness.  Including the forgiveness of yourself – which is a crucial part of true repentance. 

If you are the recipient of that broken trust, it requires the same, restoration, healing and forgiving the individual or situation that caused you pain.  Both sides are equally hard and painful to experience, without God both sides are impossible to heal.  But with God’s help healing and restoration in time are truly possible.

If we are completely honest with ourselves, we will admit that there are times when we have missed the mark; times when we have hurt someone unintentionally and maybe sometimes intentionally.  It depends upon your frame of mind, your life experiences and the type of individual you are.  There is a saying, “hurt people hurt people.”  Unless the “hurts” are healed in your life, unless you face them you either develop a “chip on your shoulder” or build up a wall that keeps anyone out, even someone who wants to know or love you for who you really are.  Our preconceived ideas of how an individual is based upon what we’ve experienced in the past, which is unfair to the person who is the recipient of hurts that have occurred in your life in the past, and doesn’t give that person a fair chance for you to know them.  You can short change yourself in coming to know someone who truly wants to know you for you by piling on them the hurts of past situations or un-trust or building up walls. You can tell if a person really cares about you if they are patient to gently prove to you that there is no need to keep those walls up.  This requires patience, love and someone who really is or wants to be a good friend. The proof is in the pudding and good friends are hard to come by, if you have someone like that in your life - count your blessings.  Sometimes we need to take time to heal and recover before we can move forward.

There are several scriptures that deal with the topic of trust, particularly and importantly about the Lord, because if you trust in Him, than the other trusts (yourself and other people) should follow suit, or the revelation that you need healing for trust issues will be revealed.  Perhaps these scriptures will give you (as they have for me me) food for thought:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

“And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.” (Psalms 9:10)

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” (Isaiah 26:3)

“To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David. I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.” (Psalms 40:1-17)

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8)

I have learned over my time as a prodigal not to judge someone unless I have walked in their shoes.  I have also learned never to say never because you “never” know where life or your own decisions will take you.  You can easily become the person you swore you’d never be. It all comes down to trust. Trust in God, trust in yourself and trust in others.  So again I ask – who do YOU trust?  And if you don’t, what are you doing about it? Food for thought...

Grieving God

I would be remiss in writing from an “ex-prodigal” point of view on a Prodigal blog without bringing up this point, if you are an ex-prodigal there may be a lot of “aftermath” from your prodigal experience that you have to heal from or deal with in order to move forward.

The story about the prodigal son in the Bible doesn’t contain the details of how the Prodigal dealt with the aftermath of his experience.  Denying it occurred is not one that is healing or healthy.  Although the Father came running down the pathway to meet his son “half way” and forgave him and wrapped his arms around him in forgiveness, the fact of the matter is the son had grieved the father.

The sin of whatever our prodigal experiences have been has at one point, grieved Your Heavenly Father.  I am learning that when we put someone or something ahead of or in the place of God we not only need to ask for forgiveness (which He immediately gives us) we need to take time to restore our relationship with Him.  I’ve only just come into the realization of this.  Think about it because it makes sense…

You fell head over heels in love with someone (outside the will of God) or perhaps it was something else - some life style or addiction or developed sinful habit that  you gave your heart, your energy, your time, your devotion; time that you use to give to God (you fill in the blank because you know what the prodigal situation in your life is/was).  Your focus was taken off of God and put on that particular situation. You walked away from the Father.  You hurt Him.  You grieved Him. You did that which He commanded you not to do.  And now you have returned.  You have repented. You have realized the error of your ways.  Perhaps, like me you came back in a totally broken state.  Your heart a mess.  Your thoughts a mess.  All that you thought was real, blown completely away. Shattered. The person you trusted most, betrayed you.  You came back to your Father in a broken, shattered state. Numb, fragmented and feeling as though you were dying inside.  Your Father saw you coming down that pathway, returning home.  He saw your bowed head, your slumped shoulders, the dragging of your feet as you were weighed down with the weight of the world and your sin.  In spite of the pain and disappointment you caused your Father, He rejoiced at the sight of you!  He actually ran out the doors of His home and came RUNNING down the pathway to meet you and wrapped His arms around you.  Broken you.  The one who had disobeyed him. The one who had walked away from Him.  The one who had hurt Him.  He willingly forgave you.  For me, that humbled me beyond any words.  I had taken my heart from Him, gone against His word and gave my heart completely to someone else.  Someone who God knew would crush it. And they did. I allowed it to be crushed by my own willingness to give it to them so the fault was completely mine for going against what God’s Word told me to do. True repentance is taking responsibility for your own actions.  You can't take responsibility for anyone else's BUT your own.

