It has now been seven years since I started this blog. How quickly time goes by! We are many members but we are one in the body of Christ. Therefore you do not journey alone! Hopefully through this site you will be encouraged by the fact that many things you are going through in your own walk, others are going through (or have gone through) as well. Sometimes we think we are "going through things alone." But we are not. God said that "He would Never Leave Nor Forsake Us." (Hebrews 13:5) and that "There is Nothing New Under The Sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9). No man is an island. It's easy to forget that. May the words in this blog help you to think, encourage you in whatever spiritual state you are in and may the Lord use them to help us to grow in Him! He is the Author and Finisher of our faith!

I don’t want any readers to think that I am “promoting” being a prodigal. I definitely am not. But what I am hoping to do – is to encourage those of us who either have had or are currently experiencing a hard time in our walk to be honest about it. Personal conviction is a powerful thing, especially if you truly love the Lord. I think that sometimes the Body of Christ critiques and judges to the point where the person who is at the other end of that pointing finger feels ostracized, alienated and alone. I don't think that that is what Jesus intended. When I read through my Bible - I see a firm yet gentle restoration that Jesus ministered to those around Him. Look at John 21:15-19. When Peter who was at an all time low point in his walk - he was firmly, yet lovingly restored by Jesus. He didn't tear him down, or yell or make him feel any worse then he already did. He spoke to him lovingly and gently - and in doing so, Peter was able to repent and minister in a much more powerful, humble and confident way and it became one of the largest ministries ever.

Please note that I am only a vessel, my calling - to write. I dedicate this blog to the Lord and ask that He use it to reach out and touch whoever needs a special, loving, personal touch from Him. My hope is that the Holy Spirit allows you to see Him through the words (and not me). We go through things so that we can extend our right hand of fellowship behind us to assist and help someone else. Our Bible is the same today, as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow. (I am far from perfect and do not profess to have all the answers...) but the good news is - Our Heavenly Father does! His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy is real!Nothing you are experiencing in your walk comes as a surprise to Him! May He be glorified through this blog and may God bless you at whatever stage in your walk you are in!~

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor
I was diagnosed with early stage triple negative breast cancer on June 24th, 2010 - I have been cancer free for 7 years now. It was only a chapter in my life - NOT my life, but the impact is one that has changed my life forever. Its important for women to know that 80% of the breast cancer diagnosis come from women who don't have a history of it in their family (My family didn't). Early detection is the key. For more information please click on the pink ribbon above. It could save your life.


August 26, 2010

It's Not That Simple, Simon.

Can you imagine God's viewpoint? Ours is soooo small.
Sometimes the hardest part of being a prodigal is not knowing "how" to find your way back. Throughout my 23 years of being a Christian, from the very start - I talked. Simply talked to God. When I first accepted Christ back when I was a Theater Major at UMass Boston - searching for God. I made it clear to Him that IF HE WAS REAL I needed Him to reveal Himself to me. I challenged Him to do so. He did.  Throughout the years of my walk with Him, I always spoke to Him like I would sitting across the dinner table to a friend.  I wanted His opinion. I wanted to be close to Him. As I drew nearer to Him - He drew nearer to me.  It was intimate. It was real.  It was "the peace that passes all understanding." I fell in love with the Lord. My soul desire was to live for Him.  I would read the Bible until I fell asleep with my face in it at night.  I wanted MORE, I wanted to know. And He revealed so much to me.  His Word - the Bible - TRULY is the living Word. I longed for Him, I sought Him and I found Him. I can honestly say there is NO great feeling in this World than feeling God's arms wrapped around you. That is how it was for my first 20 years in Christ. I experienced my ups and downs as one does when they are on a journey with Him.  I prayed diligently that the things He wanted to change within me - that He would change. And He did - NOT by someone telling me "I couldn't do things anymore" but by Him taking away the desire for those things within me. So that I no longer was interested in them.

We each come from different walks. I use to help minister to women. Looking back at that time, I really thought I had it all together. I probably did - but only because I didn't truly know what going "through" the fire was. I was able to be transparent with my walk before women. To sympathize, to pray, to encourage and hopefully to be used by the Lord. I didn't realize how much God wasn't done with me yet. I didn't realize how my footing could quickly slip. I didn't realize that I would compare myself to the prodigal's son. I took my steadfastness for granted. I didn't realize that unknowingly perhaps, I judged people in my head. I "felt sorry" for them. Compassion yes - but sorry too.  I look back on those times when I felt so strong - and I feel like I'm looking at the life of another woman. For I am not that pillar of strength now.  I have been humbled.  I've been brought down to my knees - and in case you think the cancer did this - I can tell you IT HAS NOT. I was already experiencing sooooo many questions, sooo much confusion (which I know isn't of God) before any of that.

The WORST feeling in this world - is feeling far away from the LORD and NOT knowing how to find your way back. You ask yourself time and time again - How do I regain what I loss? How do I and in doing so do it HONESTLY.  What do you do when your heart is not inline with what people are telling you you should do? Oh it is soooo easy to dool out advice to someone. It is sooo easy when you have not walked in their shoes to tell them what they should do. I realize now that in doing that you can cause a person to feel so divided. It's God who does the changing.  It's God's compassion and mercy for those that are in a prodigal's state to bring them out.  I know that for those who truly want to be right with Him - that it is HIM who has to do the changing. Thankfully God looks at the heart.

You have no idea what the person you are sitting, walking , standing, driving next to - is going through in their life. Perhaps they are being tormented? Perhaps they are crying out for help.  I think remembering my Word - Jesus saw this with people. He was compassionate. He was merciful, He was forgiving, He was loving.  Shouldn't we be the same? If we are to be called "Christians" (to be CHRIST LIKE) shouldn't we be the same?

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