|He's Only A Prayer Away|
*Picture from Imagebank.org/uk
What faith that woman had. Twelve years of bleeding. She never accepted it. Can you imagine how hard it was for her to get close enough to "touch him"? Crowds always followed Jesus. But her determination and her faith - even to the point of saying to herself "IF I COULD ONLY TOUCH HIS CLOAK." How loving was his response. I'm sure that in the Old Testament times this woman was ostracized. I'm sure she probably felt very much alone. Maybe she felt as though she had done something to bring this on herself. Day after day she lived with this ailment. My heart goes out to her.
Although I have only been considered a survivor for almost two months now, my life has changed drastically. I guess the only way I can describe it is the difference between a beautifully painted "water color" picture and a vibrant, brilliant oil painting. The water color was before bc and the oil painting - after. I wake up each morning thankful that God has given me another day.
That woman - I can almost see her determination that no matter what it would take - she WOULD reach Jesus and touch Him. How did she feel when He turned around and acknowledged that He knew He had been touched? Was she scared? But I'm quite sure His loving reaction - "Take heart daughter" was as healing to her as the actual reaching out to touch Him.
"Lord - I'm reaching out to you - as she was. I don't know the words to say, because there is so much going on inside me... I want to touch you. The last two years have been the hardest in my walk with You. I know I'm not telling you something you don't already know. I don't know how to - get back to where I was with You. I've always been honest - you know this. So Lord - I will reach out to you today and I will simply say - "Help me." Two words Lord. For I don't know exactly what to pray. I only know that my life is in Your hands. In Jesus' precious name I pray. Amen."
I guess the biggest thing I've learned is that you can't "earn" heaven. Its not about "going to church" church doesn't save you - it helps build you up in Christ and surrounds you with other believers (the body). What saves you is the fact that Jesus died on the cross for forgiveness of our sins. Its His love. It's His mercy, its His sacrifice, its His grace. How strongly I'm aware of that..
I'll bet you her life was vibrant and full and she never took life for granted after that moment. I wish the Bible told us more about her - what her life was like before and after... I think tomorrow when I wake up I will picture what it would be like if Jesus was sitting at a table right across from me. Perhaps even joining me in a D& D Skim Latte with a thick foam (smiling) and what I would say to Him. I think that is how I shall start tomorrow. For now - I simply say "Lord, like that woman - I am reaching out to touch you. Help me and I love you."