Ex-prodigal, I write these words to you because it is important for you to know that restoration, and healing take time. Just because God has forgiven you (and He has!) you need to work on restoring your relationship with Him.  This is something that we need to acknowledge. I had not thought about it this way before, but the revelation hit me hard this week. I hurt God by my prodigal actions. He has forgiven me, but I need to heal and I need to rebuild my relationship with Him.  YOU DO TOO.  Maybe your prodigal experience was different than mine (it probably was) but whatever it was, you allowed it to occur.  You took your eyes off of God and onto something else.  Perhaps it is something you are still struggling with.  Allow yourself the time for restoration.  Allow yourself time to spend with your Father.  It is a personal relationship you have with Him.  It’s not only about repentance (which is recognizing that you did sin against God and turning from that sin) but it is about restoration.  When we have returned from a prodigal experience we have to allow ourselves time with God to restore that relationship.  We HURT God.  We grieved Him.  There are many places in the Bible that tell about times when God’s people grieved Him.

“The LORD saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. The LORD regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled.” (Genesis 6:5-6)

“And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.” (Ephesians 4:30)

Jesus was fully man and fully God. I had forgotten about that… We can hurt or grieve God through our actions.  Therefore, I have realized that it takes time to restore a loving relationship with Him.  YES, He has forgiven you.  Yes, your sins are thrown in the sea of forgetfulness.

“Come now and let us reason together, says the LORD, though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool." (Isaiah 1:18)

"For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." (Psalm 103:11-12)

It is important that during your return you spend time in the Word of God and time alone with Him. This is the point I am at in my walk on my own return. Careful self-examination, healing and a rebuilding that relationship with Him is crucial and very important.  I had thought that if I just repented I could move forward, but the truth is – because my heart was shattered in the process of my own disobedience, in order to move forward I need to look back and I need to allow God to pick up each of those shattered pieces and to heal me so that I can move forward in the plans He has for my life.  I am not a very patient person, I never have been but this is something that God will not allow me to rush on.  Don’t be surprised dear Ex-Prodigal (or prodigal who is making his/her journey back home).  If this is where you are too.

There are things that God needs to heal.  However long you were in that prodigal state may require more healing and time before the Lord.  Restoration takes time.  He is able.  He is willing.  As hard as it is, you need to be too. And in the process of all this reflection, healing and prayer, do not allow ol'slewfoot to beat you up about your prodigal time.  You HAVE been forgiven.  Now you need to spend time healing in your relationship with your Father.  So that He can rebuild you, encourage you, love you up mighty much and allow YOU to fall deeper in love with Him.  This will eventually cause a new maturity in your walk and your commitment with Him.

Here is the good news, if you look throughout your Bible, you can see that most of the people God uses abundantly are those who at one time or another in their walk, experienced a prodigal time in their journey.   Think about it:

Abraham lied, Sarah laughed at God's promises.
Moses was a murderer, so was Paul
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
David had an affair and was a murderer
Jonah ran from God
Rahab was a prostitute
Peter denied Christ
The disciples fell asleep while praying

To name just a few... The point is - God uses ordinary people to carry out His extraordinary plan.  His grace is sufficient.  In fact, once you come to the realization that it is NOTHING BUT His forgiveness, His love, His mercy AND His Grace you are well on the road to healing. 

“Lord, I am so sorry for grieving you. I didn't think of it that way.  You have feelings as I do.  I hurt you, when I sinned against your Word and commands.  I grieved you.  I am genuinely sorry.  I know you have forgiven me, now I ask you to restore me. Restore our relationship.  Renew our relationship.  As I gave you my heart when I accepted you as my Lord and Savior I take back my heart from wherever/whoever I gave it to and give it again to YOU. Forgive me, heal me, help me. Thank you for never having left me – even though I had walked away from you.  Renew our relationship and draw me nearer to You.  I love you Lord.  I give you my will, my heart and my hurt.  I give you ALL I am. Please take all the shattered pieces of me and mold them back into one piece, stronger and able to love you more.  I am not able to do this on my own.  The pieces are too many, but you created my heart in the first place. Please put all the pieces back together as only you know how. I love you Father – I renounce ALL that led me away from You and pray that You would guide my steps again from this way forward.  I can do nothing in and of my own self.  Be with me, guide me, heal me, help me, use me.  In the name of your Son, the one who willingly gave His life for mine.  I pray.  In Jesus precious name. AMEN.”